SO BLUE. And so I rec. And pimp.

[stoney321]

I am a TOOL. Just, heads up. So I just had a crying session (complete with trembly pout! Go me!) because I can't exercise. My STOOPID fugging Achilles is a red-hot fire poker in my leg as soon as I put on shoes with a back. I have slip on "running shoes" which is to say, I have mules by New Balance that make it easy for me to hit the grocery store. Exercise in them? Riiiiiiight. All of that strength I built up, all of the toning and POWER I felt from working out is just pffffft. Gone. IT COULD BE SIX WEEKS TO RECOVER. BAH.

Wah, wah, some people have no legs, I know. But GOD DAMN. Exercise is my therapy. How I get my day started right. It's as important as my cup of coffee and newspaper, and I'm nothing if not a creature of habit. And it HURTS. (My foot, not my wanky crybaby soul. Ha ha.) I tried to just walk the kids to school, like I do EVERY DAY and I couldn't. FUCK. I feel like I'm letting my kids down by changing the schedule - that's how I make sure THEY have a good day, too. Walk to school, talk about our day, etc. It's how I encourage them to move and be healthy, too. WAAAAH. God, I'm embarrassing myself.

(Swear to god, the first person that says "take a break! You deserve it!" or "but you just did that huge walk, you're fine" is getting a lame New Balance 485 in stylish grey and pink up their kiester.) I"M LIKE BUFFY IN THE HOSPITAL, TRYING TO SAVE PEOPLE BUT UNABLE. Ahahaha. Ha ha. Okay, laughing at myself is good. but I totally am like her. Hee hee!

[ETA!] Have just tested out the elliptical treadmill, and it's a GO. Which is very gratifying. But I like being outside. But I'm being a WHINER McBitcherson, which means I should shaddup. Yay, Nordictrack!


And I just got the arthritis cream the doc gave me in my EYE OH MY GOD OW OWOWOW. You know what this calls for? LAUGHING. Lots and lots of laughing. And good fic! GOOD THING I KNOW WHERE SOME IS. This ficathon* I joined has turned out some FANTASTIC FIC. Like sitcoms like Newsradio? Scrubs? Friends? Sports Night? Kitchen Confidential? The Office? How about HITCHKIKER'S GUIDE TO THE GALAXY, people?? So much goodness. I read almost all of the fics this weekend. There were a few that had crappy formatting, and I just couldn't do it. I don't care if it's the Holy Grail of fic, if it's a solid block of letters, I won't read it. The masterlist is here, and these are the ones I thought were especially awesome:

(there are no Sports Night fics listed, because I never watched the show, but they appear to be well received. Check the masterlist for those fics.)

• The Office, Jim/Ryan and before you reel back, it's AWESOME. It's completely plausible, and the voices are perfect. sophia_helix is one of the best writers in that fandom.
• Early Newsradio, when Matthew starts working and Bill (Phil Hartman) makes him his bitch. But not like that. autumn_grunge
• ONE OF THE BEST. Arrested Development meets Newsradio. Oh holy crap, this is such a great idea, and I don't DO crossovers. Jimmy James. Michael Bluth. GOD oh my god GOB. iamsab who is one of the co-mods for the 'thon.
• The Office, Jim/Pam. A retelling of Casino Night, but not like you think. Much more in line with the show's achy feel, instead of a "fix it" fic. And it's very good. by lavenderlola
• Not funny, but absolute excellence. Post-Korea M*A*S*H, Hawkeye and Peg (BJ's wife). annakovsky knows these characters like family.
• swmbo wrote a cute and painful (because Ryan/Kelly is funny but AWFUL, which makes it funnier) ficlet that includes a dirty fish. And American Idol. Haha.
• Another Office/Arrested Development crossover. Maeby and Michael. Pam and Jim. ANOTHER ONE OF THE VERY BEST. by roz_mclure (in script format, which I actually prefer.)
• Again, another AD crossover with The Office and holy crap, she KNOWS GOB BLUTH. That may be the best Gob I've read. Gob/Kelly Kapoor. I howled reading this. by kyrafic, another of the co-mods.
• Short AD fic, post series. Michael/Lindsay and I loved the images this made. I could see it. Plus, bonus for being short and tightly written, and including the staircar. by sloganeer
• The Office, more screw ups by Michael, a HILARIOUS Stanley, and a bet between Jim and Pam. by angryhaiku. She does a terrific job of making a readable fic that feels like an episode, with the talking heads and so forth. Great fic.
• Because I am not ashamed to self-pimp, I wrote a Scrubs fic, gen, ensemble, but in JD's POV involving made-up holidays. Knife-wrench is never NOT going to be funny. Neither are double negatives never not. Ha.

