Wanna know what's awesome? Warning - mild freak out.

[stoney321]

Here's what's awesome: getting your period a week early. Why is this awesome? Because I'll be using porta-potties for the next three days and camping with strangers. YAY, LIFE! *punches life square in the nuts* Speaking of using porta-potties and duck-walking to them to avoid repeating the Incident of Ninth Grade Horror. Mr. Scotty? Set sarcasm phasers to KILL.

So I'm beginning to freak out. I don't know ANYONE there. Okay, I'm pretty chatty. I'll make friends. Or "friends." But most of these people are on teams - they've been training for months, fundraising for months, and I signed up on a whim in September. Granted, I don't regret raising the money for cancer research and treatment, spamming y'all's LJs with Breast Cancer Awareness info and all of that, just...

• What if my tentmate (randomly selected) snores? Or has bed poots that make me gag? Or is irritated by my constantly running to the Porta-Potties in the middle of the night to check the torpedos?
• WHAT IF I HAVE AN "ACCIDENT" while walking? Good god, I am NOT going to be this event's Uta Pippig. *shudders*
• What if my family doesn't come to cheer me on because my MOTHER IN LAW continues with her Sunday plans to take the kids to a "pumpkin patch?" I swear, Mr. S will be sleeping in the cat box if that happens.
• What if I'm lonely? Waaaaaaah. OKAY I'M IRRITATING MYSELF, SO I'M GOING TO STOP NOW.

On the other hand, I feel strong. I don't have any doubt that I can walk 20 miles a day for three days straight. My muscles are primed and ready, I have Aleve for nighttime aches, my feet are good. I'm a hiker and camper in the outback from way back, so I'm not worried about being "cold." Because this is friggin' TEXAS. I can handle 50 degrees in the morning. I'm not bringing a cot, just the bag. And forty million Kotex. FUCK.

Good lord, I need a laugh now. Hahaha, Oh Kids in the Hall. Always good for a laugh. I pinch your face! Today's job: hydrate. Oh, Vitamin Water. I love you so. I will nap. I will pack. I will make sure I have an extra tarp (thanks, crevette). I will take a short 5 mile walk to limber up. I will repeatedly punch my womb. And tonight? The Office. And later, a creepy movie with Mr. S when he gets home, "A Tale Of Two Sisters." Eeeeek!

*deeeeeeeeep inhale* Okay. Time for this emo-kid to cheer up. In positive news, this is the last time you'll hear me talk about gearing up for this walk-a-thon, so yay you! :D

Comments

[ladycat777.livejournal.com]

Or, you know, you could have a totally awesome tent-mate who is funny and witty just like you and is actually waiting for you to have bed poots (which, dude, I'd never heard of and find *hysterical*)...

You will rock. It will be awesome, I know it. And uh, the MIL can go DIAF, thank you. Mr. S will come through :)

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

You don't know about bed poots? Everyone poots in bed. EVERYONE. The mark of a good spouse is when you can laugh and punch each other when they're bad. And then laugh more.

*toughens the hell up* Okay. Deep breath.

[sweptawaybayou.livejournal.com]

*hugshugshugs*

You'll be in my thoughts all weekend, babe and I'll be sending you all the strength I can. Not that you'll need it.

:)

This is a wonderful thing you are doing and you are more than wonderful to be doing it.

*luffs hard*

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

Don't forget to check yer boobs! Make it fun - get someone else to do it for you. Heee!

Thanks, Snow.

[wickedgrdn.livejournal.com]

Oh God, poor you! Of all the weeks to get your period! I sympathize completely. It sucks to be a chick sometimes ya know! And I laughed so hard when you punched life in the nuts. Who doesn't want to do that every now and then, LOL. XD

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

I MEAN, COME ON. I have ONE FULL WEEK before it was scheduled to arrive. HAHA, LIFE.

[wickedgrdn.livejournal.com]

I think life is laughing right back at you. SUCKA!!!! LOL. At least it seems to do that to me like, all the time. :S

[bitchygrrl.livejournal.com]

You will be fine, you are aewsome who wouldn't want to be your friend. Your tent mate will love you madly and cry when you leave. Your MIL will be eaten by a giant pumpkin :) Also A Tale of Two Sisters, good choice. I totally get creeped out every single time I watch it.

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

I've not seen that movie before, so I'm very excited!!

(And I have this fear that my tentmate is going to be a Slavic woman that can crush me with her arms - but hold me tenderly when I need it - and will frown upon my weak womb, allowing Life Force to leave without permission.)

It's entirely possible I'm cracking up and should be tossed into an incenerator.

[brandil.livejournal.com]

I think that our bodies plan to revolt against us just to be bitchy. It's that whole period = bitch thing I think.

