SO BLUE. And so I rec. And pimp.

[stoney321]

I am a TOOL. Just, heads up. So I just had a crying session (complete with trembly pout! Go me!) because I can't exercise. My STOOPID fugging Achilles is a red-hot fire poker in my leg as soon as I put on shoes with a back. I have slip on "running shoes" which is to say, I have mules by New Balance that make it easy for me to hit the grocery store. Exercise in them? Riiiiiiight. All of that strength I built up, all of the toning and POWER I felt from working out is just pffffft. Gone. IT COULD BE SIX WEEKS TO RECOVER. BAH.

Wah, wah, some people have no legs, I know. But GOD DAMN. Exercise is my therapy. How I get my day started right. It's as important as my cup of coffee and newspaper, and I'm nothing if not a creature of habit. And it HURTS. (My foot, not my wanky crybaby soul. Ha ha.) I tried to just walk the kids to school, like I do EVERY DAY and I couldn't. FUCK. I feel like I'm letting my kids down by changing the schedule - that's how I make sure THEY have a good day, too. Walk to school, talk about our day, etc. It's how I encourage them to move and be healthy, too. WAAAAH. God, I'm embarrassing myself.

(Swear to god, the first person that says "take a break! You deserve it!" or "but you just did that huge walk, you're fine" is getting a lame New Balance 485 in stylish grey and pink up their kiester.) I"M LIKE BUFFY IN THE HOSPITAL, TRYING TO SAVE PEOPLE BUT UNABLE. Ahahaha. Ha ha. Okay, laughing at myself is good. but I totally am like her. Hee hee!

[ETA!] Have just tested out the elliptical treadmill, and it's a GO. Which is very gratifying. But I like being outside. But I'm being a WHINER McBitcherson, which means I should shaddup. Yay, Nordictrack!


And I just got the arthritis cream the doc gave me in my EYE OH MY GOD OW OWOWOW. You know what this calls for? LAUGHING. Lots and lots of laughing. And good fic! GOOD THING I KNOW WHERE SOME IS. This ficathon* I joined has turned out some FANTASTIC FIC. Like sitcoms like Newsradio? Scrubs? Friends? Sports Night? Kitchen Confidential? The Office? How about HITCHKIKER'S GUIDE TO THE GALAXY, people?? So much goodness. I read almost all of the fics this weekend. There were a few that had crappy formatting, and I just couldn't do it. I don't care if it's the Holy Grail of fic, if it's a solid block of letters, I won't read it. The masterlist is here, and these are the ones I thought were especially awesome:

(there are no Sports Night fics listed, because I never watched the show, but they appear to be well received. Check the masterlist for those fics.)

• The Office, Jim/Ryan and before you reel back, it's AWESOME. It's completely plausible, and the voices are perfect. sophia_helix is one of the best writers in that fandom.
• Early Newsradio, when Matthew starts working and Bill (Phil Hartman) makes him his bitch. But not like that. autumn_grunge
• ONE OF THE BEST. Arrested Development meets Newsradio. Oh holy crap, this is such a great idea, and I don't DO crossovers. Jimmy James. Michael Bluth. GOD oh my god GOB. iamsab who is one of the co-mods for the 'thon.
• The Office, Jim/Pam. A retelling of Casino Night, but not like you think. Much more in line with the show's achy feel, instead of a "fix it" fic. And it's very good. by lavenderlola
• Not funny, but absolute excellence. Post-Korea M*A*S*H, Hawkeye and Peg (BJ's wife). annakovsky knows these characters like family.
• swmbo wrote a cute and painful (because Ryan/Kelly is funny but AWFUL, which makes it funnier) ficlet that includes a dirty fish. And American Idol. Haha.
• Another Office/Arrested Development crossover. Maeby and Michael. Pam and Jim. ANOTHER ONE OF THE VERY BEST. by roz_mclure (in script format, which I actually prefer.)
• Again, another AD crossover with The Office and holy crap, she KNOWS GOB BLUTH. That may be the best Gob I've read. Gob/Kelly Kapoor. I howled reading this. by kyrafic, another of the co-mods.
• Short AD fic, post series. Michael/Lindsay and I loved the images this made. I could see it. Plus, bonus for being short and tightly written, and including the staircar. by sloganeer
• The Office, more screw ups by Michael, a HILARIOUS Stanley, and a bet between Jim and Pam. by angryhaiku. She does a terrific job of making a readable fic that feels like an episode, with the talking heads and so forth. Great fic.
• Because I am not ashamed to self-pimp, I wrote a Scrubs fic, gen, ensemble, but in JD's POV involving made-up holidays. Knife-wrench is never NOT going to be funny. Neither are double negatives never not. Ha.

