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stoney321I love life. I love stupid people, weirdos, and the like. It makes me seem so smart and normal in comparison.
I got a last minute call by the Master Gardener association to give a presentation to a convention today at THE MESQUITE RODEO. If you know nothing of Texas, know this: that is the epicenter of all cheesy Texana. The pro shop outdoors is "Gay's Pro Rodeo Shop." (hee hee!) Next door is the Trail Dust, where they tackle you and cut your tie off (should you be foolish to wear one), nail it to the wall and then ring a big dinner bell. And the whole arena is sponsored by Resistol Cowboy hats and Justin boots. 'Cause everyone needs a pair of steel-toed Llama boots. (??)
I'll just say right now that I was not needed. As a female, and a young one at that, and a relatively stacked young female, I served no purpose. The Shitkickers there (big difference between a Cowboy and a Shitkicker.) looked at me like I was there to fetch them a "cobeer," the salesmen of the landscaping products booths knew I wasn't there to fill up my "flower shop," and the rest was filled with "Natural Gardeners" who were so out of place, I can't even begin.
Let me tell you what I think about Natural Gardening. This is a selling gimmick. Your plants don't care where their nitrogen comes from. Just because someone dug something out of the ground doesn't make it inherently better than a chemical made in a lab. Example? Sure thing! Rotenone is a "natural" product made from chrysanthemums. It has an LD50 so low, that you can die from breathing its fumes. Now, you can breathe Malathion and not die. You may get a headache, but you'll live to see another day. Guess which costs more? And guess which gets a bad rap? Plutonium comes from "Mother Earth." So does opium and uranium. And stupid people. The earth produces the worst thing on the planet: Bush supporters. Hee hee!!
There was a lady who I was getting along famously with about using smarts when it comes to gardening. (Meaning, don't just nuke your lawn, use compost, etc.) I had to stretch my legs (I have TERRIBLE arthritis) and she noticed. "You should take a teaspoon of tumeric to fix those knees of yours." Well, I certainly appreciate your concern, and I wish I could do something so simple, but I have to have total knee replacement soon. "No you do not! If you would just TRY the tumeric, you'd be amazed at how it works." She was truly huffing and puffing at this point. "Ma'am, all drugs and doctors aren't bad. You wanna try to have an appendectomy without anesthesia? Want the doctors to sterilize their scalpels with crushed garlic? Should we tell diabetics to hit the basil patch? Gimme a break."
So it was fun! Because I got to tell a story in LJ. Oh!! And the booth across from me had the most horrible display of Tchochkes ever! Statues with little girls in bonnets holding a picnic basket under one arm while clutching an American flag in the other. Or stepping stones shaped like 4 leaf clovers. And more statues of little "Huck Finns" clutching American flags and fishing poles. Classy stuff like that. Lots of fat bellies straining at the buttons on their American Flag shirts. A few cowboys were there, they were older folks and I enjoyed talking to them. We talked of 4-H and who grows the best tomatoes. But those conversations were few and far between.
In other glorious news, the best LJ friend in DAS VORLD sent me 2 (count 'em) CDs of excellent music. ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif){kind=small}
chantal87 is the bomb diggity!!! And crazydiamondsue and elcazavampiros are coming to see me! Woot!!!
In honor of the discussion brought up on Fer1213 's LJ, I bring you my jaw-dropping (or just brought me out of it) moments from Buffy.
6. The forced Angel kiss in End Of Days with Spike watching. It's the writers attempt to rile up the Spuffy fans, IMO.
5. Dawn's first kiss with that ugly Vamp Kid. She just looks like a bad kisser.
4. You don't have a ricer?? SMG is so horrible at the Lucy stuff. I love that episode, otherwise.
3. Get out get out GET OUT!! Who DOESN'T hate that moment?
2. Riley's first haircut. Ughh. Long bangs in a bowl cut?
1. Professor Walsh's shambling as a zombie. You can practically see the actress thinking "stumble shuffle, stumble shuffle."
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Hop on one leg under a full moon and you won't have cancer!
Date: 2004-09-21 02:27 pm (UTC)And what on earth could you be jealous of? My having to stand amongst the unwashed for four hours? Listening to "used car salesmen" talk about how their garlic tea will cure fire ants? or imported ladybugs will help? (Um, how do they know which is YOUR fence? What will keep them from flying off? People can be so dumb. Let's flush all our money down the toilet!!) Is that what you are jealous of? Or is it my lady-like thin ankles?
Re: Hop on one leg under a full moon and you won't have cancer!
Date: 2004-09-21 02:33 pm (UTC):: is seethingish ::
Re: Hop on one leg under a full moon and you won't have cancer!
Date: 2004-09-21 02:37 pm (UTC)Oh, heh heh, I was just joking. Ha ha.
*waves hand, a la Obi-Wan*
You don't need to have visitors. These aren't the LJ friends you were looking for...
Re: Hop on one leg under a full moon and you won't have cancer!
Date: 2004-09-21 02:46 pm (UTC)Oh, Caza...
Date: 2004-09-21 02:51 pm (UTC)You and Sue are coming to Dallas to hang out with me and Mr. Stoney and go to the state fair and drink of the margaritas. Your sheets will be turned down, mints will be on the pillows, and the beer fridge stocked. Yes, I said beer fridge. This is happening sometime in October.
I've never seen Star Wars
Date: 2004-09-21 02:51 pm (UTC):: knows you're lying ::
:: tries to put out the fire ::
Re: I've never seen Star Wars
Date: 2004-09-21 02:55 pm (UTC)Doesn't anyone want to laugh about bad Buffy moments???
*helps you put out fire, not sure why there is a fire*
Re: I've never seen Star Wars
Date: 2004-09-21 03:39 pm (UTC)As far as the Buffy stuff goes (now that my jealousy has minutely subsided)
5. I liked the Angel/Buffy kiss, forced or not it was anti-Spuffy and that gives me a happy.
5. I didn't really watch the Dawn kissage ep. Didn't keep my interest.
4. I agree and I have a ricer, they're useless.
3. Dawn. I have no words for Dawn until S7.
2. Riley's bad hair cut was a plot device, he cut the bad skater hair and was suddenly hot and authorative. It was necessary.
1. The shuffle-stumble was one thing, but the zombie talk, that was the real badness.
Re: I've never seen Star Wars
Date: 2004-09-21 04:11 pm (UTC)Zombie/Cyborg Walsh! Ha ha ha. Try putting THAT on your resume!
Re: I've never seen Star Wars
Date: 2004-09-21 09:18 pm (UTC)