Karma Laundrette

So I have lovely lovely meds from my lovely lovely doctor (who ACTUALLY MADE ME ADMIT that I am stubborn and I need to stop it before she would give me my prescription. She's awesome.) and they are making me...sleepy? Loopy? A little drinky drunk feeling? Hooray! Except for how that means I can accomplish nothing I planned for today. OH WELL. *burbles*

But! I made some cupcakes with #2 last night (because it taught her how to make a ganache, how to temper eggs AND make a custard. YAY BAKING!) and holy moley, guys. DELISH. SEE??!?!??!?




( Boston Cream CUPCAKES. Jess? YEAH. GET ON THESE. )
This has been drunk baking with Stoney. :D (I'm not actually drunk.)

Because it won't tell me anything anymore.

So thank you to zyrya and drvsilla and an anonymous lovely that sent me pretty things to decorate my LJ. I know they're just internet pictures, but it's touching that you went that extra step. <3

Okay, I'm going to fall back into a bottle of wine in honor of dovil for no other reason than she's my favorite drinking buddy. <3

I want to marry this girl and make drinks and bad jokes until we die from it.

My husband and I just road tested this drink to make sure (tchuh, you think I don't actually drink the cocktails I make up for the Glee recaps?) and seriously. If you like spicy things, this is your jam. (lol) Tequila and Chipotle Tabasco, TRUST ME.

CLICK HERE for the shot recipe and hey, there just happens to be another Glee recap attached! Would you look at that. (And if you want to start from the beginning, I've helpfully added links to the next episode at the bottom. You're welcome.)

Also, did you watch Wilfred on FX last night? YOU SHOULD. It's awesome. More on it here. Guys, there are AMAZING comedies on FX, it's mind boggling.

True Blood and all it's cracked out glory starts this weekend! Recaps should follow Monday morning. We've got a Tumblr now that will be filled with crazy (maintained by handsomespeck because she's hilarious) so add that to your feeds or whatever the kids do these days. THERE IS SO MUCH TO DELIGHT IN FOLKS.

OK, Imma get into a bathing suit and splash for a bit because it's redonk hot and no breeze and because I can. IT'S THE WEEKEND OMG.

MASSIVE PICSPAM. MASSIVE PICS. OF A MASSIVE HOLE IN THE EARTH. (And more!) It all starts with a drive to the airport with a sign that read Captain Sparklepants, complete with glitter effects... ( ~~~wavy lines of flashback!~~~ )

Aside from making her move here so we can do it all again, that is. :)

HAPPY NEW YEAR! If you're on the other side of the globe from me, at least. If you live where I do, then wait a few hours and read that. IT'LL BE LIKE I'M RIGHT THERE WITH YOU.

I have many things to write about (lol, not really, just me going "HEY GUYS, GUESS WHAT I DID TODAY: LAUNDRY. GUYS, GUYS, GUESS WHAT I DID NOW? DISHES!") but it'll have to wait until the new year. Tonight I am starting up my old tradition of Cards and Booze at my place because for new folks that don't know, I will not drive on NYE. Too many people I've known/worked with hit/killed by drunk drivers.

WHICH LEADS ME TO THIS: GET A CAB TONIGHT. Just do it. Do not drive if you've had booze in your system, no matter how barely buzzed you think you are. 1) you're impaired, 2) you'll be on the road with other impaired people who think just like you, and 3) cabs leave your mouth and hands free for back seat make outs, there is no bad there! HAPPY NEW YEAR INDEED. :)

I'm introducing my neighbors to my family's card game (other people might play it, too, this is what we play in our family, and how we play it, so I don't need to hear how you do it differently, you'll just confuse me) and have printed up a rule card and laminated it and have a deck of cards for them to take home as party favors because I am the hostess with the mostest. Lol. We're also have duck sliders (yay hunting season! I can have red meat again! Yes, duck isn't red meat, technically, quit riding me, you get my point) and salmon crudities and champagne punch and goat cheese and homemade crackers and a bundt cake and GENERAL FUN TIMES.

( Hands and Feet, the most awesome card game without money or stripping that exists )

BE SAFE! HAVE FUN! ENJOY THE CALENDAR WIPE! Let's all step it up in 2011 and quit the slacking shit of 2010, shall we? Ha. BE SAFE! BE WELL! BE HAPPY! Imagine I'm hugging you and giving you a loving bump on the shoulder!

<3 <3 <3

LOL, it's just an excuse for margaritas, it's not like in Mexico this is a big holiday, BUT HEY-O, I LIKE SUMMERTIME DRINKS, so that works out just fine in my book! [Pfft, so they kicked some French butt, as long as it means 'ritas are half price all day, VIVA LA MEXICO!]

Also things I like: tamales (I have some on deck for este noche) salsa verde, poblanos roasted and stuffed with dee-lee-shous-ness and CHEESE. Cheese on everything! YO TE LUB QUESO. Soak it all in tequila and jam it down my gullet, OM NOM NOM.

But before I can become a bloated, wobbly mess, I get to record a fun radio ad this afternoon and I would like to state to the cosmos yet again that I LOVE VOICEOVER WORK. Love it. 1) no makeup required B) shorts! and lastly: people tell you you're awesome and I always like that, I'm funny that way.

In conclusion: LAST NIGHT'S LOST WAS AMAZING. That is all I'll say here, no spoilers, and if you talk about it in comments (and I encourage that!) PLEASE put "Spoiler" in the subject for folks, because it's the Right Thing to Do.

