Because I can make fun of myself just as easily as anything...

[stoney321]

Picture it: Sicily, 1912! (I can't let the Golden Girls go, I'm sorry.)

REAL ENTRY: So I'm on my short walk this morning (7 miles because I am Sasha Fierce, Beyonce) and cars are passing, the occupants starring at me. I hate being stared at, incidentally. I'm growing more irritated with every car passing me (and I'm walking into the wind, y'all know that stiff winds ARE MY ENEMY,) and begin to get paranoid, because I'm nothing if not a rational, calm human.

Are my tits hanging out?
Am I popping nips?
Is there blood on my leg, or is a giant man in a frightening mask following me?

On and on. A landscaper riding a lawn tractor is SLOWING DOWN and staring at me quizzically, and that's it. I stomp over to some trees under the pretense of "stretching" and check myself out. Fine, fine, everything covered, nothing amiss, WHATEVER, PEOPLE. I grab my mp3 player out of my waistband (I'm wearing a new pair of capri-length leggings that don't have a pocket, so my mp3 player is jammed in my waist band. Because of my walking, it's slipped down a bit. Ahem. And I see that the cord for my headphones is hanging down enough so that it's tucked up into my ladybidness, so to passers by, it appears that I have jammed an iPod up my cooze for safe keeping, or some such.

I WOULD STARE AT THAT, TOO.

Jesus hell, people, you can't take me anywhere. Oh, the laughing I did at myself, which only made more cars wonder about the crazy lady on the side of the road, probably setting her thingamabob to vibrate and enjoying herself in public. BWAH.

Stoney: 0
The World: A billion

Comments

[abusing-sarcasm.livejournal.com]

I would listen to that sweet, sweet music. *nods*

Make me a mix tape?

[mangofandango.livejournal.com]

I had a good, much-needed laugh as a result of your plight, though I am sorry you experienced it. ;)

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

BWAH! Twat? I cunt hair you...

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

I am a NERD DELUXE, yo.

Oh, man, thank goodness I can laugh at myself, or I would be miserable ALL THE TIME. :D

[brunettepet.livejournal.com]

Hahahaha! And it's not like someone could tell you what they thought was going on! If your fly was open or you were flashing boob I would not hesitate, but in this case I would have just stared, too!

[abusing-sarcasm.livejournal.com]

Ex-cooze me? That is NOT appropriate talk for polite quim-pany!

[thebratqueen.livejournal.com]

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

*breathe*

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

*head desk times a million*

See, I run the cord under my shirt so I don't have all that swinging around to tangle my arms. I usually tuck the excess into my waistband, too, but it just hung down in front and...

Good lord. I'm just a hot mess.

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

I KNOW.

Class, right here! *points to self*

[ruthless1.livejournal.com]

Oh dear. I head desk on your behalf.
*giggles some more*

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

I just...

IT WASN'T THERE, OKAY WORLD?? It just LOOKED like it was. But it wasn't.

*cries* Ahahaha.

[lynnenne]

I bet the iPod had fun, though. <3

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

HAHAHAHAHAHA.

Stupid pants with no pockets... ;)

[rainkatt.livejournal.com]

I needed that laugh! Here, have a randomly strange icon.

[tricksterquinn.livejournal.com]

Wow. That's... special.

Wouldn't it be hard to RUN like that?

[turnonmyheels.livejournal.com]

LOL

you know, they do sell a vibe thing that attaches to you ipod and vibes to the beat of whatever's playing. I wonder how many people thought that was exactly what you were doing while walking down the road?

[moosesal.livejournal.com]

You'll finger it out later. ;-)

[moosesal.livejournal.com]

I love you. That's all I have to say. I love you. Thank you for making me laugh.

[affectingly.livejournal.com]

I am sorry to report that I, too, would have laughed and stared a little. I feel like I was probably taught better manners than that, but the fact that the idea of an iVagina would have popped into my head probably supersedes any pretense of manners.

[soundingsea.livejournal.com]

Ahahaha. Awesome.

[ethrosdemon.livejournal.com]

I know everyone is laughing at you, but personally I am appalled at the idea that seven miles is a short walk.

(I wouldn't have noticed the iPod thing as I am clueless.)

[anelith.livejournal.com]

I've done the waistband thing too! But -- only at home, since I'm a wimp and only party down with my iPod at home while doing the laundry and other chores. So nobody else there to see me look weird except the cats, and since they lick their own butts, we're even. :-)

[dovil.livejournal.com]

Do you fart classically, or is it more drum n bass?

[zyrya]

I can't stop laughing! Hee!

Now you can check for pics of yourself on ladybidness_thingamabob.com

[claudia6913.livejournal.com]

OMG! I want to laugh out loud so bad but there's a meeting not more than 3 feet from my desk with all the managers ... and it. hurts. so. bad.

Wow...

Just ... wow.