*this is the FIRST ficathon I've participated in where the requester actually commented to the fic written for them. So, it's now my favorite ficathon EVER. Plus the whole high quality fic thing.

Comments

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

Well, you may be thinner, but you don't have as much muscle as you should! (How's that? Helping?) It's like a clay statue: you have to add clay to shape and mold. Get some muscles on yer bod! (Plus, strong thighs mean better sex.)

And grab a box of Epsom salts before you go work out. Put two cups in a hot tub for when you get done working out and thank me in the morning. (Says she of the osteo-arthritis riddled body)

<3

[brandil.livejournal.com]

I can't take baths, I get all urinary tract infecty - but thanks for the tip! I keep wishing they'd come up with something like that for showers but no such luck yet.

My muscle tone is GONE. It's all skin and flab YUCK ::shudders:: The internet boyfriend will be here in two weeks and I must get SOME tone back between now and then.

I need you and Sally riding my ass like a LOT

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

Oh, no baths, check. BUT. you can fill it up, sit on the side, and soak your shins, your feet/ankles, and part of your thighs! I can't stress enough how much that stuff really works. I'm a big fan of Tiger Balm, too. Oooooooh, it burns, but GOD does it work.

My fave for a sore ass? Get a tennis ball, slather Tiger Balm on your cheeks, and sit on the ball and roll around. It's a deep tissue massage that really works. Ungh.

(Can you do walking lunges? Those are the FASTEST way to tone up your thighs.) Strong thighs for internet boyfriend = AWESOME VISIT, omg.

[brandil.livejournal.com]

You know what? I am so stupid I never even thought of soaking the parts of me that CAN get in the tub. ::head desk::

Tiger Balm is my friend as well - I wish it came in bigger containers, or that the bigger containers were sold where I could get to them easily.

Yes, yes, I can do walking lunges but I hate them more than anything on earth but boot strappers ::cringes in remembered pain::

It is time for me to get the hell over whatever issue it is that I have, spank my inner moppet and get back to being healthy.

Strong thighs for internet boyfriend = AWESOME VISIT, omg.

OMG blushes!

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

Iin a pinch, Vicks Vaporub works, too, and it comes in Super Ginormous Tubs. :) (I'm also a fan of Bio Freeze.)

Walking lunges are one of the reason my knees are so bad, but for people without damaged joints, they are the BOMB. Here's something I used to tell myself when I would do a lap of lunges at the track: Linda Hamilton did MULTIPLE laps of walking lunges in preparation for Terminator 2, and she has the strongest body I've ever seen in that movie. Good lord.

I'm just saying: comfy chair, him sitting on it, you straddling him. That requires a tight ass and strong thighs. And you should ask him to get a physical before showing up. Heh.

[brandil.livejournal.com]

i LOVE Biofreeze, but I only like it when it comes in individual packets, that roll on stuff doesn't have the kick to it as those others. I haven't tried it in any other form, maybe it's the roll on that's defective.

I'm just saying: comfy chair, him sitting on it, you straddling him. That requires a tight ass and strong thighs. And you should ask him to get a physical before showing up. Heh.

You say that like I'm going to put out. Don't you know I'm not a slut anymore? \o/ Not that getting laid for the first time in five years is slutty, but I'd hate to give it up, start wanting/craving it all the time and not have anyone on this coast that I want to fuck. Just sayin.

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

I've only used it in the individual packets, too, so I can't say. I CAN'T SAY.

And okay. I KNOW ABOUT NEEDING IT AND NOT BEING ABLE TO HAVE IT RIGHT THEN. (Hello, husband travels every week, ahem.) BUT. But. Should you change your mind. How cool to have defined quads for him to run his hands up and OKAY, STOPPING NOW. :D

[luthor-kinney.livejournal.com]

OK.

You fucking win.

I'll be a good little boy scout and Be Prepared. I'd already planned on stocking up on lots of condoms, just in case - so what's a little quad work too?

8-)

[luthor-kinney.livejournal.com]

Dude that Luthor_Kinney bitch is totally that Brandil bitch - she just forgot that she wasn't signed in in the right journal and all that shit.

Tres Confusing