[personal profile] stoney321
This is for [livejournal.com profile] leeannaray who loves Obi-Wan/Padmé/Anakin as much as me.

Obi-Wan fleeing to Tattooine with the baby, Luke. PG-13, overtones of Obi-Wan/Anakin.


A/N: For those coming over from [livejournal.com profile] jedi_news, first off, thanks for reading. Second, this was a part of a challenge from my flist. The title is "So Much Betrayal," it's Obi-Wan fleeing Tattooine with baby Luke, Angst, PG-13 with overtones of Oni-Wan/Anakin.


So Much Betrayal

Prequel continued links below



The transport ship pulled away from the docking bay. A droid approached the man in the cloak. "Sir? Will you or the child require anything once we reach hyper-drive?"

"No, thank you. I believe I have everything I need."

That was a complete lie. His life had fallen apart over the past few days and his first instinct was to confer with his Padawan. But he didn't have a Padawan anymore. His heart refused to accept what his mind already had: Anakin was lost to him forever.

Did I ever really have him? he questioned. The child squirmed in Obi-Wan's arms, gave a terrific yawn and fell back to sleep, smacking his lips as he quieted again. Obi-Wan stared at the swollen face of the newborn. It was so hard to see parentage in someone so fresh and young. He loosened the swaddling around the child and tugged a delicate fist out, wrapped his finger in the babe's tight grip. Long fingers. Wide hands. His father's hands.

Was there anything of the child's mother? In a moment of uncharacterisitc vengeance, he wished there was not. Obi-Wan, normally so controlled, so trained in the Jedi way of leaving emotion aside, let himself give in to feelings not allowed to Jedi. If he was honest with himself, he had given in some time ago. That is where I failed you. Anakin, please forgive me for failing you.

To repent of his feelings for his apprentice was to feel regret for their bond, and that was something he could not do. Quite simply, Obi-Wan still loved him. The revelation that Anakin and Padmé had carried on under his nose upset him greatly. That Padmé had carried a part of Anakin, had given birth to not one, but two children - his children. That in the life thereafter, they would be linked by that bond... He immediately clamped down on the anger building in him. The sense of betrayal. The child struggled in his hands. Obi-Wan realized he had begun to grip the babe in his frustration. He pulled the swaddling off the child's head completely, and felt hatred for the first time in his life. The one thing he could never have, vowed to never make, but so desperately wanted now that he was confronted with the child. I want his child.

A sense of calm swept over him. He had cared for Padmé. She stood for all that was good with the Republic. It was no wonder that Anakin had felt for her. But he couldn't let go of the small, dark part of him that held jealousy for what they shared. Did he speak to her like he did me? Did he cry out with need in the dark and lay his head on her belly, tears wetting his face like he did for me time and again? But. His love did not kill me. Not yet. His envy for the Senator was spent. And now he had their child. A child made in love, and to love he would be delivered.

Obi-Wan settled the babe on his shoulder to ease his arm. The baby hiccupped and nuzzled his bare head against Obi-Wan's lips. Obi-Wan breathed in and felt fresh tears spring to his eyes. He smells like him. He made a vow to watch over the child, to remind Owen of his promise to care for the boy, and one day - to train him to be a Jedi. Padmé swore with her dying breath that there was still good in Anakin... Together, perhaps the last of the Jedi would be able to prove it.

*~*~*

A continuation (pre-quel of sorts) to this fic is located here.
Other Boss Of Me Fics - Jossverse are here.

Date: 2005-06-23 04:28 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] tx-cronopio.livejournal.com
Damn. Not enough to make me tolerate KONNER, now you are going to make me go back and watch all the Star Wars films. (I gave up after ESB.)

You are EVIL, I tell you, EVIL.

<-- look at that hotness!

Date: 2005-06-23 04:33 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] stoney321.livejournal.com
Not as evil as VADER, but I would make an excellent Sith Lord. *totally geeks out*

YOU NEED TO WATCH THEM ALL. *Jedi mind controls you*

Hi PAT!!!

Re: <-- look at that hotness!

Date: 2005-06-23 04:39 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] tx-cronopio.livejournal.com
You, um, don't like Kennedy, do ya? (I am referring to BtVS s7, although certainly arguments can be made regarding our dynastic K family...)

I have a little something for you, just can't manage to get to the PO. STAND BY... xox p

Re: <-- look at that hotness!

Date: 2005-06-23 04:41 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] stoney321.livejournal.com
Oooh! And no, do NOT like Kennedy. Not even a little bit. Have a big UGH for brats.

