SO BLUE. And so I rec. And pimp.

[stoney321]

I am a TOOL. Just, heads up. So I just had a crying session (complete with trembly pout! Go me!) because I can't exercise. My STOOPID fugging Achilles is a red-hot fire poker in my leg as soon as I put on shoes with a back. I have slip on "running shoes" which is to say, I have mules by New Balance that make it easy for me to hit the grocery store. Exercise in them? Riiiiiiight. All of that strength I built up, all of the toning and POWER I felt from working out is just pffffft. Gone. IT COULD BE SIX WEEKS TO RECOVER. BAH.

Wah, wah, some people have no legs, I know. But GOD DAMN. Exercise is my therapy. How I get my day started right. It's as important as my cup of coffee and newspaper, and I'm nothing if not a creature of habit. And it HURTS. (My foot, not my wanky crybaby soul. Ha ha.) I tried to just walk the kids to school, like I do EVERY DAY and I couldn't. FUCK. I feel like I'm letting my kids down by changing the schedule - that's how I make sure THEY have a good day, too. Walk to school, talk about our day, etc. It's how I encourage them to move and be healthy, too. WAAAAH. God, I'm embarrassing myself.

(Swear to god, the first person that says "take a break! You deserve it!" or "but you just did that huge walk, you're fine" is getting a lame New Balance 485 in stylish grey and pink up their kiester.) I"M LIKE BUFFY IN THE HOSPITAL, TRYING TO SAVE PEOPLE BUT UNABLE. Ahahaha. Ha ha. Okay, laughing at myself is good. but I totally am like her. Hee hee!

[ETA!] Have just tested out the elliptical treadmill, and it's a GO. Which is very gratifying. But I like being outside. But I'm being a WHINER McBitcherson, which means I should shaddup. Yay, Nordictrack!


And I just got the arthritis cream the doc gave me in my EYE OH MY GOD OW OWOWOW. You know what this calls for? LAUGHING. Lots and lots of laughing. And good fic! GOOD THING I KNOW WHERE SOME IS. This ficathon* I joined has turned out some FANTASTIC FIC. Like sitcoms like Newsradio? Scrubs? Friends? Sports Night? Kitchen Confidential? The Office? How about HITCHKIKER'S GUIDE TO THE GALAXY, people?? So much goodness. I read almost all of the fics this weekend. There were a few that had crappy formatting, and I just couldn't do it. I don't care if it's the Holy Grail of fic, if it's a solid block of letters, I won't read it. The masterlist is here, and these are the ones I thought were especially awesome:

(there are no Sports Night fics listed, because I never watched the show, but they appear to be well received. Check the masterlist for those fics.)

• The Office, Jim/Ryan and before you reel back, it's AWESOME. It's completely plausible, and the voices are perfect. sophia_helix is one of the best writers in that fandom.
• Early Newsradio, when Matthew starts working and Bill (Phil Hartman) makes him his bitch. But not like that. autumn_grunge
• ONE OF THE BEST. Arrested Development meets Newsradio. Oh holy crap, this is such a great idea, and I don't DO crossovers. Jimmy James. Michael Bluth. GOD oh my god GOB. iamsab who is one of the co-mods for the 'thon.
• The Office, Jim/Pam. A retelling of Casino Night, but not like you think. Much more in line with the show's achy feel, instead of a "fix it" fic. And it's very good. by lavenderlola
• Not funny, but absolute excellence. Post-Korea M*A*S*H, Hawkeye and Peg (BJ's wife). annakovsky knows these characters like family.
• swmbo wrote a cute and painful (because Ryan/Kelly is funny but AWFUL, which makes it funnier) ficlet that includes a dirty fish. And American Idol. Haha.
• Another Office/Arrested Development crossover. Maeby and Michael. Pam and Jim. ANOTHER ONE OF THE VERY BEST. by roz_mclure (in script format, which I actually prefer.)
• Again, another AD crossover with The Office and holy crap, she KNOWS GOB BLUTH. That may be the best Gob I've read. Gob/Kelly Kapoor. I howled reading this. by kyrafic, another of the co-mods.
• Short AD fic, post series. Michael/Lindsay and I loved the images this made. I could see it. Plus, bonus for being short and tightly written, and including the staircar. by sloganeer
• The Office, more screw ups by Michael, a HILARIOUS Stanley, and a bet between Jim and Pam. by angryhaiku. She does a terrific job of making a readable fic that feels like an episode, with the talking heads and so forth. Great fic.
• Because I am not ashamed to self-pimp, I wrote a Scrubs fic, gen, ensemble, but in JD's POV involving made-up holidays. Knife-wrench is never NOT going to be funny. Neither are double negatives never not. Ha.

