I could use some literal brain bleach. Hogod.

[stoney321]

Don't worry, I won't go into specifics. Let's just say that I have (the tense of this verb will change now to HAD) no boundaries. Anything can be made funny. Anything. 2 Girls and 1 Cup? I laughed my butt off (saying EWWWW! while laughing, of course.) Horror movies, gross jokes, That Story About Coffee and ...Draco, etc., total lol cakes. I used to do a series of posts a while back where I found horrid fanfic and MSTK'd them, because that's a good time to me. (click the bad(great!)fic tag if you're curious.)

And then.

And then I clicked on some things this morning. And for the first time IN MY LIFE, I couldn't finish my breakfast. (Yeah. I can EAT while watching/reading that stuff, that's how iron-clad my belleh is.) NOPE. I AM FOREVER RUINED. (This is beyond the stuff I've posted here before. Things I've put in invisio text and WARNED COPIOUSLY ABOUT. If that doesn't tell you, then... Oy.)

Say it with me, folks: there is no bottom to the internet barrel. There is no bottom to the internet barrel. There is no such thing as "well, it can't get worse than this." BECAUSE IT ALWAYS CAN. It's the equivalent to "what's the worse that can happen?" in movies. WELL, THE WORLD WOULD LIKE TO SHOW YOU. VIOLENTLY.

In order to cleanse my SOUL (and I'm kinda not joking about that dramatic term) I am going to bake SOMETHING AWESOME *there, Posh. no more bad associations. :D I've posted the recipe in a separate post - they turned out fantastic.

Also, I get to make a spreadsheet of chores for my children's summertime fun. HAHAHA, SUCKERS! No lazing about for you!

*hums "Just keep swimming, just keep swimming, what do we do, we swim, swim!"* I need cat macros today, gimmie all the cute you got, flist! HELP ME, LJ FLIST, YOU'RE MY ONLY HOPE.

Comments

[marenfic.livejournal.com]

I know this would not bother your iron stomach, but I recently had to hold back my vomit and a review in EW about a little movie called The Human Centipede.

I have serious worries about the human race.

In other news, sorry I'm a distant butthead. I hope you and the kids have some fun fun times this summer.

[maybe1ce.livejournal.com]

Or lordy. I'm afraid to ask.

It frightens me that this is the most disturbing thing you've seen online. Because, srsly? This means that whatever it is is more retch-inducing than the Hot Tub Bodily Function Soup Party.

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

YES. IT'S WORSE THAN THAT.

Which is why I didn't post links, or anything, because pretty much only my sister (who works in anime for a living) has a similar constitution as me. YOU'RE WELCOME.

[minstrel666.livejournal.com]

Haha, Stoney discovered the expansion fetish. XD

Here, have a triple cute dog combo with a 120% funny pun bonus.

(http://pl.tinypic.com)

125500 points!

...

You are average player. :(

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

Oh, it wasn't just that. That was more lolzy than OMG WHAAAAAAAT. Combine both things from my twitter. And then go from THERE. Gah.

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

TRUE STATEMENT.

LOST SPOILERS

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

And I just won't tell you, so you are the winner, winner, chicken dinner!

I'm so glad to hear you enjoyed it, as well! I read an EXCELLENT review on Jezebel that summed up how I felt about it, as well. (The unplugging o the island! The unplugging of the machine! SO MUCH LOVE.)

[beyondtherubicon]

That Story About Coffee and ...Draco

I'll hate myself for this later but I have to ask what this is all about.

Have my cute puppy icon as payment! :D

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

Dude. Dude. Google Draco, Harry, Coffee, and enema.

YEAH.

PUPPY!! *noms his ears*

[halfmoon-mollie.livejournal.com]

I thought of you when I heard this (http://www.npr.org/templates/player/mediaPlayer.html?action=1&t=1&islist=false&id=127107451&m=127107450) this morning. I hope it helps.

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

I WOULD TAKE THAT CLASS!!!

LOST SPOILERS

[brunettepet.livejournal.com]

Whoops! Should have put my feelings about the Finale under an lj cut. Sorry about that anyone who read it.

