Crusilla Fic - Part Two

[stoney321]

Although it sounds shippy, it isn't. Maybe it'll stay that way. They're both pretty lonely...

Continued from here.

Family - The Ties That Bind
Author: Stoney321, beta'd by Crazydiamondsue
Disclaimer: I don't own, make money, or have dinner with the characters from Joss' playpen. I do have coffee with them, but that's between me and my lord.
Rating: It's clean, but Dru can be scary. Don't read this to three year olds. No squicks. Unless damn fine story telling is a squick. O_O
Summary: Set between Season 3 and 4 of AtS. How Connor filled his time while "searching" for his dad. And who found him.


Part Two

Sweet and soft and sugary like candy. She always liked the young ones with their tender flesh, their blood fresh and sweet with a hint of their mother's milk. They stopped the ache she carried inside, the ache for her own child. Becoming a demon should have quelled that, but then, she wasn't like the others. That's why Daddy chose her above all others.

She thought she'd want to make him her baby, but when she touched him, her mouth didn't flood with the taste of peppermints and lollipops. She didn't feel the familiar and cruel ache in her belly - the ache that led to snapping of necks and dressing up dollies. She felt something squeezing her chest, she felt prickers in her eyes, and her arms felt empty. At night, she anticipated his arrival and would sit primly, hands folded in her lap, and wait. She wouldn't hunt out of respect for him. When he did arrive, she didn't feel the need to rock him or taste him. Instead, he would sit next to her, shoulders touching and she would just ... rest. Sometimes Drusilla let her head lay on his shoulder. Her brother - so warm.


*~*~*
Connor walked around the abandoned warehouse for a fourth time. It was becoming more and more difficult for him to sneak away from Fred and Gunn. They always wanted to accompany him when he left to "look for clues about my father." If they knew he was meeting Drusilla, they'd probably stake him, too.

He stood outside the door, felt his heartbeat racing, and forced himself to relax. He knew she was on the other side of the door, watching, feeling him. He knew he shouldn't be doing this, letting her live, but with Holtz gone... He had no one. No one that cared about him. Well, not anymore.

Hand on the door, he took several deep breaths, reminding himself who -what - he was before he opened it. She sat on a crate opposite the door. There were blankets draped over them to protect her delicate dress. While he lay in his bed trying to sleep, he wondered about her delicate clothing. She was a killer, dangerous, but she wore the trappings of a lady. It belied her strength.

The corner of her mouth twitched into a smile when she saw him. He couldn't help but give her a small one in return.

They had met like this twice since their initial meeting on the pier. Usually, they sat in silence, becoming used to one another. Their last meeting, Connor had ventured so far as to ask how old she was.

"Oh, ages."

"No, I guess I mean- how old were you? When he changed you?"

She turned to look him in the eye. Her hand stole into his lap, she twined her fingers in his, said, "I think about your age. Bit older. Big Sister, looking out for Baby Brother."

She smiled, and the hunter had gone away. He didn't feel the hair on his neck creeping up. Holtz's voice was squashed under his sister's steady gaze.

Now they sit, shoulder to shoulder, lost in thought and being near one another for a few hours.

"Musn't stop breathing - you'll end up blue-faced like Daddy."

He didn't realize she had noticed. He would hold his breath when they sat, learning to be as still as she. Always in training - Holtz had taught him well.

"We can smell the sunrise, did he teach you that?"

"You- ? What's it smell like?"

"Hurt." A beat. "Time for you to go back, my Connor. The warrior and her mate will wonder and look for you. Think terrible things, they will."

"The warrior? Fred?" He laughs at the thought.

Drusilla just looks at him, her thumb working back and forth along his slender fingers. "Tick tock tick tock. Time will tell all."

He stands in the doorway, lingering for a moment before turning his head slightly. "Be good. For me?"

"But I'm ever so hungry... What if they are very bad?"

"Drusilla," his voice a warning. "Well, I guess if they are really bad, I don't mind. Once."

Drusilla claps her hands, then stops abruptly, sensing his scorn. She looks solemn and makes a cross over her heart then pinches her lips togther. "Only the most wicked, my love. I'll punish them. I'll be just like Baby Brother. Righteous, I'll be."

He stiffens, then yanks the door open and strides through, missing her more with every step, cursing himself for wanting someone, -thing, he corrects.

But missing her all the same.

She speaks to his retreating back, knowing he can't hear her, but speaking all the same. "What havoc wrought upon a bright one's morals... She was wrong. We love the wicked and the weak, as well as the strong."

TBC... right here

*~*~*~*~*


[ETA] Forgot to give credit for being influenced by the line: "We love the wicked and the weak, as well as the strong" 'Tis inspired from James Merrill's poem, Matinees.

Comments

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

Thank you, Anne!! Drusilla knows what's going to happen in many ways. I think she is wanting to fill her time up before the inevitable happens....

Oh! I forgot to add on the quote credit. Well, it isn't a direct quote, but it's heavily influenced by James Merrill, from his poem: Matinee.

And as to Connor (or whomever) being wicked, weak, etc... I'm coming to terms with Connor being so conflicted. He was raised to believe things are black and white, good and evil. Putting his dad in a box and dumping him in the ocean is far from righteous, no matter what lies he may tell himself to sleep at night. How difficult it would be for him, a young man, childlike in his understanding of things, but with the strength of several men, the JOB of a man, to have such moral ambiguities like his father is something evil, but somehow is GOOD.

To process that, and make the decision to torture his father under the sea... And Drusilla HATES Angel. SHe loves/worships/loathes Angelus, but Angel? She cannot understand him. But she knows what "evil lurks in the heart of men" and preys upon that to weaken them for her. And Connor has some evil lurking in his heart.

But then, she loves family. She NEEDS someone. I think she's conflicted as well: he's human, broken, a perfect little dolly for her to play with. But: he's family and she needs him/wants him, so she can't play with him like she'd like. And she is certainly capable of love. We'll see. :-D

Anne, you just rock.

[anelith.livejournal.com]

The Net has failed me this time, I googled for this poem and while I found several mentions of it, there was no actual transcription -- perhaps because it's a long one (it was described as such in one of the hits I came across). I have a decent collection of poetry at home but it's mostly old stuff, very little of the modern era.

Anyway, I love your discussion of Connor and Drusilla's conflicts and motives. "Childlike in his understanding of things" -- what a beautiful and true description of Connor. As we become adults we fill in the grey tones in our view of the world. He doesn't have those yet.

I think this is your best story so far.

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

Thank you, Anne! This is more online with the type of RL writing I do, so I'm glad to know it works! (And, um, I would recommend you pick up some James Merrill. He has some of my most favorite lines written on paper in his works:

"I think now she was love. She sighed and glistened
All day with it, or pain, or both."

"One hour comes back - you gasping in my arms
With love, or laughter, or both"

Le sigh.

[anelith.livejournal.com]

I didn't know you were doing writing out there in the real world where we couldn't see it, Laura. You been holding out on us? Now I'm all injured and going to pout. No, really, what are you up to? Not all my reading material has to have the Buffyverse characters in it, you know?