*this is the FIRST ficathon I've participated in where the requester actually commented to the fic written for them. So, it's now my favorite ficathon EVER. Plus the whole high quality fic thing.

Comments

[brandil.livejournal.com]

Ah ha ha ha. I laugh at your pain. See me? I'm laughing at. your. pain. Actually I'm cringing at your pain and letting that first paragraph be inspiration to send ME to the gym for the FIRST time since September. yeah, that's right. I am deeply ashamed. I'm not even going to pretend like my reasons were good, I know they weren't - just excuses.

And tomorrow? YOU can laugh at MY pain because if I weren't such a fucking lazy-ass one day in the gym would NOT hurt.

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

*totally points and mocks EARLY, because I feel like being ugly*

Except I don't. And I don't want you to be owie, because OW! OW! STRETCH. Mmmm, stretching is good.

NOW GET YOUR LAZY ASS TO THE GYM. :)

[moosesal.livejournal.com]

I'm with Stoney. Get your ass to the gym, girlie.

[julia-here.livejournal.com]

Achilles tendon pain is the pits, and you're entitled to feel angry and emo about it. Did your medical pro at least refer you to a physical therapist so that you don't have all your fitness gains go blooey while your healing?

Also, I don't know if scribll is on your list, but you've got to see the garden pics in this post (http://scribll.livejournal.com/41196.html?view=32748&style=mine). Especially, what is the small tree-large shrub with the pink flowers? It looks just like Incarnevilla (sp may be fucked, Monday, rain, et'c does nothing for my botanical latin) but that's absurd. She's in your neighborhood, not mine.

Julia, hate it when my omniscience falls through

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

No, she's not, but I was DROOLING over those pics. My god, what a BEAUTIFUL garden. And to me, it looks like a tree form Weigela, which blooms summer through freeze, and has similar flowers and leaf forms? They top out about 10-12 feet, so that would make that one in the pic about full size.

And I've got to schedule an appointment with a PT. Although, I have this sinking feeling I'm paying someone to tell me stuff I already know. (I'm curmudgeony like that when it comes to doctors.)

[moosesal.livejournal.com]

Would you feel better doing things like curls with hand weights or sit ups or other things that don't require use of the legs or standing? So that you at least know you're still doing something for your body? I was crazy with the upper body and abs stuff when my knee was immobilized after a ski injury a few years ago. I waffle in wanting to work out, wanting to just be a slug. But when I can't do something it's suddenly all I want.

You need a wheelchair, then you wheel the kids to school. *g*

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

Upper body: GO. Also, yoga. I have an elliptical treadmill in the house (that drives me nuts because I've moved past its usability. OR HAVE I?)

Okay, THIS is the type of suggestion I need. How ELSE to use my body, not license to be sedentary, because NO. (You know what I mean with that, right? I don't need my subconscious thinking it's okay. That way lies fatness.)

[harmonyfb.livejournal.com]

Did you ask your doc if you can swim? Hmm. You could always have lots of sex - that's a nice workout that doesn't usually involves the achilles tendon. Plus, you know, fun. ;)

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

If I had access to an indoor pool, that would be IDEAL. But clearly, you win for the best suggestion: sex.

Now. I just need to convince my husband who travels all week that it's THERAPUTIC FOR ME to boink the hot college kid down the street. It's THERAPY. :D

[fishsanwitt]

I'm afeard to leave a comment. Hee.

::pets you::

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

Afeard? As long as you aren't going to tell me it's okay to be lazy (because it's NOT, zomg) then there is no fear! Plus, look at all the fics! YAY FICS!

[ladycat777.livejournal.com]

I have been where you are and it sucks every fucking time. I mean, not only am I not getting my stress-relief and hormone-balancing exercise, but now I'm emo and wanky about it, and it all just kind of snowballs from there.

