[personal profile] stoney321
First off, Hellziggy made me an icon depicting the FANTASTIC Christian-power shirt worn by a True Believer on my vacation. I modified it slightly to reflect the actual shirt, no offense meant. Mr. S just reminded me that we TOTALLY FORGOT to film our hilarious rendition of "Footprints" while on the beach. Naturally, we think it was hilarious. You be the judge. If I HAD captured it, it would have gone a little something like this:

Two sets of footprints on the sand, then abruptly, one set stops as the other continues. The picture would have been taken at sunset to show me staggering under the weight of LIFE at the end of the longer set of footprints, and Mr. S in a white toga sitting on a beach chair taking a long pull off a longneck beer.


One night a chick had a dream. She dreamed she was walking along the beach with The Lord. Across the sky flashed scenes from her life. She noticed two sets of footprints in the sand: one belonging to her, and the other to the Lord.

When the last scene of her life flashed before her, she looked back at the footprints in the sand. She noticed that half-way along the path of her life there was only one set of footprints. She also noticed that it happened at the very lowest and saddest time in her life, like, OMG.

This really bothered her and she questioned the Lord about it:

"Lord, you said that once I decided to follow you, you’d walk with me all the way. But I have noticed that during the most troublesome time in my life, there is only one set of footprints. I don’t understand why when I needed you most you would leave me."

The Lord replied, "Hey, I love you and all that, but the WHINING and MOANING. I mean, Christ. There are kids without FEET for My Sake, and you're whining that you didn't stay thin after having kids? During your times of trial and suffering, when you see only one set of footprints, it was then that I bailed out and had a cool one. God's gotta relax sometime, too."

In the real "poem," I was always amused by the line "this really bothered him." Ha ha! The arrogant SOB is "bothered" by the Lord. I love it when people have no concept of their own frickin' religion. Bothered. Ha ha!! Thanks for life and animals and happiness and baked brie and cold, cold beverages and LIFE, but I'm BOTHERED by you. *foot stomp*


I blame my headache and the fact I had a surprise visit from in-laws. What's up with y'all? Dropped film off to share my cat's humiliation.... Kids are home for summer. I'll either escape and be here a lot, or be busy and away for stretches.

Date: 2005-06-12 06:48 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] julissak01.livejournal.com
The Lord replied, "Hey, I love you and all that, but the WHINING and MOANING. I mean, Christ. There are kids without FEET for My Sake, and you're whining that you didn't stay thin after having kids? During your times of trial and suffering, when you see only one set of footprints, it was then that I bailed out and had a cool one. God's gotta relax sometime, too."

Oh, dude. I'll convert to whatever religion depicts such humanity. Heeeee.

::glomps you just because::

Date: 2005-06-12 07:23 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] stoney321.livejournal.com
Hee!! And NIPPLE!! Mmmm. VK is so pretty. I want to smoosh him and Hayden together and sit back with a cold beverage. Mmm.

Hey - you wrote a ficlet recently, yeah? I think I scribbled down somewhere that I needed to check it out... Gimmie a bit to get things together at my end and I'll be all over it. Like Ewan on Hayden. Heh.

Date: 2005-06-12 08:47 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] stoney321.livejournal.com
I see that hee and raise you a chortle.

Date: 2005-06-12 08:13 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] hellziggy.livejournal.com
Cool. :)
I just whipped that one up quick after reading your post & comments. It hopped into my brain & refused to leave until it was released to the wild! Because, you know, heaven forbid I should get to work on making my 50 new user pics. :)
LJ land is stuck with us PERMANENTLY now!!!! Mwah hah hah!

Date: 2005-06-12 08:48 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] stoney321.livejournal.com
OMG, I wanted to buy the shirt off that gross boy's back. But not really because of the gross factor. I'm twelve.

FOREVAH!!! *rubs hands with glee, shops for icons*

Date: 2005-06-12 10:08 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] hellziggy.livejournal.com
I finally made me a photography icon! YAY!

Date: 2005-06-12 08:17 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] funkparadise.livejournal.com
There are kids without FEET for My Sake

For My Sake. LOL

God + a cool one=OTP4eva!!!!!111

::waits for lightening strike::

Date: 2005-06-12 08:50 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] stoney321.livejournal.com
(Psst: God isn't real. Um, niether is the Easter Bunny, I'm sorry to say. Lightening is caused by weather patterns/pressure/electricity. You're safe with me. Except for this axe I'm weilding.) AHHHH!


Hee!!

Date: 2005-06-12 08:49 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] crayonbreakygal.livejournal.com
Yeah, that lightning's gonna strike anytime soon. Hehehe. So funny. Nice new icon.

