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stoney321I love life. I love stupid people, weirdos, and the like. It makes me seem so smart and normal in comparison.
I got a last minute call by the Master Gardener association to give a presentation to a convention today at THE MESQUITE RODEO. If you know nothing of Texas, know this: that is the epicenter of all cheesy Texana. The pro shop outdoors is "Gay's Pro Rodeo Shop." (hee hee!) Next door is the Trail Dust, where they tackle you and cut your tie off (should you be foolish to wear one), nail it to the wall and then ring a big dinner bell. And the whole arena is sponsored by Resistol Cowboy hats and Justin boots. 'Cause everyone needs a pair of steel-toed Llama boots. (??)
I'll just say right now that I was not needed. As a female, and a young one at that, and a relatively stacked young female, I served no purpose. The Shitkickers there (big difference between a Cowboy and a Shitkicker.) looked at me like I was there to fetch them a "cobeer," the salesmen of the landscaping products booths knew I wasn't there to fill up my "flower shop," and the rest was filled with "Natural Gardeners" who were so out of place, I can't even begin.
Let me tell you what I think about Natural Gardening. This is a selling gimmick. Your plants don't care where their nitrogen comes from. Just because someone dug something out of the ground doesn't make it inherently better than a chemical made in a lab. Example? Sure thing! Rotenone is a "natural" product made from chrysanthemums. It has an LD50 so low, that you can die from breathing its fumes. Now, you can breathe Malathion and not die. You may get a headache, but you'll live to see another day. Guess which costs more? And guess which gets a bad rap? Plutonium comes from "Mother Earth." So does opium and uranium. And stupid people. The earth produces the worst thing on the planet: Bush supporters. Hee hee!!
There was a lady who I was getting along famously with about using smarts when it comes to gardening. (Meaning, don't just nuke your lawn, use compost, etc.) I had to stretch my legs (I have TERRIBLE arthritis) and she noticed. "You should take a teaspoon of tumeric to fix those knees of yours." Well, I certainly appreciate your concern, and I wish I could do something so simple, but I have to have total knee replacement soon. "No you do not! If you would just TRY the tumeric, you'd be amazed at how it works." She was truly huffing and puffing at this point. "Ma'am, all drugs and doctors aren't bad. You wanna try to have an appendectomy without anesthesia? Want the doctors to sterilize their scalpels with crushed garlic? Should we tell diabetics to hit the basil patch? Gimme a break."
So it was fun! Because I got to tell a story in LJ. Oh!! And the booth across from me had the most horrible display of Tchochkes ever! Statues with little girls in bonnets holding a picnic basket under one arm while clutching an American flag in the other. Or stepping stones shaped like 4 leaf clovers. And more statues of little "Huck Finns" clutching American flags and fishing poles. Classy stuff like that. Lots of fat bellies straining at the buttons on their American Flag shirts. A few cowboys were there, they were older folks and I enjoyed talking to them. We talked of 4-H and who grows the best tomatoes. But those conversations were few and far between.
In other glorious news, the best LJ friend in DAS VORLD sent me 2 (count 'em) CDs of excellent music. ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif){kind=small}
chantal87 is the bomb diggity!!! And crazydiamondsue and elcazavampiros are coming to see me! Woot!!!
In honor of the discussion brought up on Fer1213 's LJ, I bring you my jaw-dropping (or just brought me out of it) moments from Buffy.
6. The forced Angel kiss in End Of Days with Spike watching. It's the writers attempt to rile up the Spuffy fans, IMO.
5. Dawn's first kiss with that ugly Vamp Kid. She just looks like a bad kisser.
4. You don't have a ricer?? SMG is so horrible at the Lucy stuff. I love that episode, otherwise.
3. Get out get out GET OUT!! Who DOESN'T hate that moment?
2. Riley's first haircut. Ughh. Long bangs in a bowl cut?
1. Professor Walsh's shambling as a zombie. You can practically see the actress thinking "stumble shuffle, stumble shuffle."
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no subject
Date: 2004-09-21 01:56 pm (UTC)No, you are. I'm glad you like them. Are you totally grooving to Millie Jackson or what?