MAS CERVEZAS, AQUI! AHORA! Well, in a few more horas. [/Spanglish] I would like to hear The Most Fascinating Man On Earth on repeat today. STAY THIRSTY, MY FRIENDS.

Guys, I am in my house talking to my dog. I just typed "fod" instead of the word intended and Kita should be laughing now. There is a part of me that is saying STOP TYPING DEAR LORD, but what needs to be said, needs to be said. I may regret this in the am. What is the deal with the rational part of my brain still working? MOAR BOOZE.

1. I am seriously lonely, and it's not just for my kids, although that takes up 75% of it. My son texted me about watching a spider building a web from start to finish, and I fell in love with my first born all over again. Seriously, my son is totally awesome.
2. I need a man. I'm just saying.
3. I'm watching (finally) Friday Night Lights 3rd season, and it's such a god damned good show, if you're not watching I"m judging you a little. Also, half of my agency is cast in that show, and I would like to work on it, thanks. :D
4. There are people who aren't posting much anymore and it makes me sad. swmbo, I don't care if it's just the thought of the day and how you fell, I want to hear about it, lol. LJ feels like a ghost town, and I have to remember that it's June, and it's always like this.
5. My dog is seriously awesome, and she likes me, which makes her even more awesome. This makes sense to me. Also, she's looking at me like she gets it - that's all I need in life, you guys, lol.
6. I am feeling seriously optimistic about the future, and I can't say when I've EVER felt that. I'm a doom and gloom inside gal, even though I hide it well.
7. I freaking love Italian reds, even though it's gauche to like that shit in the summer. I FAIL, but my mouth is happy.
8. dovil wins for the fantastic gifts from NEW ZEALAND that she sends. I mean, let's face it, it's 3rd world stuff, but it's the thought that counts. Lol. She might be one of my favorite people of all time, I'm just saying. Also, she doesn't judge my drinking. Speaking of, I picked up some NZ wine on her request, and if it sucks, I'm personally blaming her. Because all of that island should be held responsible. hahaha.

In two hours I will watch (and mock) some Jersey broads for their accents and lifestyles, even though I am rooting for them. I'm an enigma, deal. HEE. Okay, refilling my glass. NO, STONEY, NO! Eff, you, it's tasty! :D (My beloved Cantina Zagganini, for those curious. Cheap[ish] and delish. YES, PLEASE.)

Guys, my mother wore HER wedding dress to MY WEDDING. I was broken long before I came online, don't judge me. Hahahahaha.

number one. I am slightly tipsy. I blame an entire bottle of Cab Sav from Chile, but I'm prejudiced.
number two. I have made an Obama tee shirt with the magic of the Iron On (I love that stuff) and I will take a picture and post it tomorrow. It may be the greatest thing ever seen by human eyes.
number three. I have an unhealthy (wait, really?) crush on Keith Olberman, and can't pin it down to the snark, the smarts, or the silver. Mmm, all three plus the glasses. Rawr.
number four. The Mr. really REALLY should not be out of town tonight. Those lines? Read between them.
number five. there are folks out there that haven't been around much and I miss them. Consider this a shout out and some lovings from me.

I have cheese straws that will go WONDERFULLY with this wine. (shut up, I have lots of bottles and they NEED ME.) I go to them. (Shoot, tomorrow I have to walk 18 miles plus finish cleaning. I DESERVE the wine. Or some shit.)

OH! I almost forgot! Those of you that poured in the donations on Friday??? You made me cry. I love you for it. <3 <3 <3

AND YES, whoops capslock! I am spamming.l But whatever, no one but like three of us are posting lately.

I have had a lot of wine. Unfortunately, it was not good wine. But I was raised to be an industrious and non-wasteful Mormon girl, so I have polished off the bottle. (dellatorii pinot grigio, for the record. I cannot reccomend this. McManis Pinot? YES.) You know, there are all these posts coming up everywhere about what is acceptable behavior online, and haha I am drunk and posting baldly, which cannot fit the bill, but whatever.

If you are the type that is constantly upset by your interactions with others, then you might have a problem. If you are always offended or hurt or the like... The problem might not lie with "the mean girls" of which I am ALWAYS associated with, even though I might be the most generous and kind person you've ever met. Ahaha. Ahem. Truly, though. I just... life isn't fair. Life isn't nice. Who told you it should be? Should people not purposely hurt each other? Of course. Should you learn to maybe deal with the fact that life is messy and ugly at times? Yes.

Wow, this was not my intent, but there it is. I would like to state for the record that I read Lydia instructing her sisters of what to expect from sex with Mr. Darcy porn today and read the world NONNY-NONNY and LARYDOODLE. And I stand firmly by the belief that I can make fun of those words at any given time, because are you kidding me? NONNY-NONNY. It's a vagina, people. Although I did use that name as a joke in the Annie parody where I named Connie: Connie Nani, because that makes me laugh.

I think I should eat something. And never buy that wine again. You know what I love? Strong women that LOVE being strong. Why don't more women strive for that? Speak your mind to me, ladies, I love it. (Um, and gents. I know there are a few of you out there. :*) Don't be boobies! Have them, but don't BE them. Ahaha.
In conclusion, i firmly believe that I can no longer write porn. This makes sense in my head. Possibly not in a few hours.

AND WHOOOOOOO!