my tongue is so far in my cheek it's practically in my throat

[stoney321]

Someone has just told me that my "a theesm [sic] and the loss of Marshall Law" *cough* is the reason why the world is going to hell in a hand basket. And this was all prompted by a rant someone posted on their FB (locked) about how the US shouldn't ratify the UN-CRC (a document that basically insures children's rights around the world. You know, to keep things like that 12 year old Yemen girl from dying in childbirth. Clearly that is a godless and dangerous idea?) We need more god and guns, you see. That could mean I couldn't use the rod to keep my child from being spoilt, that's what's wrong with the world! That and my "a theesm." And the lack of Marshall Law. Who is Marshall, and what was the verdict?

It's very hard to have an intellectual discussion with someone who has brought no intellect to the table.

In other news, I continued my random acts of silly by getting a pumpkin-spice latte at Starbucks and singing Metallica at the barista, who wore a "Coffee Master" apron. Master! Master! Master of Coffee is grinding my beans!

I got my coffee for free, and a laugh at that person's expense I MEANT TO SAY I got to laugh at the Marshall Law person's expense. My coffee dude and I talked like Yoda and cracked some D&D jokes, we were cool, lol. Score one for me. (I'm spammy today, sorry.)

Comments

[bastardsnow.livejournal.com]

For serious, it took me about 4 re-reads to figure out what 'a theesm' was. ::shudders::

[nijireiki.livejournal.com]

I thought it was meant to be a "thesis" at first, and I was wondering if it had anything to do with the chain store Marshalls.

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

I had to re-read her comment multiple times to figure it out, too!

WOW, right?!

[beadattitude.livejournal.com]

Srsly, that's how she spelt it?

Isn't Marshall Law that feller from "Gunsmoke?"

OOOOOH, wouldn't it be nice to tell her that the actual Marshall Law feller is named Thurgood? I betcha that would go over real well.

[a-mistletoe.livejournal.com]

Didn't Marshall Law become part of that firm Law and Order: Special Victims Unit? That was my vain attempt to be silly seeing as we don't have a Starbucks at hand and they wouldn't serve pumpkin coffee. Not British Starbucks anyway. It must be bacon and egg flavour. Breakfast in a cup.

Your fellow atheeeist and handbasket to hell occupant.

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

EEEEEE HEEE HEEE. Totally a part of Law and Order, hahahaha. Special Victimes Unit, lol.

My latte was ridiculously good. I don't normally drink coffee like that, but I'm glad I did today. YUM.

*pedals us to the gates of hell*

[nijireiki.livejournal.com]

Wow. The sad thing is? There would have been a more detailed and less intelligible telling-off if this wasn't a knee-jerk reaction to "THE UN ARE PUSSIES" in this... whoever's mind. I keep meeting people like this in person, Stoney. You do not suffer alone. /meaningfulglance

Today's silliness: sat in the library repeatedly cracking up (LOUDLY) with my little sister because we kept on quoting Dragon Ball Z at each other. ("VEGETA! WHAT DOES THE SCOUTER SAY.") We are both in college. IT BE SRS BZNISS, Y'ALL.

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

Oh, exactly! Totally a Bircher type that doesn't even UNDERSTAND what the UN is, let alone what MARTIAL law is. Wow. I keep meeting these people, too, and I want it to QUIT. *holds your hand*

Hahaha, I approve of your shenanigans!

[moosesal.livejournal.com]

A theests of the world unite!!

Master! Master! Master of Coffee is grinding my beans!

You just made my day. 4 reelz.

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

HEEE. I'm happy to have provided! We then went on a schpiel about "Make your latte, I will," and other Yoda-esque statements, cracking each other up. Hooray nerds!

Would it be "a" theests? Or THE theests? Help me, Obi Two, you're my only hope!

[moosesal.livejournal.com]

I just came home from the grocery story. My checker was "Missee" and I wonder if she's an a theest. It really would be perfect for her.

I think more than one a theest would have to be the theests. You're totally right.

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

And in my head, it rhymes with "beasts." WHICH IS FITTING IF YOU THINK ABOUT IT.

[dangomango.livejournal.com]

We need more god and guns, you see.

SIGH humanity :/ Oh well, if God is real, hopefully those are the people (s)he/it's planning to smite.

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

SOmeone else on the thread, in a horrified/on their side kind of way begged for "Jesus [to] come early!"

Yes, please, and take these folks with you.

[dangomango.livejournal.com]

LOL.

Dear Jesus,

Considering the types of friends your dad has, I can't help but feel that He must be a real dick. If When you come back, please don't bring Him.

Apathetically and-only-Catholic-when-I'm-scared,

dangomango

[minstrel666.livejournal.com]

Did he mean this (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marshall_Law_%28Tekken%29#Marshall_Law) Marshall Law?

(http://img89.imageshack.us/i/tk5marshalllaw.jpg/)

(http://img604.imageshack.us/content.php?page=blogpost&files=img89/5908/tk5marshalllaw.jpg)

Indeed, the world would be much better place if we had this combination of Iron Chef/Jeet Kune Do master.

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

A better place INDEED. (LOL.)

[turnonmyheels.livejournal.com]

Taste me you will see
More is all you need
You're dedicated to
How I'm drinking you


---

tries desperately not to laugh out loud in front of co-worker

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

I had in my head:

Taste me you will see
Crema thick and free
I'm dedicated to you
Caffeinating YOOOOOOU!

HEEE. And guess what JUST came on my iPod mix? lml -_- lml

[turnonmyheels.livejournal.com]

rock it out Stoney, rock it out

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

*WINDMILLS LIKE A MOTHER TRUCKER*

[neried7.livejournal.com]

DETHKLOK!