Re: <-- look at that hotness!

Date: 2005-06-24 07:32 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] 6why-me9.livejournal.com
Don't like like Kennedy either! *grrr*

Date: 2005-06-23 05:09 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] chantal87.livejournal.com
oh man . This gets to me. (I took the boy to see the movie yesterday)
::sobs a little::

Date: 2005-06-23 05:25 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] stoney321.livejournal.com
If it helps? I started crying when the green "LucasFilm" came on screen, and barely stopped. :-D (The final battle between the two at the end had me SOBBING. I'm a dork, I know this.)

:-D

Date: 2005-06-23 05:38 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] chantal87.livejournal.com
I started crying when the green "LucasFilm" came on screen
ah shit so did I. The first movie I ever remember seeing in the theater was Star Wars. I know I'm old. :)

Date: 2005-06-23 06:04 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] stoney321.livejournal.com
You and me, both, toots. Man, Lucasfilm and then chin? She trembled. It was all over from that point on. Just complete frowny face of sorrow during the whole: EPISODE III: REVENGE OF THE SITH.

*pets you*

<--Look at this ass kicking fool

Date: 2005-07-08 11:56 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] inverted-man.livejournal.com
I cried too. For Obi Wan. I saw it four times and I still couldn't keep from crying.

BWAH!

Date: 2005-07-08 12:11 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] stoney321.livejournal.com
But that's because you are obviously an emotional pussy. JESUS. Pull yourself together.

(Seriously. My inner fangeek came out in full force.)

Your icon makes me laugh. AWESOME.

Date: 2005-06-23 05:58 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] li-akari.livejournal.com
That's so beautiful that ends my day perfectly. I just wanted to read something like this about baby Luke and Obi's feelings about that. Thank you, is so heart touching.

Date: 2005-06-23 06:05 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] stoney321.livejournal.com
EEep! Man, I was about ready to pull this, so worried that it would come off saccharine, and I'm NOT a saccharine writer.

THANK YOU SO, SO MUCH!!

*hugs you*

Date: 2005-06-23 06:02 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] nicolesuzanne.livejournal.com
Awww. That made tears well up in my eyes. Beautifully done--very sad, but very hopeful...and it's wonderful to know that it all turns out for the better.

*hugs Obi-Wan*

Great fic.

Date: 2005-06-23 06:07 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] stoney321.livejournal.com
I'm so glad the fen don't mind my fic. I worry that it may not be the best I can do, and this is something I want to explore more in fic. (And would have loved to see on screen.)

Thank you so very much for putting me at (relative) ease.

*hugs YOU*

Date: 2005-06-23 09:46 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] nicolesuzanne.livejournal.com
This would have been wonderful in the movie. I think if I actually saw it, though, I would be sobbing...not like I didn't the entire time. ;P

You're very welcome!

*hugs back* Write more!

Date: 2005-06-23 07:43 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] crayonbreakygal.livejournal.com
Obi-Wan was dead on. Good fic. I loved his back and forth between being angry with Padme and Anakin, to loving the child in his arms. So wonderful.

Date: 2005-06-23 09:03 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] stoney321.livejournal.com
Oh, thanks! For some reason, I am SUPER nervous about putting this one out there. huh. (Really: thanks.)

Date: 2005-06-24 06:14 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] somecandytalkin.livejournal.com
Aww! I loved this, Missy!
This, especially got me:
The baby hiccupped and nuzzled his bare head against Obi-Wan's lips. Obi-Wan breathed in and felt fresh tears spring to his eyes. He smells like him.
Nice!

Date: 2005-06-24 06:50 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] stoney321.livejournal.com
Whew. I am SWEATING this little thing. What's that all about??

*smooch and pinch to yer bum*

Date: 2005-06-24 06:45 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] anelith.livejournal.com
Oh, so heartbreaking. Waaah!

Date: 2005-06-24 06:50 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] stoney321.livejournal.com
*hands you tissue*
Yeah? *hugs*

Date: 2005-06-24 07:32 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] 6why-me9.livejournal.com
That was really nice.

Date: 2005-06-24 07:47 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] stoney321.livejournal.com
Thank you!!

Date: 2005-06-24 09:29 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] winterlive.livejournal.com
*cries* I love you so much.

