Sorry for the spam, but HEEEEEE!

[stoney321]

Probably only of interest to brandil and thebratqueen... So, I get a package today in the mail: my Caitlin books! They're used, so the first one has someone who practiced spelling "Caitlin Murphy" over and over on the inside flap. I can just see the 13 year old dreamily imagining that as the most perfect name ever. Heee!! "Cordelia with the alabaster brow..."


From the back cover:

CAITLIN WON'T WAIT FOR HIM TO LOVE HER
Caitlin. Beautiful. Dazzling. Charming. Rich. And very, very clever.
To everyone at her exclusive Virginia boarding school, she seems to have it all. But there is a secret need that haunts her life. A need for love. And only one boy can make her forget her unhappy home life, can fulfill her need for love: handsome, sensitive Jed Michaels. Jed, who has already given his heart to another girl.
But Caitlin is determined to win him for herself, one way or another. Then a tragedy occurs that has consequences that not even Caitlin can deal with...

Loving is the first in a series about the unforgettable, raven-haired beauty, Caitlin. There's never been a heroine like her.

Hahahaha! I love "raven-haired beauty" and "can fulfill her need for love."

From Book 1 (I got book 3 two weeks ago... I must read them in order! How will I ever UNDERSTAND THE PLOT, zomg??)

"Caitlin," Ginny told her, "Jed spent almost the whole night with Diana - either dancing or talking - and he didn't look as if he was suffering."

Caitlin laughed. "Ginny, you crack me up. You don't really expect me to believe Jed spent a whole night with a nothing like Diana?"

"You can believe what you want - but it's the truth."

Caitlin remained on the bed as Ginny took her nightgown and towel and left the room for her shower. Caitlin was furious with Jed. How could he have danced all those dances with Diana? Everyone in the school was probably already talking about it!

It was time for Caitlin to take some serious action!

Oh Em Gee, people!! Caitlin is going to pull out biochemical weapons of mass destruction! Or genetically clone an impostor to Diana and stab it, then hide the real Diana in a cave and tell her the world ended and it's ALL DIANA'S FAULT! Or stab her a billion times and dump her body - weighted with ceramic unicorns - into the Chesapeake Bay!

...or get revenge involving a horse. SOME HOW JED WILL BE HERS. All hers. Muah ah ah!

Comments

[brandil.livejournal.com]

SQUEE!!!

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

I KNOW!! They'll be winging their way to you when they're all read up! Which should take... like a day. :D

[brandil.livejournal.com]

Can NOT wait. Do I need to send them on to thebratqueen?

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

I don't know, but I'll find out!

When you get a spare... Email me at stoney321 [at] livejournal.com your mailing address so's I can ship them bitches!

[beanbeans.livejournal.com]

How is it fair that people get paid to write such things! Is there no justice in the world!?!? *is indignant and emo liek whoa*

*want to read them now* :P

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

Hahaha! I KNOW. But. This is Francine Pascal, of Sweet Valley High fame. She is so "prolific" that she has people write FOR HER. And she gets paid.

Judy Blume will always be Queen Bee of the tender aged YA books for me. Oooh, and the Ramona books!!

*squishes you* Hi!

[beanbeans.livejournal.com]

OMG, I need a publishing gig like that. :P

Oh yeah- "Tales of a Fourth Grade Nothing". Heh- and later- "Wifey". *shifty eyes*

Hi! Sorry I've been so MIA- Pre and Post con craziness. I'm getting back into the swing again now though. *squishes back*

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

ME TOO.

And don't worry about being MIA! I read your reports with glee, and I know what it's like with kiddoes and things and school and on and on! *hugs*

[beanbeans.livejournal.com]

:)

[mrmonkeybottoms.livejournal.com]

You have to keep me updated on what happens in these books! I vaguely rememeber them...

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

I know - I spent the better part of an afternoon googling her name, trying to find the books. There's a horse accident, a wheelchair, a love gained and LOST, omg.

And someone's perfect 5 year old son that loves Caitlin? Ahahahaha! GENIUS.

[going-not-gone.livejournal.com]

Attack of the MARYSUES!!! AIIEEEE!

