This post is brought to you by half a bottle of fabulous 15 year old Bordeaux

[stoney321]

Yes, that means everyone is gone for their vacation and Mama's all by herself living it up.

So I'm watching on Bravo the astounding train wreck that is The Really Awful Housewives of Nouveau Riche-land, boggling over the money wasted on absolute crap, right? And there's a commercial for the GREATEST SHOW MAYBE EVER.

thebratqueen?? PAY ATTENTION: NYC PREP. It's like Gossip Girl, but REAL. Er. Realer.

Boarding school fixation? Check. People who have no clue as to what life is? Check. Sleaze and Intrigue? Check. They throw Vincent Kartheiser look-alikes in there and I'll claim it to be the greatest show ever put on celluloid. (Esp. if one of the boys also looks like Peter from The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe. I'm just saying.) STUPID RICH KIDS WHO THINK THAT WHAT LABELS YOU WEAR IS THE MOST IMPORTANT THING EVER. *cough* Meanwhile, back in Mombai... Little Hadji climbs out of a mudhole to try and find food for his dying three-year old sister. WHO CARES, ALEXIS WORE LAST SEASON'S BALL GOWN TO DINNER, WHAT.

In conclusion, if I could get a job where I watched that stuff, made jokes publicly, and drank booze, that would be the best job ever. In a nutshell, I'm saying I want to be a lazy drag queen. :D

Comments

[ateenwriter.livejournal.com]

lmao
I vote for more drunk posts

[lynnenne]

In conclusion, if I could get a job where I watched that stuff, made jokes publicly, and drank booze, that would be the best job ever.

I believe this job is called "TV Critic". YOU WOULD BE PERFECT.

I want a bottle of Bordeaux, now, too. *slurps*

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

HOOK ME UP. I spent the afternoon looking for jobs with my qualifications locally and they all seemed to involve getting people coffee and/or knowing how to use a chainsaw. Ahahaha.

When you come see me I will bring you wine! We will go to the awesome wine shop close by your hotel and get you a bottle or two (whatever your limit is) of fabulousness!!

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

I WILL DO MY BEST. *salutes*

[fitofpique.livejournal.com]

OH GOD I MUST HAVE THIS SHOW IN MY LIFE IMMEDIATELY.

*CLINKS WINEGLASSES WITH YOU*

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

WHICH ONE THEY ARE ALL SO HORRIBLY AWFULLY WONDERFUL!!!

Pique, I'm a bit toasty. You know what that means... *climbs into laps* Inappropriate hour is nigh!

[lynnenne]

WHEEEEE! I think I'm allowed to take 40 ounces on the plane home, so we'll LOAD UP THE SUITCASE.

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

40 oz? That's the booze of gangstas! If you buy a 40 oz of mad dog and take it home, I'll wear my pants sagging, I'M JUST SAYING.

[bitchygrrl.livejournal.com]

OMG I need to see that show now. Also you would be perfect for TWOP and one of their reviewers did leave recently, I'm just saying.

[fitofpique.livejournal.com]

NYC PREP

GIVE IT TO ME. ALSO A POPSICLE.

I like you toasty!

*groh-oh-oh-opes*

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

If they pay, and I can work from home, SIGN ME UP. <-- desperately seeking susan seeking employment

There's a guy named Flip that writes for.... TVGasm, and he's SO FREAKING funny. I want a job like that. help me, Obi Wan, you're my only hope!

[lynnenne]

Just checked the customs web site: I'm allowed two bottles of wine. So we'll buy the good stuff!

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

I mean... prep school in Manhattan with all the attitude and none of the life skills!!!! YES. And pretty, damaged boys that ultimately seek each other out for comfort *fist gnaw*

I like me toasty, too! I AM AWESOME, WHY AM I ALONE WITH ALL OF THIS AWESOME TO SHARE?! *unbuttons one more and looks coy*

[dovil.livejournal.com]

HEY YOU! I read the book - and lo, it was funny!

I will join you in your fantasy job!

[bitchygrrl.livejournal.com]

I know BRAVO purchased them, last year so they should pay. Other than that the only other job I can get you is phone sex *lol*

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

SWEEEEEEEET. This little place in the middle of nowhere has a FABULOUS world selection. WE WILL SHOP.

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

Wait, what book? AM I THAT DRUNK? It's not possible, although I have a low tolerance for booze lately as I've been very good and exercising. DAMMIT.

If I get that fantasy job, clearly I will have it in my contract to hire you, too. THAT'S HOW I ROLL.

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

I WOULD BE SO GOOD AT PHONE SEX I HAVE A HIGH-PITCHED VOICE, BRING IT.

Or you know... the writing/legit gig. WHATEVER, MAMA NEEDS TO GET BABY NEW SHOES.

[thebratqueen.livejournal.com]

INORITE???? And RHoNJ is awesome. I cannot WAIT for next week and Teresa throwing the table.

[lynnenne]

I cannot wait! <333

[bitchygrrl.livejournal.com]

Hey don't joke, I'm an independent pso now, but I'm actually strarting my own co. I do no a few places that would probably hire you though. Umm TWOP does have a site link about how to get on with them I think.