A surprise visit from the in-laws would give anyone a headache, even if you like them. Eeek. Kids home for the summer? And so it begins.

Date: 2005-06-12 08:50 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] stoney321.livejournal.com
And so it does. Everyone is JUUUUUST going to bed. But. Hopefully that means they'll sleep in. Right? RIGHT??!!?

Date: 2005-06-12 09:30 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] hellespont.livejournal.com
Have you ever read the Onion article Bullshit, Jesus, Those Are Obviously My Footprints? It's hysterical and this similar funny bit o' blasphemy reminded me of it.

Date: 2005-06-12 10:21 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] stoney321.livejournal.com
I hadn't, but did a search and found it h e r e .

HA HA HA!!! God, working for The Onion would be a DREAM come true. God, that's a funny title.
(deleted comment)

Re: *icon fear*

Date: 2005-06-13 06:55 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] stoney321.livejournal.com
MUCH better. Needed lots and lots of sleep and icy cold water before bedtime. Thanks!

Date: 2005-06-13 12:24 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] paynbow.livejournal.com
Like, OMG, why didn't you film your version? Then you could show it on TV as a PSA of some kind to conteract all those Church of Jesus Christ commercials and the "Got Jesus?" ones...although the one where the dude is bungee jumping and his cord breaks and then it flashes up "Got Jesus?" is hilarious.

Btw, icon is making me and Kirsty laugh hysterically as we sit here.

Date: 2005-06-13 06:56 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] stoney321.livejournal.com
HEE!! And yours works with mine so nicely... Hee!

Date: 2005-06-13 05:41 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] somecandytalkin.livejournal.com
Hee!
Awww! Your Jeebus is teh best!
Now you got me all fixin' to go to church or something:)

Date: 2005-06-13 06:56 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] stoney321.livejournal.com
NO!! No church! You could sleep in! Mmmm. Sleep.

Hey! WHere's this fic, missy?

Date: 2005-06-14 07:17 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] somecandytalkin.livejournal.com
Emailed it last nite:)

Date: 2005-06-13 06:39 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] anelith.livejournal.com
Hi there! Love the new version of that sappy footprints cliche! You should cross-stitch it on a pillow, I swear you should.

We went to the beach on Saturday, I was good with the sunscreen except for the top of my feet for some reason! So I have red feet. It was a blast, everyone had so much fun. The water was icy and Ron and I felt our bones ache until we lost all feeling in our legs, then we were hunky-dory! Got in up to our thighs, waves got us wet up to our chests, so I'd say we're acclimating over the years to the New England coastline. Maybe in a few more years we will actually swim? Nah, I doubt it. The kids are hardier than we and of course shorter, so got completely wet while standing at the same place we were. They loved it. Kid metabolism is so amazing.

We watched Star Wars Episode 4 with the kids last night, over a picnic on the family room floor. It was wonderful, except Nathan kept asking so many questions! "Is that a good guy or a bad guy?" "Why are they doing that?" "Is he dead?" Aaargh! But it was fun.

Date: 2005-06-13 06:58 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] stoney321.livejournal.com
I'm going to laminate it with a pic of a sunset on a piece of driftwood.

Mr. S has to watch the top of his feet, too. Not me. I just get brown, brown. No burns on me.

Picnic! We're doing that tonight with my girlfriend and her two kids since our husbands are going to be out of town. Wheee!!

Date: 2005-06-13 09:23 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] winterlive.livejournal.com
You bother me. In my pants.

Date: 2005-06-13 09:37 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] stoney321.livejournal.com
You make my pants tight.
*leers*

Date: 2005-06-13 02:03 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] winterlive.livejournal.com
Dude, it is all about the pants with us.

I miss you! Why do I not talk with you anymore? Are you missing? *confused face*

Date: 2005-06-14 07:05 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] stoney321.livejournal.com
I miss you, too!! My schedule's all wonky now that the kidlets are out of school. Activities begin tomorrow, so that should free me up. I need to write/chat/visit/laugh with my droogs again.
*sad, impatient face*

Date: 2005-06-14 11:04 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] winterlive.livejournal.com
*is a droog!* *adores you* *pines for you!!*

Date: 2005-06-13 03:45 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] violethamster.livejournal.com
Hee! I love your icon, and your thoughts on God. Please start a church now so I can join.

Date: 2005-06-15 10:32 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] crazydiamondsue.livejournal.com
Catching up on flist! Hurray! The funeral's today, though. Boo. Footprints (have you heard the song version? ::dies::) is posted in the church bathroom, I know I'll have this in my head when I go for the after funeral pee. Will there be funeral potatoes? That remains to be seen. :(

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