I will be keeping you in my thoughts and cheering you on, I'm so proud of you for doing this, and if your family doesn't come cheer you on I will kick their asses.

did you send those caitlin books? It occurs to me I haven't gotten them yet.

in which I am the kitty, and life is the dragon

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

Oh, FRAK. No. THey're sitting in my car, waiting for me to pull my head out of my ass and take them to the PO. I forgot yesterday was my "snack day" for my Kindergartener and her class.

I'M REALLY LOOKING FORWARD TO 4:30PM ON SUNDAY. (Closing ceremonies.) Okay, that's just shitty of me. I'm looking forward to the whole thing, just not BLEEDING during it. FAHK.

Re: in which I am the kitty, and life is the dragon

[brandil.livejournal.com]

No worries, it's just that I have a long history of *not* getting packages, wanted to make sure they hadn't gotten lost.

The bleeding during it is truly sucktastic - but hey! It just makes it that much more *meaningful*

yeah, right.

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

Well, if anything, it gives me bragging rights akin to "walking to school in 10 feet of snow, uphill both ways."

I'll just imagine Coach Taylor with me, cheering me on. And making sweet, sweet gentlemanly love to me at night. Ahahahaha.

[brandil.livejournal.com]

Mmmmmmmm Coach Taylor.

::goes to happy porny place::

Mmmmmmmm Coach Taylor and the TEAM.

::goes to happy gang bangy place::

uh. TMI.

sorry

::ducks::

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

Oooh. Coach and Tim. And Matt's taking a shower, and doesn't know, and comes out with a towel on his head and sees me us and dies a little inside, and that's what gives him the edge to WIN THE GAME. and then he cries a little when I hold him later and he accidentally calls me Julie when he gets under my bra for the first time.

Ahahahaha. Mary Sue fic in three eps of a show? THAT HAS TO BE A RECORD.

[brandil.livejournal.com]

mwa hahahahaha

at least I'm not the only one.

[aimeelicious]

I was signed up for an Avon 3-day event a few years ago, and ended up not being able to do it because of work. Which was for the best yo, because I was NOT disciplined about training and would have killed myself, but I would have done it anyway. It's about the experience /channeling Dr. Phil. The period bit sucks, but you'll muddle through and OMG there'll be lots of women there you can commiserate with, I'm quite certain. You're friendly and people will like you and I have NO DOUBT it will be uplifting and rewarding, both physically and emotionally.

In other news, I totally heart your icon.

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

Hahaha, it's funny because it's TRUE. *roto-tills flesh*

And I'd always heard that athletic women has lighter periods. According to the BFF, who is a marathon runner, this is BS. And I'm hoping it will all be a great experience, and I'm sure it will be, I'm just nail-biting nervous about doing this all alone...

[wolfshark]

*cheers you on*

GO YOU!

GO YOU!

GO YOU!

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

*hears Rocky music*

ADRIAAAAAAAAN!!!! (thanks, Sharkie! *squish*)

[thebratqueen.livejournal.com]

Go you! You can do it! I believe in you!!

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

*punches fist in the air*

Metaphorically, because literally would just be dorky. Hahaha. THANKS, TBQ!

[crazydiamondsue.livejournal.com]

Noooooooooo! Aunt Flo knows better.

But I'm sure it will go GREAT and you will be surrounded by friends and admirers by the first leg. (Not too good of friends though - is Sue gonna have to slap a ho?)

I'm SO very proud of you and don't let something like Tampax come between you and greatness. You're gonna rock that bitch up and down the stockyards.

Bed poots!

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

SUE. What if she's a cabbage and asparagus eater?? AND THE ZIPPER ON THE TENT BREAKS? Oh god... I'll pack smelling salts.

I hate my bajingo today, and the baby maker that feeds it.

[crevette.livejournal.com]

What if my tentmate (randomly selected) snores? Or has bed poots that make me gag? Or is irritated by my constantly running to the Porta-Potties in the middle of the night to check the torpedos?

1. earplugs. Pack them. 2. The tents are well vented--don't worry. and also going into 3. You'll both be so tired that you won't be able to move. I was to the portalet 3 times a night and didn't even make telaryn twitch.

WHAT IF I HAVE AN "ACCIDENT" while walking? Good god, I am NOT going to be this event's Uta Pippig. *shudders*

Pit stops are the most three miles apart. You can cover that in about an hour. You'll be fine.

What if my family doesn't come to cheer me on because my MOTHER IN LAW continues with her Sunday plans to take the kids to a "pumpkin patch?" I swear, Mr. S will be sleeping in the cat box if that happens.

I'm with you on that. He'll be there. I know he and the kids are so proud of you.

What if I'm lonely? You won't be. There are going to be 2000 other women there wondering the same thing, many without teams. Find someone at opening ceremonies and make a new friend. We did.

Most of all, enjoy it. It's an incredible experience. I'm with you, babe.

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

CLOTS, IRENE. Tomorrow is the heavy day. I don't even care who's reading now. GAH.

(Okay, writing it down made me feel better, and you KNOW I've reread your post and telaryn's posts to bunk me up, right?)