Thud.

*is ded of the marysueness*

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

TRILOGY OF MARY SUES!!! Wheeeeee!

[leila82.livejournal.com]

I never read the Caitlin books, but I just had to giggle at "Cordelia with the alabaster brow..."

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

Heeeee!! Oh, the Anne of Green Gables love. *talks to my personal Katie-in-the-glass*

[leila82.livejournal.com]

Exactly! I loved their story writing club, with the tragic stories where everyone died horrible deaths. I started writing a few of those myself, when I was that age.

[fiveandfour.livejournal.com]

loved their story writing club, with the tragic stories where everyone died horrible deaths.

I did, too - so, so funny. But I always thought they were just a leetle bit weird for it anyway.

[leila82.livejournal.com]

Oh but it was all about the dra-mah, and also using really big words. Sometimes incorrectly.

Mine were worse, because I was going through my R. L. Stine/Christopher Pike stage, and so there were murders and ghosts involved...I was really morbid as a child.

[leila82.livejournal.com]

...wait a minute. You're saying these Caitlin books were from the same author as the Sweet Valley High series? I loved SVH!! I wanted to be Elizabeth, very very badly. I think I'm going to have to find these books on my next trip to the library, now.

[thebratqueen.livejournal.com]

*makes sounds so high-pitched only dolphins can hear them*

OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMG!!!!!!!!!!! HOW SAD IS IT THAT I REMEMBERED JED AS SOON AS I READ HIS NAME????????

When does she turn evil? Has she turned evil yet?

<-- my icon for the porn I'm writing!!

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

*takes a deep breath and dives deep to avoid the dolphin attack*

OMG DIANA IS THE 'UGLY' ONE and the "fat girl" - we know this because she is CONSTANTLY REACHING INTO HER BAG FOR CHOCOLATE BARS - is Morgan. Nice and horsey. hahahahaha!!!

Okay, did you see that I'm sending these to Brandi and she wants to know if they're to carry on to you when she's done? You want?

Oh, and she STARTS OFF EVIL. She's Cordelia with a confident Willow roomie. It's a redemption tale! OF LOVE.

Re: <-- my icon for the porn I'm writing!!

[thebratqueen.livejournal.com]

OMG YES BEST THING EVER PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

JOYCAKES!

Email me your mailing address and we'll make sure you get it, SWEEEEET.

[thebratqueen.livejournal.com]

WHEEEEEEE!!!!!!

[crazydiamondsue.livejournal.com]

You know, I read the SVH books, but I never got into the Caitlin ones. But I can quote that Elizabeth and Jessica Wakefield were both "identical from their California sunstreaked blonde hair to their perfect size six figures to their matching gold lavaliers."

I still don't know what lavaliers are. Don't they have something to do with the Greeks? Also, it makes me sad to think that if the books were written today, they'd have perfect size 0 figures...

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

Lavaliers? Like a locket? *sings Daddy Warbucks' line from ConnieAnnie: The Musical*

They WOULD be written as 0s. Lilah would remain spoiled (but unloved by her reaching/wealthy father) with flashing green eyes to match her lime green Fiat. Hahahaha. I drove a beige Fiat the first half of my senior year. WHAT A PIECE OF JUNK.

[lettered.livejournal.com]

I ...this is...you have to keep posting about WHAT HAPPENS. Because, zomg, the genius of the plot. And characterizations. And gorgeous writing.

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

IT IS TAKING ALL OF MY STRENGTH TO NOT WRITE MOCKING COMMENTARY IN THE MARGINS!!!

Example: "Caitlin stood frozen to the spot for several minutes, seething as she listened to Jed's footsteps fading behind her. Her hands were clenched so tightly at her sides that her fingernails cut into her palms. This couldn't be happening to her! she thought. And all because of theat prissy nothing of a girl! She'd get Diana back for this. She'd have her revenge if it was the last thing she did!"

What I want to add: "A single reed instrument sounded in the background as her steely gaze focused high on the banyan tree overlooking the cliff. She felt her hatred focus into a ball of energy and in one swift kick, halved the tree with a high 'Kee-yah!'