::loves millie::
no subject
Date: 2004-09-21 02:11 pm (UTC)**hugs you SOOO tight!!**
EWE RAWK!!
no subject
Date: 2004-09-21 02:21 pm (UTC):: facepalm ::
BTW: I'm jealous of you. That is all.
Hop on one leg under a full moon and you won't have cancer!
Date: 2004-09-21 02:27 pm (UTC)And what on earth could you be jealous of? My having to stand amongst the unwashed for four hours? Listening to "used car salesmen" talk about how their garlic tea will cure fire ants? or imported ladybugs will help? (Um, how do they know which is YOUR fence? What will keep them from flying off? People can be so dumb. Let's flush all our money down the toilet!!) Is that what you are jealous of? Or is it my lady-like thin ankles?
Re: Hop on one leg under a full moon and you won't have cancer!
Date: 2004-09-21 02:33 pm (UTC):: is seethingish ::
Re: Hop on one leg under a full moon and you won't have cancer!
Date: 2004-09-21 02:37 pm (UTC)Oh, heh heh, I was just joking. Ha ha.
*waves hand, a la Obi-Wan*
You don't need to have visitors. These aren't the LJ friends you were looking for...
Re: Hop on one leg under a full moon and you won't have cancer!
Date: 2004-09-21 02:46 pm (UTC)Oh, Caza...
Date: 2004-09-21 02:51 pm (UTC)You and Sue are coming to Dallas to hang out with me and Mr. Stoney and go to the state fair and drink of the margaritas. Your sheets will be turned down, mints will be on the pillows, and the beer fridge stocked. Yes, I said beer fridge. This is happening sometime in October.
I've never seen Star Wars
Date: 2004-09-21 02:51 pm (UTC):: knows you're lying ::
:: tries to put out the fire ::
Re: I've never seen Star Wars
Date: 2004-09-21 02:55 pm (UTC)Doesn't anyone want to laugh about bad Buffy moments???
*helps you put out fire, not sure why there is a fire*
Re: I've never seen Star Wars
Date: 2004-09-21 03:39 pm (UTC)As far as the Buffy stuff goes (now that my jealousy has minutely subsided)
5. I liked the Angel/Buffy kiss, forced or not it was anti-Spuffy and that gives me a happy.
5. I didn't really watch the Dawn kissage ep. Didn't keep my interest.
4. I agree and I have a ricer, they're useless.
3. Dawn. I have no words for Dawn until S7.
2. Riley's bad hair cut was a plot device, he cut the bad skater hair and was suddenly hot and authorative. It was necessary.
1. The shuffle-stumble was one thing, but the zombie talk, that was the real badness.
Re: I've never seen Star Wars
Date: 2004-09-21 04:11 pm (UTC)Zombie/Cyborg Walsh! Ha ha ha. Try putting THAT on your resume!
Re: I've never seen Star Wars
Date: 2004-09-21 09:18 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-09-21 03:00 pm (UTC)2. Yes, what's up with that?
3. Ewww. Dawn's screaching!!*!*!*!
4. Who has a ricer?
5. Ewww. Dawn kissing.
no subject
Date: 2004-09-21 03:01 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-09-21 03:21 pm (UTC)crazydiamondsue never brings me breakfast on a tray.
*mouth waters in anticipation*
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Date: 2004-09-21 03:42 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-09-21 04:12 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-09-21 03:44 pm (UTC)I can always count on you to make even gardening funny. All over the fair were signs that read, "Cold Beer" and I thought of you every time. Well, you as well as thinking, "As opposed to hot beer? This ain't the UK!"
Gardening IS funny. It should have its own reality show.
Date: 2004-09-21 04:16 pm (UTC)COBEER!!!! As American as clogged arteries...
no subject
Date: 2004-09-21 05:17 pm (UTC)And I agree, there are sometimes that alternative medicine works, but there are sometimes when the damage is so bad that you definitely need the doctors aid.
I've never heard of Tchochkes, so I learned something new today.
And my favorite quote: The earth produces the worst thing on the planet: Bush supporters. Hee hee!!
Right there with you, even if I don't get to vote in your country.