EAR PLUGS. I have those. *adds to list*

[angstpuppy.livejournal.com]

You will be awsome, your tent mate will be lovely and in awe of your womanly power and...and... yeah that's all I got, 'cept you're doing a good thing. Go you!

"Tale of Two Sisters"? Freakin' scary but goooood. In a totally kind of incestuest, crazy step mother, snow white gone horribly wrong kind of way. What? Asian Extreme Horror totally rocks. Rent everything snowbloodapple reccomends, I did.

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

I AM LOOKING FORWARD TO THIS MOVIE, YES!! And I already added those other movies to my Netflix queue, wheeeee!

*turns uterine cramps into seismic waves of GLORY*

[anelith.livejournal.com]

Don't you think there are other women walking who aren't on teams too? Just wondering... Even if you seem surrounded by teams, I think you'll be "alone" for all of about 5 minutes.

I'm thinking about how incredible it sounded, your description of how that last day will be -- it brought tears to my eyes. Your family *will* be there, MIL notwithstanding. I'll be thinking of you so much this weekend.

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

Oh, I'm sure there will be. Crevette (who did this two weekends ago in FL) said there were solo walkers, I'm just getting the pre-stage jitters, so to speak.

I'm really excited about the whole event, it's just HERE now, instead of this nebulous thing in the future, you know? *squishy hugs*

[a2zmom.livejournal.com]

You will bond in an emo, sisterly way with your tentmate. There will be love and laughter, I decree it!

You're gonna rock the casbah, hon. I wish I was there so I could wave a little flag for you.

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

I know, I'll deny myself water the second day so I can hallucinate and imagine you're there!!

If you decree love and laughter, then it will be SO!! *bucks up*

[entrenous88.livejournal.com]

Yes, some of the people will be on teams, but you know what happens when you train with your team for months?

That's right. You get incredibly sick of EVERYONE ON YOUR TEAM!

So my thought is that there will be tons of people relieved and happy to meet very funny, cool, and rosy-scented bed poots you!

Plus, I will take off my tin hat for the weekend so you can send me SEKKRIT SNARKY TELEPATHIC MESSAGES! And maybe texts, hee! *beams*

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

*eats roses to ensure the bed poots*

I WILL SEND YOU SNARKY TELEPATHIC MESSAGES. Also, I'll think about the movie Tron so you can save yourself the rental fee, yay!!

:D

[redbrickrose.livejournal.com]

You're gonna be awesome.

Good luck with the tentmate and other new people. I'm sure they'll love you.

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

Watch me roll my ankle doing a stupid hop/skip in the first ten minutes and have to sit the whole thing out.

WATCH ME. Hahahaha. Dear Stoney: Don't be stupid and do a hop/skip in the first ten minutes. Love, Self.

♥

[lettered.livejournal.com]

Our uteruses (uteri?) are collaborating.

Have *fun*. Even if there's . . . bed . . . pooting.

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

I hate my uterus. I hate yours, too, if that makes you feel any better.

AND YOU KNOW WHAT MAKES EXCELLENT PACING MUSIC?? THE SOUND OF MUSIC SOUNDTRACK. Every training walk I end up seeing "The Lonely Goatherd" etc. and it is PERFECT. Don't even think I won't try and get a gang of women to harmonize with me on the walk.

I'M BRINGING MY VIDEO CAMERA, IN CASE.

[xochitl42.livejournal.com]

to check the torpedos?

I have not laughed so hard in many a day. Thank you!


I can't believe your MiL has the gall to gallavant with the kids in a pumpkin patch while you're walking 60 miles for an incredibly good cause. I hope this does not occur.

I can guarantee you wil not be lonely. I've participated in a leukemia walk of a much shorter distance, and it's amazing how quickly everyone makes friends of one another. You will be neither bored nor lonely.

You will be waaaaaayyyy too dead-tired to let a bit of snoring or bed-pooting (hee!) keep you awake. Let these not distub your thoughts any further.

You know what makes me laugh, no matter what? Playing in my head the Stonhenge scene in This is Spinal Tap. It just cracks me up. Every time. I'm cracking up right now--I am!

[ahem]

CHEERS FOR STONEY'S WALK! WOO-HOO! CHEERS! YAAAAAAAAY!

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

*gives you bonus points for Stonehenge laughing* I'm feeling less stressed and more excited as I pack my gear.

(As for MiL bidness - she's NOTORIOUS for passive-aggressive behavior that will kick this momma bird out of the nest so she can mother my chicks, so... WE SHALL SEE.)

I'm going to sleep with my face by the tent vent in case she's a cabbage eater. I'm JUST SAYING.

[chantal87.livejournal.com]

Oh Honey,
I am so proud of you. You are going to be great.
Uterus's totally suck. (Is that plural should it be Uteri?) I'll be sending out some non-smelly tent mate, low flowing cycle mojo for you and if your MiL pulls any of her bullshit I may just have to fly to Texas and hand her her ass.
*huggles you tightly*