Date: 2005-06-24 10:09 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] stoney321.livejournal.com
Feeling's mutual, Winter.
*smooch*

Date: 2005-06-24 11:28 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] winterlive.livejournal.com
OMG Stoney it HURT ME! SW FIC HURT ME! I have never read it before, you know. But it's you, so I was compelled. My GOD, poor Obi-Wan! His lover dead and proof of the infidelity in his arms and yet it's PART OF HIS LOVER and he's just all... Dude, I love you. I think I said that. *clings*

Date: 2005-06-24 12:12 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] stoney321.livejournal.com
I *know!* I've been thinking about this since I left the theater in MAY. And I don't think I did my imaginings justice, but that just means I'll have to write a longer fic, and part of me wants to write that Obi-Wan suspected far earlier, and maybe put the moves on Padme, because then he could have a secret part of Anakin - the part that loved her - and it just hurts and I just don't KNOW. *cries*

I think I love you hard, too, and *clings like a monkey*

Date: 2005-06-24 11:11 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] crazydiamondsue.livejournal.com
Obi-Wan, normally so controlled, so trained in the Jedi way of leaving emotion aside, let himself give in to feelings not allowed to Jedi. If he was honest with himself, he had given in some time ago. That is where I failed you. Anakin, please forgive me for failing you.

Oh yeah...hurt me. Well, I do have angst!whore right next to my snark!whore cred.

All kinds of emotions twisted up together: bitter and hopeful and sad. *sigh* So good.

Date: 2005-06-24 12:15 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] stoney321.livejournal.com
*bawls for my poor, poor, burnt, little, crispy, evil lover man*

Sue, I know you have your fandoms, and I know you have limited time, so LOVE YOU for coming to read. (I'm keeping them short to lure people in. Muah ah ah!)

The "I loved you!" he screams still just HAUNTS me. (Um, that's one of the big reasons you saw my lip-tremble that day. I'M SUCH A DORK!!) [/isn't] :-D

Date: 2005-06-25 04:14 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] leeannaray.livejournal.com
Sorry to be so late, but the family has eaten up my time.

I so loved this. It explains so much, about why Luke didn't know Obi-Wan better. It would have been so painful, for him to watch Luke grow up, and be reminded of Anakin all the time. And his jealousy of Padme, breaks my heart.

*love you*

Date: 2005-06-25 07:01 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] stoney321.livejournal.com
I'm glad you liked this! This is a topic I would like to go deeper into - his love for and betrayal by Anakin... What happened on Tattooine to make him go from "I loved you!" and caring for his child, to fighting and training Luke to kill Vader.

(Did you see the vid over on Ewan_Hayden... Lost Brothers? *bawls some more*)

Date: 2005-06-25 07:03 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] leeannaray.livejournal.com
I'll have to go check that out. That's the problem with being away from lj for a few days, it's almost impossible to catch up.

Too Short.

Date: 2005-07-05 03:47 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] brn-gamble.livejournal.com
But that's not a complaint, believe me.

You know, I've said it more than once to my husband -- how I wish I could actually have his children! He wants a big family, which isn't that easy for a couple comprised of two men.

Touching fic. I tend to find the Qui-gon/Obi-wan pairing more appealing, but could certainly feel Obi-wan's angst here.

Thanks for sharing,

Brian

Date: 2005-07-05 04:46 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] stoney321.livejournal.com
Okay, you've got me tearing up. I can't tell you how much it means to me that you were moved in any way by my story. First off, how slashy was the text in Ep. 3? :-D So much hurt at Anakin's betrayal, and obi-Wan was never far from his son. There would be love and jealousy and sorrow, for my way of thinking... But in the end... mostly love.

I wish you and your husband the best of luck, and hope that you are able to realize your dreams of having a family together, somehow. Love is love, babe.

Thank you so much, and sorry that I'm gushing all over you. *smooch*

Date: 2005-07-07 11:48 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sore-de-ii-no.livejournal.com
Nicely done. I love the anguish of Obi. Very nicely done.

Date: 2005-07-09 08:13 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] likeadeuce.livejournal.com
That was a complete lie. His life had fallen apart over the past few days and his first instinct was to confer with his Padawan. But he didn't have a Padawan anymore.

stabbing heartbreak! I love this already!

(goes to read the parts with the boysex!)

Date: 2007-07-04 05:24 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ex-suhina987.livejournal.com
Oh man. I cried.

Date: 2007-07-07 02:51 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] stoney321.livejournal.com
(I've been away on vacation - sorry for the delay!)

Thank you for reading! Sorry I made you cry. <-- (a total lie. Hee!)

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