Stupid life.

*wraps your ankle tenderly*

Laughter, however, is the very very best cure :D

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

LAUGHTER IS SO THE BEST CURE. And what I'm hearing back from sports medicine folks, all of the traditional tendonitis strengthening exercises (standing on a stair, gently stretching) only helps in ONE matter. It doesn't simulate the exercise, which means you're likely to injur yourself again. You just have to grit your teeth and push through the pain after a period of healing. Which, okay, I can do.

IT JUST SUCKS. Thank god for funny fic. (Which seriously: check out some of those fics. You'd like the annakovsky fic, if you know anything about M*A*S*H. Achy ouchie and wonderful.)

[wickedgrdn.livejournal.com]

I think laughter is the best medicine for anything...even exercise woes. :) And that's all I'm going to say for fear of that pink and grey New Balance getting shoved where the sun don't shine! :) *slinks away*

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

Hahahaha, I WILL NOT GIVE YOU THE BOOT. Shoe. You know what I mean. I just hate when people try to be well meaning, but undermine the hard work. The "it's okay to slack!" mindset isn't helpful for me at all. I'm proactive! A go-getter! A mover and a shaker! Or something.

Heee! OH MY GOD I WANT TO SNURGLE WITH YOUR ICON, EEEEEEE!

[fiveandfour.livejournal.com]

I just started working out again a couple of weeks ago and I'm almost to that stage where exercise is the kind of necessity you're talking about. When I'm in that place and can't exercise I always feel like there's something just below the surface of my skin DRIVING ME CRAZY that I can't do anything about.

Anyway...a client of mine is at the tail end of recovering from the very same thing with his Achilles and he turned to exercise that concentrates on the upper section of the body (rowing and whatnot) as a "better than nothing" substitute. Hope you can find something that'll work for you.

And MY GOD that's a lot of recs. I'll have to come back to check them out after I've done my civic duty and finished reading my state's 100 page voter's pamphlet then swirled my pencil in the air and randomly stabbed at some yes/no/I dunno selections. (I joke. Maybe. Half the time I think a group of monkeys could do about as well as the general public when it comes to voting.)

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

HAHAHA! you are probably right when it comes to the voting public!

And I've uncovered my elliptical, and it seems to not be making me hurt, so YAY. And really, I love that feeling of anticipating sweating. It's so satisfactory to be done with a workout and be a little tired and blown out, then feel that surge of energy afterwards. I LIVE for that. *cheers you on with your own workout, yay cakes!*

As for the recs: seriously. There are some FANTASTIC fics out there!

[floweringjudas.livejournal.com]

Hand weights (http://www.lays.com)! Sweatin to the Oldies (http://www.littledebbie.com/products/SwissCake.asp)! Calisthenics (http://www.bbc.co.uk/health/images/300/sleep.jpg)! Yoga (http://www.elmatecreativos.com/images/comerciales-television-spot.jpg)! YOU CAN DO IT (http://barslecht.nl/projecten/mcdonalds/img/bigmac)!


....*runs away*

(no, srsly, YOU CAN DO IT!)

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

Hahahahaha! SWEATING TO THE OLDIES, no you di'int!! But I just got off my elliptical treadmill after 20 minutes, and my ankle's fine, so I've got that! It's not as good as being outside, but it's better than NOTHING, YAY!!

*yogas your ass*

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

You know what is awesome? Everything in the world EXCEPT FOR YOU.

And I totally WOULD NOT CRY. I wouldn't. Now go read some of those stories, because they are VERY GOOD. (Especially any of the AD fics. GOod god, I was laughing out loud. I Elle, Oh Elle'd, Beth.)

Go get me some lunch, loser. *cries*

[slasheuse.livejournal.com]

OMG, I was worrying about you earlier, for clearly three days of silence means END OF WORLD. Poor Stoney with the Achilles tendon. Shall I bore you with Achilles tendon stories? O YES. Okay, for some reason, actors are disproportionately prone to effing up their Achilles tendons - worse than dancers, even. One of my favourite stage actors is Antony Sher, and in the 80s he played Lear's Fool at the RSC, and his Achilles tendon snapped ON STAGE. For no reason - he literally just took a step and felt something Not Work in the back of his ankle/leg. Michael Gambon (who was playing Lear!) had to carry him offstage! From the pain! And he totally passed out and cried in the green room surrounded by the dozen or so theatrical luminaries who made up the cast! Possibly he cried and passed out, that would be a more sensible order.