About the moments from Buffy:
6. I agree with you, no other reason but that to make us see that. Ewww!
5. Double Ewwww!
4. I don't have a ricer, but yeah SMG doesn't seem right for that type of stuff.
3. And I also hate having to read it as so many fanfic authors like to reprisse that not so glorious moment.
2. Is there something like a triple ewwww!?
1. *giggles* Yeah, now that you mention it, I think you're right.
*hugs*
Mari
no subject
Date: 2004-09-21 05:25 pm (UTC)Tchotchkes (chach keys) are another way of saying Knick Knacks, or Useless Crap You Bought To Put On A Shelf And Collect Dust On.
I'm still looking for the fungicide to take out Bushies. I'll keep you posted....
no subject
Date: 2004-09-21 05:23 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-09-21 05:29 pm (UTC)(BTW: a lot of the folks on my Flist are into the show Buffy The Vampire Slayer. 'Cause it's funny and smart and all that stuff. I've even convinced my husband to watch it.... That's what the list is about. Don't run away!!!)
no subject
Date: 2004-09-22 07:31 am (UTC)buffy badness
Date: 2004-09-21 09:03 pm (UTC)5. OK, I'm fond o' Dawn. Not ridiculously or anything, and that's not a great up. But I don't mind Dawn kissing. She's just not allowed to have sex.
4. I have Buffy blindness. I got it from Spike. Everything the girl does, I love.
3. See 5.
2. I also happen to have Riley blindness. But, OK, that hair was pretty stupid.
1. So we had a latenight makeup class at my friend's house, and after it was over, we started watching some S4. The prof had car trouble and came back in and saw Lindsey Crouse on the screen. He was like, "I know her! I had dinner with her when she was married to David Mamet!" I was trying to tell him about how she came back as a zombie, but he wasn't having any of it.
Re: buffy badness
Date: 2004-09-21 10:11 pm (UTC)I am uncomfortable watching kids kiss on screen, so it bugged me watching Dawn fish lip that boy.
And I just remembered something else that bugged me: the stupid "neckerchiefs" they threw around SMG's neck in Season 1. Who wore those?
Love the story about her being married to David Mamet. I had no idea! Hee hee! Zombie cyborgs!
Re: buffy badness
Date: 2004-09-21 10:23 pm (UTC)Discussions on a writer..
Date: 2004-09-21 10:29 pm (UTC)Next time you are watching Rear Window (in my all time top 10 list, BTW) notice how Hitchcock starts the movie. It's a play! The whole stage is set up like a play, the direction and action is executed like a play...
Wait. Crouse: bad as zombie. Sorry. Got a little off topic there. I could talk movies all night, believe me. "Glitter nail polish. Looks like town to me." Now ask me how that movie is on surface a Right-Wing propaganda film, but on the next layer is a left-wing movie. The secret hidden layer.
right wing left wing shuffle
Date: 2004-09-21 10:36 pm (UTC)also -- Mariska Hargitay? I'm now seriously disturbed. I first encountered MH when she was crybaby Cynthia on "ER." For some reason that I no longer remember, I started calling her "Farm Girl," and got everybody that I knew doing it. so when we would have that watercooler talk about "ER" that we did back in the day when anybody gave a shit about "ER," we would write emails called "The Farm Girl Report." (This was long before I knew Sue & Caza, so don't hold them responsible).
Re: right wing left wing shuffle
Date: 2004-09-21 10:39 pm (UTC)2. The left wing (or is it right wing?) movie is Silence of the Lambs, and glitter nail polish is Jodie Foster's line in the beginning that makes me laugh, even though I shouldn't laugh.
3. I think "The Farm Girl Report" is hee-larious.
bush supporters? BLECH!
Date: 2004-09-21 09:23 pm (UTC)i have a very morbid fascination with things like that. i look at them and wonder who the hell would buy that shit.
Lots of fat bellies straining at the buttons on their American Flag shirts.
i love the post-9/11 fashion trends. everybody's so uber-american.
Re: bush supporters? BLECH!
Date: 2004-09-21 10:13 pm (UTC)Such fun people watching!