Totally brutal.

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

*talks into tape recorder*

Death by... death by barista. Death by satanic barista, good song title. :D

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

\o/

When I was a Master Gardener I used to sing, "Master! Master! Master Gardeners are pulling your weeds!" and no one got it because they were all old ladies. :D

[dovil.livejournal.com]

Children's rights?! What kind of crazy nutcase is going to want to support that. Guns and bibles, that's where it's at! I make my bullets out of the pages of the bible and shoot people in the face with the words of the lord - now that's chillin it ol' fundo style. *does hand gestures, geniflects*

I was in America around about this time last year - where were my pumpkin flavoured things? We don't get that down here. Where's the UN when I need them, Stoney? *sad face*

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

I like the idea of bullets out of the Bible, because then you can "fill up someone's chest cavity" with the word of the Lord. Good thinking. I think you should fill every orifice with the word of the Lord. That's what my uncle called it. *cries into my pie*

I got off track. What I mean to say is, we didn't get any pumpkin flavored things because we never went into Starbucks like proper American consumers, dammit. I AM CALLING THE UN RIGHT NOW. If only to rail at them for taking God out of my coffee. And children, always the children.

[dovil.livejournal.com]

Yeah, my uncles (my mother was always introducing me to yet another one, I had no idea our family was so big!) were always offering up the holy sacrement to be consumed, well, right up until the social workers arrived on the scene. I think they must have been a theests.

I broke down somewhere in Boston and ended my Starbucks embargo - though why the hell I was bothering with coffee in a city known for great beer and Harvard students passed out in doorways, I'll never know. I could have blended in - they would have just thought my accent was due to alcohol induced brain damage!

[dlgood.livejournal.com]

I'm pretty sure there is not enough Marshall Law in the US because Americans do not want to watch Sammo Hung's fat ass.

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

I don't know who that is, so I'm clearly going to have to educate myself. I have my fingers crossed it's a "Dawg" bounty hunter joke. :D

[dlgood.livejournal.com]

My goodness! I've found the donut hole in your otherwise impressive pop-cultural knowledge.

Sammo Hung was a once pudgy Hong Kong martial artist/stuntman/actor (he's one of the villains Bruce Lee defeats in "Enter the Dragon") along with Jackie Chan. Hung eventually became downright porky. (Star of 1978's "Enter the Fat Dragon") In the 1990s, it seemed like a good idea to capitalize on Jackie Chan's success - and Hung was cast as the star of a prime time show "Martial Law" - which I think either spun-off from, or frequently crossed over with "Walker: Texas Ranger". (Martial Law also starred Arsenio Hall and Kelly Hu.) I cannot imagine you watch it, but assumed you'd heard of it.

So that's a roundabout way of me making a cheesy joke playing on the Martial Law quote, and Sammo Hung's fatness and inability to deliver English dialogue.

[lynnenne]

Marshall Law = a guy with a big hat wearing a star on his chest
a theesm = an orgasm caused by thee

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

Thanks goodness for your intellect, OR I WOULD BE LOST. IN A SEA OF WOE. ON A WOE BOAT. (Woe, woe, woe your boat.)

[lynnenne]

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. I loff you so hard.

How is your little one feeling? My headache lasted for FIVE DAYS. By the end I wanted to spork out my brain. :( I'm sorry we didn't get to hang out, but I wouldn't have been very good company.

*hugs your bones*

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

She was fine by movie day (Saturday) :\ but she had a deep, rattling cough, so I'm glad I didn't infect you! I'm sorry about that headache, how miserable! That was going around here, I think it was because of the high allergens in the air that week from the humidity. Bleh.

I will hug your bones and kiss your cheek next time you are here, though, come hell or high water!

[fabrisse.livejournal.com]

And the lack of Marshall Law. Who is Marshall, and what was the verdict?
I notice you didn't immediately assume they were speaking of the Supreme Court under Justice John Marshall and its influence on early Federalist practices.

Yeah. Right. *sigh* The worst part is, this person would totally take my Dad's American Government class and wonder why he wasn't getting an "A."

It's been a disgrace for years that we haven't ratified UN-CRC. And I also love that our ancient allies Iran and China agree with the US about capital punishment.

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

When people get affronted so easily, and they're so easily manipulated into fear over something that is inherently WRONG, but it's been mangled into fitting their particular belief system... It makes me want to bang their heads against brick walls.

[anelith.livejournal.com]

I am catching up on LJ so I didn't get the "random acts of silly" until seeing your previous post -- that made me smile SO much. People do seem to get insanely grouchy behind the wheel of a car and it would do them good to lighten up.

I'm amazed that the idiot you quoted in the first paragraph had sufficient smarts to navigate his way onto FB in the first place.

[ipnotika.livejournal.com]

ROTFLMAO = an acronym reserved for special moments like this

Super biscuits for the Metallica coffee smackdown!!

And I know where that lady/mister can stick their holy word of Jesus... Do you see how horrific fantabulous the world would be if everyone just talked about god and read their bibles? Because as long as you think about god while you're doing unholy things like raping little girls, it all evens out. Right?

[hartlyn.livejournal.com]

"I refuse to engage in a battle of wits with an unarmed man." Unfortunately, the unarmed don't even get that when you say it to them. I get sent this shit all the time. "your (sic) not a real american if you dont believe in God." (my fingers hurt when I type out somebody else's usage fail).
And don't you find it interesting that among the most fundie of fundie Xtians, due process, justice, prosperity, and health care are only for them and their homies, not anyone else?