*this is the FIRST ficathon I've participated in where the requester actually commented to the fic written for them. So, it's now my favorite ficathon EVER. Plus the whole high quality fic thing.

Comments

[brandil.livejournal.com]

Ah ha ha ha. I laugh at your pain. See me? I'm laughing at. your. pain. Actually I'm cringing at your pain and letting that first paragraph be inspiration to send ME to the gym for the FIRST time since September. yeah, that's right. I am deeply ashamed. I'm not even going to pretend like my reasons were good, I know they weren't - just excuses.

And tomorrow? YOU can laugh at MY pain because if I weren't such a fucking lazy-ass one day in the gym would NOT hurt.

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

*totally points and mocks EARLY, because I feel like being ugly*

Except I don't. And I don't want you to be owie, because OW! OW! STRETCH. Mmmm, stretching is good.

NOW GET YOUR LAZY ASS TO THE GYM. :)

[julia-here.livejournal.com]

Achilles tendon pain is the pits, and you're entitled to feel angry and emo about it. Did your medical pro at least refer you to a physical therapist so that you don't have all your fitness gains go blooey while your healing?

Also, I don't know if scribll is on your list, but you've got to see the garden pics in this post (http://scribll.livejournal.com/41196.html?view=32748&style=mine). Especially, what is the small tree-large shrub with the pink flowers? It looks just like Incarnevilla (sp may be fucked, Monday, rain, et'c does nothing for my botanical latin) but that's absurd. She's in your neighborhood, not mine.

Julia, hate it when my omniscience falls through

[brandil.livejournal.com]

Dude be as ugly as you want I totally deserve it.

I'm hoping I can keep it down to the good owie, or that I won't be owie at all 'cause one little step class shouldn't make me owie. Except I may stay for Yoga and that can totally cause the owies to happen.

I wish I hadn't spent the past several months doing all that I can to sabotage myself health-wise. Funnily enough, I've lost some weight and have been told by several people how much better I look. Not much in the way of encouraging me to do better, is it?

Lazy ass, gym. Check.

[moosesal.livejournal.com]

Would you feel better doing things like curls with hand weights or sit ups or other things that don't require use of the legs or standing? So that you at least know you're still doing something for your body? I was crazy with the upper body and abs stuff when my knee was immobilized after a ski injury a few years ago. I waffle in wanting to work out, wanting to just be a slug. But when I can't do something it's suddenly all I want.

You need a wheelchair, then you wheel the kids to school. *g*

[moosesal.livejournal.com]

I'm with Stoney. Get your ass to the gym, girlie.

[harmonyfb.livejournal.com]

Did you ask your doc if you can swim? Hmm. You could always have lots of sex - that's a nice workout that doesn't usually involves the achilles tendon. Plus, you know, fun. ;)

[fishsanwitt]

I'm afeard to leave a comment. Hee.

::pets you::

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

Afeard? As long as you aren't going to tell me it's okay to be lazy (because it's NOT, zomg) then there is no fear! Plus, look at all the fics! YAY FICS!

[ladycat777.livejournal.com]

I have been where you are and it sucks every fucking time. I mean, not only am I not getting my stress-relief and hormone-balancing exercise, but now I'm emo and wanky about it, and it all just kind of snowballs from there.

Stupid life.

*wraps your ankle tenderly*

Laughter, however, is the very very best cure :D

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

If I had access to an indoor pool, that would be IDEAL. But clearly, you win for the best suggestion: sex.

Now. I just need to convince my husband who travels all week that it's THERAPUTIC FOR ME to boink the hot college kid down the street. It's THERAPY. :D

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

Upper body: GO. Also, yoga. I have an elliptical treadmill in the house (that drives me nuts because I've moved past its usability. OR HAVE I?)

Okay, THIS is the type of suggestion I need. How ELSE to use my body, not license to be sedentary, because NO. (You know what I mean with that, right? I don't need my subconscious thinking it's okay. That way lies fatness.)

[wickedgrdn.livejournal.com]

I think laughter is the best medicine for anything...even exercise woes. :) And that's all I'm going to say for fear of that pink and grey New Balance getting shoved where the sun don't shine! :) *slinks away*

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

No, she's not, but I was DROOLING over those pics. My god, what a BEAUTIFUL garden. And to me, it looks like a tree form Weigela, which blooms summer through freeze, and has similar flowers and leaf forms? They top out about 10-12 feet, so that would make that one in the pic about full size.