Anyway, yes. *hugshugshugs*

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

HAHAHAHA, omg I am such a rambler, huh? MEEP.

Oh GOD the Achilles snapping is the worst thing EVER. It flaps up inside your leg like an old fashioned blind and OWOWOWOW. That's a HORRENDOUS injury.

I'm running on my elliptical treadmill indoors, which isn't ideal (I get bored, and reading books is hard on it) but better than being idle, which I cannot deal with. Because I clearly am a SPAZZ. (and omg, you make the cutest drunk posts EVER. Heeee! <3)

[viciouswishes.livejournal.com]

*hugs* I fucked up my ankle again (the ankle and I have a long history of hating each other) and the weather's trying to recreate Noah's Ark currently, so I am also going through working out withdrawals. I will cry emo tears with you because I'm too cheap to go to the gym.

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

Ack, ankles!! I have a history of rolling mine, which is why I do all the strength training exercises, which is why I'm SERIOUSLY PISSED that I'm injured at all, because HUH? *shakes fist at WORLD*

And I'm with you on the gym. I can get my exercise outdoors, yo! Or... could. Wah.

*slips ankle brace on you*

[crazydiamondsue.livejournal.com]

*bathes you in the river Styx*

Well, it's not my fault your injury keeps bringing up all of my mythological references!

That sucks. I cannot imagine you stationary. (Unless it involves a jar of black bean dip and a "Squidbillies" marathon, but hey - that's afternoon doin's!)

I am at the south office all week (yay!) the computer has crashed 3 times due to construction (boo!) I brought the "Supernatural" DVDs Winter gave me to watch at Writercon (yay!) but the antiquated Media Player at the SOB (South Office Branch - heh) won't play them (NOOOOOOOO!) This send me for quite the lu-lu, until I realized I was suffering from P.M.S. by discovering the pre had become active. Meh.

No call? No return email? Loser. You think you're so cool with your...blisters...and your...hobble. HOBBLER! (I keep thinking of your manatee/shark icon. "Let's be friends!" "NO!" Heh.)

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

GO TO VIDEOLAN.ORG AND GET THE VLC MEDIA PLAYER, STAT! I have to say, I like SPN, but I laugh everytime I hear Jensen speak, because he is purposely lowering his voice and that makes me giggle. Also, it can be very very scary, yay!

Call? I didn't see you called! As for email, I TOTALLY GOT ALL EMO over your comment and COULDN'T RESPOND. Then I felt like a dork for saying anything at all, because HELLO WHINEY MCWHINERSON (me) and I should get the world's tallest ladder to get get over myself.

I'm reading up on a process that STOPS PERIODS ALL TOGETHER, and I think it may be the greatest gift to womanhood EVER. Will email with deets.

What's for lunch? How you like 'at mess?

[lynnenne]

OWIE OWIE OW! I hope you get all better soon, sweetie! *smooshes you*

Also, I wrote fic. Parts of it are funny. I think. It's over here.

[leila82.livejournal.com]

Ick, I'm sorry to hear about your Achilles :( I was going to suggest you could do weights, but since you can do the elliptical, I guess you have some options, so all is not lost?

[xochitl42.livejournal.com]

Argh! Shot Achilles=interminable pain and irritation. It's like having a sore butt. It's a part that's in nigh constant use.

When I had foot surgery, I worked out as best I could with that upper body thing. I'd curl my stupid crutches. I'd do those push-ups (girly style, I'm not that good) where you put one foot over the other--you can nurse your naughty foot that way. Sit in a good chair and throw punches like a boxing exercise. Do it for two minutes straight, or shadow-box. Might get some of that stress out.

Auugh! Sympathy. The body is very much like an appliance in things like this. As soon as the big thing's over, everything starts to fall apart.

Okay, maybe the warranty simile's not so good. But I tried, I tell you! I tried!

Pull up a warm cat and feel better, okay? [[[hugs]]]

[cherusha.livejournal.com]

*high fives*

I've not exercised for weeks due to my hunting looking into things. LET US BOND.




Achilles must die.