How to survive if you find yourself in a horror movie

[stoney321]

Don't buy the "special chili" from this guy:

If a house looks like it has eyes, and there were people killed in it, don't buy said house:

If your child takes on this appearance: It's time to spill a few (7 approximately) gallons of gasoline on the porch and drop a match.

This is NOT the heimlich maneuver:

Never (BUT NEVER!!) pick up hitch-hikers:

If you dream that you've had sex with a hell beast and wake up pregnant, do not accept special herbals and/or necklaces from these ladies:

Let's face it. Twins are evil:

And if you see dead people, pluck out your eyes and get a dog:

But not this dog:

Oh. And don't be black or have sex. Happy Hallowe'en!!!!
*mini-Almond Joys and Snickers in your bags*

Comments

[cityphonelines.livejournal.com]

But I'm apprx. 1/2 so what'll happen to meeee???
And Nick Brendon is a twin, does that make him evil?

:: pets Cujo with a pitchfork ::

[cityphonelines.livejournal.com]

D'oh, I meant '1/2 black'

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

Dude. According to the laws of horror movies, if you aren't the first one to go, you'll be third. Nice knowing ya!

*pets your soon to be sliced off head*

[likeadeuce.livejournal.com]

part of my rationale in figuring "who's gonna die" at the end of "Angel" was that Gunn HAD TO survive, because they were NOT going to get saddled with killing the black guy again. (After Kendra & Mr. Trick were the only people of color to show up in the first 3 seasons of Buffy!) Same way you knew Principal Wood was going to live no matter how annoying he might be. Of course, Joss outsmarted me with "Not Fade Away"; I wasn't counting on the possibility of EVERYBODY dying, in which case Gunn's apparently-mortal wound just blends into the scenery.

total change of subject (I've noted to Sue lately that I will say "total change of subject" when switching from one picky-ass thing about "Angel" to another picky-ass thing about "Angel.") anyway, have you noticed that I have (1) a growing Wes-obsession and (2) serious insomnia. Is there some way to treat these conditions jointly?

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

Insomnia versus Wes obsession: stare at a plate of mini-reubens until you fall asleep? Pour over an endless stack of reference novels? Not allow yourself to love?

:)

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

Although, politics will be the next genre of horror on our American wasteland...

The kids look GREAT!! Except for Emily, who will NOT wear a costume, so she's hanging out with me passing out candy. Boo!! I made her the cutest costume, too. Poop.

[violethamster.livejournal.com]

Face it, unless any of us are secretly Jaime Lee Curtis or Jennifer Love Hewitt, we're all so dead.

So, how do you think you'd die if you found yourself in a horror movie? I think I'd be the geeky nerdy girl who's staying late in the chemistry lab for some reason, maybe I broke in to do an experiment to try to figure out who the killer is, and the killer creeps up on me, I am comically surprised (because it's funny to kill nerds, don'tcha know) and then he skewers me to death with pipettes or something.

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

Dude. Just saw that all of the pictures didn't load. Poop! I had wicked cool pics I found of the evil twins on The Shining, awesome Texas Chainsaw Massacre pics... WAHHH!!!

And you so get points for using "pipette." I, personally, believe that I would be tossed into the autoclave and set of "sterilize."
*clipboard and notes clatter to the floor*

[anelith.livejournal.com]

Husband and I were watching the baaad horror movies on TV tonight. Jeepers Creepers is so very, very bad. The few minutes we watched had two teenagers in a car watching the killer in another car -- they stop their running car, get *out* of the car and walk closer to the car to see what happened. Then they see a severed head on the road! Do they run and get in their car and drive away? Nooo! They hang around long enough to watch the creepy killer french kiss the severed head and start to eat the tongue! Then we have the obligatory scene where the kids *finally* get a clue, hop in their car and grind gears for several minutes before tearing off down the road. It was too funny.

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

I KNOW!!! It's so rare to find a scary movie that really IS scary. Rosemary's Baby freaks me out, The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (original) scare the bejeebus out of me (dude: it happens in the DAY.) and *shudder* The Ring. Gah. Good stuff. Slasher movies are just plain silly.

Thanks for playing with me tonight!!