And I've got to schedule an appointment with a PT. Although, I have this sinking feeling I'm paying someone to tell me stuff I already know. (I'm curmudgeony like that when it comes to doctors.)

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

Well, you may be thinner, but you don't have as much muscle as you should! (How's that? Helping?) It's like a clay statue: you have to add clay to shape and mold. Get some muscles on yer bod! (Plus, strong thighs mean better sex.)

And grab a box of Epsom salts before you go work out. Put two cups in a hot tub for when you get done working out and thank me in the morning. (Says she of the osteo-arthritis riddled body)

<3

[brandil.livejournal.com]

I know, I KNOW.

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

LAUGHTER IS SO THE BEST CURE. And what I'm hearing back from sports medicine folks, all of the traditional tendonitis strengthening exercises (standing on a stair, gently stretching) only helps in ONE matter. It doesn't simulate the exercise, which means you're likely to injur yourself again. You just have to grit your teeth and push through the pain after a period of healing. Which, okay, I can do.

IT JUST SUCKS. Thank god for funny fic. (Which seriously: check out some of those fics. You'd like the annakovsky fic, if you know anything about M*A*S*H. Achy ouchie and wonderful.)

[brandil.livejournal.com]

I can't take baths, I get all urinary tract infecty - but thanks for the tip! I keep wishing they'd come up with something like that for showers but no such luck yet.

My muscle tone is GONE. It's all skin and flab YUCK ::shudders:: The internet boyfriend will be here in two weeks and I must get SOME tone back between now and then.

I need you and Sally riding my ass like a LOT

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

Hahahaha, I WILL NOT GIVE YOU THE BOOT. Shoe. You know what I mean. I just hate when people try to be well meaning, but undermine the hard work. The "it's okay to slack!" mindset isn't helpful for me at all. I'm proactive! A go-getter! A mover and a shaker! Or something.

Heee! OH MY GOD I WANT TO SNURGLE WITH YOUR ICON, EEEEEEE!

[moosesal.livejournal.com]

I totally understand and that's why I'm urging upper body if nothing else. Because at least that keeps you doing something and keeps your mind and body in some sort of routine. And then when you're able to walk/run again you'll still be in that mindset. Plus even just ten minutes a day of strength/resistance will help with the 'that way lies fatness' issue. :)

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

Oh, no baths, check. BUT. you can fill it up, sit on the side, and soak your shins, your feet/ankles, and part of your thighs! I can't stress enough how much that stuff really works. I'm a big fan of Tiger Balm, too. Oooooooh, it burns, but GOD does it work.

My fave for a sore ass? Get a tennis ball, slather Tiger Balm on your cheeks, and sit on the ball and roll around. It's a deep tissue massage that really works. Ungh.

(Can you do walking lunges? Those are the FASTEST way to tone up your thighs.) Strong thighs for internet boyfriend = AWESOME VISIT, omg.

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

See, you know what I meant there. I get that a lot of people on my flist aren't overly active people, which is fine for them. Really really.

But it's not for me. Exercise makes my head work right. It makes me happy. It keeps me sane. And I'm going to go hit that elliptical in my mule tennies to get some cardiovascular, then the yoga mat is going to just be out for the week to make me stretch/tone everytime I see it.

YOU RULE.

[brandil.livejournal.com]

You know what? I am so stupid I never even thought of soaking the parts of me that CAN get in the tub. ::head desk::

Tiger Balm is my friend as well - I wish it came in bigger containers, or that the bigger containers were sold where I could get to them easily.

Yes, yes, I can do walking lunges but I hate them more than anything on earth but boot strappers ::cringes in remembered pain::

It is time for me to get the hell over whatever issue it is that I have, spank my inner moppet and get back to being healthy.

Strong thighs for internet boyfriend = AWESOME VISIT, omg.

OMG blushes!

[brandil.livejournal.com]

Exercise makes my head work right. It makes me happy. It keeps me sane.

It used to do that for me but then I went and cheated on it and it left me. Or I left it. I'm going to attempt a reconcilliation today, but I imagine we'll be off to rough and rocky start.

[wickedgrdn.livejournal.com]

I figure, what's the point of placating someone who obviously doesn't want to be placated, right? And you sound like the type that doesn't like any coddling of any sort...like you said you're a mover and a shaker. I can get behind that. :)

And my icon is depicting my mood for the day. I'd rather catnap than go to work, LOL. Take care, hon!