Oh. My. God.

[stoney321]

I found my journal from my first year in college. In Mormon Utah. You know that picture that I want to be on the cover of my memoir/book? I just found where those two missionaries had written their names into my journal.

What the ever loving-

Like, they must have seen it on my desk in my dorm room (that's where that picture is from), taken it, and put their names and info in my FREAKING JOURNAL. Wow.

Also, I am completely embarrassed by my self-professed bravado and almost slavish dedication to my faith. I describe the attractive attributes of boys as them having "really strong spirits and testimonies." I was 20! I should have been checking out hot asses! And when guys chastened me with their superior intellect in all things spiritual, I called them "awesome studs" and remarked about "how much I have yet to learn."

GOOD GOD. Wow. I've, uh, come a long way since then. O_O

[ETA] OH HAIL NAW. I referred to this one boy as my JOHNNY LINGO. I could die. Never doubt that I was hard core LDS, haters. :(

Comments

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

I KNOW. The self flagellation to honor the Almighty Priesthood!!

NO NO NO NO NO!!!

[kita0610.livejournal.com]

I had this thought this morning while I was putting on my make up. I was remembering this prayer which religious boys say every day "thank you G-d, for not making me a woman."

And I was struck by how many of us have a relationship with our religion(s) that is a lot like an abusive parent.

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

I HAVE NEVER HEARD OF THAT ONE, WTF?!

But yeah - for me it was more like an abusive spouse.

[kita0610.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I heard that every morning growing up.

It's so weird for me, because school was the only place I felt really safe and nurtured, but then there were moments like that. Hence, abusive parent.

When I got older and started to question things, I did ask about it. Got the standard "oh, it's because it's SO HARD to be a woman", and I was like, "well maybe if YOU DIDN'T CONTRIBUTE TO THAT."

Ugh.

[rikibeth.livejournal.com]

That's funny, the stock response I got was "men are expected to observe MORE of the mitzvot than women, so they're praising God (except these teachers would have wanted me to write it 'G-d') for having the chance to fulfill more mitzvot." And my response, which I was not always tactful enough not to say out loud, was "You mean they're supposed to be GLAD they have to keep track of more idiotic nitpicking rules? Someone's crazy here and I don't think it's me."

[kita0610.livejournal.com]

I still write it G-d.

The thing about men vs. women in terms of mitzvot I always found interesting. Supposedly, women are closer to G-d without having to do anything. Men have to work harder at it. Which, ok, I can hang with that. But then it comes down to "also women can't be expected to put down the baby and run out and do unrelated mitzvot" and my brain rolls out my eyes.

I'm all for mitzvot. Just don't tell me which ones I will be unable to do simply because I happen to have a uterus.

[lynnenne]

OMG WORD to this.

[nijireiki.livejournal.com]

...Oh my GOD, that reminds me of my Catholic Twilight-and-Anita-Blake-loving grandfather. He would tell me and my sisters God loved boys better, and that's why girls get periods.

[kita0610.livejournal.com]

Nice. Oh organized religion, why so crazy?!