'Well done, Grasshopper. Now. Finish her!'

Caitlin bowed to her master and moved swiftly to her battle horse. She would kill Diana and put her head on a pike and then Jed would be HERS."

[lettered.livejournal.com]

babhahahahahahahahah! Your stories are so much better!

Oh, I love you so.

I just wrote fingernails cutting into palms and now it's making me itchy to change it.

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

No, no, I'm sure yours is FINE. This is her anger over Jed loving a PLAIN GIRL with OUT OF DATE CLOTHES, omg. And she can't RIDE. Or play tennis!!!! Horrors.

(Oooh, is this the new fic you posted this morning? SWEEEET. I'll be there later today, yo.)

[lettered.livejournal.com]

ZOMG I WANT YOU TO READ IT STONEY I WANT YOU TO.

But the nails aren't in this one they're in the next one. It's because Angel's thinking about his son and NO ONE CAN KNOW, LIKE, EVAH! It's CRACK. I've never been this in love with a story I wrote before, I don't think. And it's crack.

For reading today, Caitlin must talk like a pirate in your head. This is your assignment.

Dude, Diana can't even ride? I'm totally feeling Cait-ie-lie's pain. MY EYES PALMS, THEY BLEED.

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

No, Diana can NOT ride, and don't even THINK Caitlin isn't going to use that knowledge to make her look dee you em, DUMB. But will it backfire? Oh god, will it?!??!?

I will read it!! Oh, your new story sounds RIGHT UP MY ALLEY, YES MA'AM. No one can know. Because they won't understand. But in the quiet hours when Angel has his hand over Connor's mouth to muffle his moans and he stops in mid thrust (with Connor pushing back to make him MOVE, dammit) because he thinks he hears the squeak of floorboards outside Connor's bedroom and he vamps out a little because his first instinct is Gunn or Wes is coming to fuck his boy, and he takes it out on Connor's ass (teeth on the tender flesh behind his boy's ear) and Connor has to bite his dad's hand to stifle the groan of pleasure - hard enough so blood is drawn on Angel's hand, which COnnor sucks dry, which makes Angel come so hard he pounds into his boy knocking him against the headboard...

I think I need a minute.

[lettered.livejournal.com]

Dude, almost always, when I talk to you, I just want to fly, fly through the internet cable my pretty and HUG YOU SO HARD. Because I'm all hot and sweaty in the wrong places now but I am also laughing my ass off. HOW DO YOU DO BOTH?

But anyway it's not incest. It's . . . it's gen. I KNOW.

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

It ISN'T incest!!

1) they aren't human
2) fucking family is what vampires are all about. ALL. ABOUT.
3) it's not really porn (it so it) it's CHARACTER STUDY
all of which 4) make it gen

I could diagram that into a mathematical equation if you need one...

(And heeee! COME TO ME, my precious. HOLY FUCK I need to write some porn!) *makes plans for today to do JUST THAT*

[lettered.livejournal.com]

So . . . you're saying Angel/Connor = gen? I . . . think I do need the diagram for that.

But anyway, dude, I totally have A/C porn gen bunnies in my head. Well, there's this one, which I've half written, which actually IS incesty porn AND gen because on the surface it is so genny, but on the gooey inside it's porny. And then there's one that really is just porn. So, you know, you don't have to worry about turning me to the dark side. I'm so there.

ZOMG I want to read your porn! Go write, you.

[anelith.livejournal.com]

OK, you know, don't you, that you've created a monster here? By that I mean you've now made us (your flist) into Caitlin fans who demand to have further snippets "read aloud" (read: typed). Only the best bits (read: worst bits) of course. We want to know what happens to Diana! And Jed! I'm worried about him, because that kind of stalker-ish love just isn't healthy.

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

Heeeeeee!!! I will provide more snippets momentarily! Just back from my walk, finding good mocking bits (did you see the continuation above with TKP? Heh.) and will keep you all SATISFIED WITH THE GLORY OF THE TALE. Heh.

OMG, JED! She is gonna GET YOU.