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

WHAT THE HELL IS THE UNIVERSE DOING TO ME!?!?!?!? It's like all my secret wishes are coming true...

*wishes for a three way with me, a billion dollars, and Jack Davenport's voice/Johnny Depp*

Oh my GOD the table!! "YER A HOO-AH!" *incoherent dolphin noises*

[dovil.livejournal.com]

Well it has been 24 hours since we talked about it, so I'm not surprised that the wine zapped those brain cells first. Ironically enough: Wishful Drinking by Carrie Fisher.

I like the way you roll! I can make you coffee and call you Mam and hire you hookers and babysitters in equal measure. Plus I can type 75 words per minute so with dictation your drunken posts can happen that much faster!

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

I DON'T JOKE ABOUT SEX. Even when I show up in clown shoes and grease paint.

They do, do they? Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.......

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

THE BOOK. Jesus, keep up, me. Oh man, isn't it hilarious?! I'm reading two other of her books right now, and while I love them, I think the wit in Wishful Drinking is the most like you and me at a bar. Ahahahaha.

I LIKE THE CUT OF YOUR JIB. Even though it's against the Torah. Hey-O!

[thebratqueen.livejournal.com]

I was having lunch with a coworker today and I was all "Did you see this week's RHoNJ?" and she was all "No. PLEASE TELL ME I DID NOT MISS THE EPISODE WHERE TERESA FLIPS A TABLE."

True story.

[bitchygrrl.livejournal.com]

There's a fetish for that I'm sure probably among ballooners.

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

How do I have that level of awesome co-worker, in bullet points, pls.

[thebratqueen.livejournal.com]

Come work with me at Primatech, naturally.

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

Why can't they be HERE, though? *kicks all the maps about* Stupid earth being too huge...

[thebratqueen.livejournal.com]

We need teleporters.

And I do mean us specifically. I don't trust the ex Miss California with this kind of power.

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

We need to make sure the fly strips are on the OUTSIDE, though.

[entrenous88.livejournal.com]

The shows about NYC rich kids are just not for me, because just way too much of that while I lived there, way too many people I know who came from that background.

But hey, I'm totally taken by some show in which southern moms put their seven year olds in Little Miss Pageants and obsess over their Wow Wear, so we all have our thing!

Enjoy your fancy schmancy wine and free time!

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

But but but.... I like to think of you associating with the rich INTELLECTUAL kids, knowing you as I do, because of your brain meat, and the people on these shows are all about labels and stupidity. In a nutshell, I invision your life as running with mini-Prousts. :D

OH MY GOD, the pageant shows!!! Aren't those horrible and shocking and addictive? They put FAKE TEETH on six year olds. OH MY GOODNESS. It's crazy!!

[moosesal.livejournal.com]

I cannot wait for NYC Prep. I kept seeing the ads during Make Me A Supermodel. *blush* It's the Gossip Girl/reality show mix that is just totally irresistible to me.

I've totally outed myself as shallow, haven't I? Oh well.

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

I'm drunk, blogging about the crappiest shows ever, and you're worried about YOU sounding shallow? AHAHAHAHAHA.

ILU, SAL. We'll totally email and giggle over the Prep school show, promise.

[entrenous88.livejournal.com]

You can't live in the city, be around anyone attached to that lifestyle and completely avoid the craven ones! They're all over.

They. are. FASCINATING! Recently the weirdest part seems to be the huge polarity of the families: either poor as poor can be, or filthy rich. I think the middle class groups seem to avoid those contests to some extent. Rightfully so as it is insane to spend two thousand dollars on evening wear for a seven year old while the trailer park is falling down around the parents for the poorer families, or for the wealthier ones stuffing hundreds of thousands of dollars into the fists of "coaches" that could be put to their kids' educations. But yeah, hard to look away -- so, so foreign to me that it's riveting.

[minstrel666.livejournal.com]

"In conclusion, if I could get a job where I watched that stuff, made jokes publicly, and drank booze, that would be the best job ever."

Film it on a camcorder, send it over to the guys at thatguywithttheglasses.com and rake in that sweet, sweet Internet money.

[maybe1ce.livejournal.com]

"In a nutshell, I'm saying I want to be a lazy drag queen. "



Don't we all?

[ruthless1.livejournal.com]

Seriously - I think Comcast has jobs like the one you are wanting. I knew someone who was paid to watch tv forty hours a week - he had to make sure all the shows went live and played correctly for a JOB!!!!! jeebus.

[anelith.livejournal.com]

We see some clips from the Housewives show on "The Soup" and wow is that mind-boggling! I wonder if they'll show clips from NYC Prep sometime... I wouldn't mind seeing some good-looking boys, even if they are dumber than a box of hammers. :D

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

HOW DO I GET THAT JOB?? Oh man, we live in the land of milk and honey...

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

Anne, it's SHOCKING, these people. I'm completely hooked on it, because it's SO BIZARRE. It's so foreign to how I live and think, it's like watching something on National Goegraphic.

Mmmm, dumb boys. Hahahahaha.

[ruthless1.livejournal.com]

Plus they got time in their work day to go work out since they had to sit and watch tv for so long! It was a crazy job that this student had. He was making like 10k a year MORE THAN ME! feh I say. Feh!