Re: LOST SPOILERS

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

NO WORRIES!! (I'm screening it, just to be safe.) *smooch*

[gracilejenn.livejournal.com]

This is my dog. No denying, cutest puppy in the world. His name is Rhys.
(http://s6.photobucket.com/albums/y213/dulcinea77/?action=view&current=Rhyssweater.jpg)

I've been weeping for my humanity for a few days because the Human Centipede just bored me. But as long as I think my Rhysie piecy is the bee's knees, I'll be all right.

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

THAT IS TOO MUCH. AHHHHHHHHHHHH! SO CUTE!

(And what has inspired this post wasn't The Human Centipede. That made me lol, actually.)

[dampersnspoons.livejournal.com]

This cat is trying to unsee what you saw *for* you.

http://img.ffffound.com/static-data/assets/6/d9da7e4caf23d251adf7a84a547efc3a65d9360c_m.jpg

Sorry you watched Maid to Order.

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

I CANNOT UNSEE JANE FONDA AND J.LO, BETH. Oh my god, whyyyyyyyyyy?

(Dude. DUDE. you KNOW that I don't get grossed out. Bats flying out of vajayjays and attacking? That's hilarious. This... oh man.)

THAT CAT IS THE BEST. I also think it drives a panel-sided van, but that could just be me.

This is a bit long, but I hope you enjoy!

[luvxander.livejournal.com]

[luvxander.livejournal.com]

So did you finally get around to watching Teeth or something?

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

LOL, that was hilariously bad, wasn't it? UM, NO.

Also, YOU WIN THE MACRO SPAMMING CONTEST, YAY!!!

[rikibeth.livejournal.com]

How about a Hang In There kitten? Kind of the ancestor of cat macros!

[essene.livejournal.com]

See, here's the problem. You talk and I get all:

I am pretty sure I wasn't supposed to be clicking around trying to figure out what the hell you were talking about. At least this is what my brain is now telling me. Because I know things now, many terrible things.

And then I end up like this:


Also? I'm at work, so there's that.

Why Stoney? Why?

Though to be truthful, although all of that was repulsive, it still doesn't turn my stomach or horrify me as much as the manip of the maggot/lotus pod/breast. That scarred me for life. LIFE.

Hold me?

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

I don't even know what you've been clicking on! But holy shit, that lotus breast manip WAS HORRIFYING. I had to keep staring at it, trying to make myself understand DEEP DOWN that it was a manip so I could unsee what it wanted me to see. AND I COULD NOT.

[poshcat.livejournal.com]

Good Lord. Is there no hope for any of us now?!?! LOL.

Was it the Serbian movie? Tell me there's nothing worse than the Serbian movie.

Now I'm sort of off chocolate chip cookies, too. Damn you, creepy movie makers! Damn you to hell for the unfortunate unintentional mental associations!

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

It's the Serbian movie coupled with some weird fetishes and that was what DID ME IN. I would say that there's nothing worse than that movie, then that just means someone will have to challenge that, SO I WON'T.

I AM GOING TO REMOVE CHOCOLATE CHIP COOKIE FROM THIS POST JUST FOR YOU. I made a second post with a delicious recipe that is TOTALLY UNRELATED TO ANYTHING AWFUL. They're so good they're healing my broken insides, Posh.

[killiara.livejournal.com]

http://icanhascheezburger.com/

All the kittens you'll ever need.

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

And that is why I've been looking at that (and Cuteoverload) all day.

[inkandchocolate.livejournal.com]

I... have no words. I really do not think I can conceive of anything more OMG-EW inducing than The Human Centipede but clearly my mind is a tiny place since OMG EW THERE ARE WORSE THINGS!!!

I will now plaster the wee-tiny-kitty all over my desk to try and clean my brain out...

Oh internets...

[kseenaa.livejournal.com]

Now that must have been something seriously gross.... o.O I really don't want to know. :-P

[redbrickrose.livejournal.com]

I'm almost curious about what this could be. But I am also terrified.

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

It's something that has been haunting me all day. ME, Hannah! I mean, if you want to know, email me and I'll tell you. But I've been miserable for hours. <-- no fooling.

[elizardbits.livejournal.com]

Oh man, I think one of my most distressing internets moments was actually a surprise bestiality Merlin fic, only because it was TOTALLY SURPRISING. It was the literary equivalent of friday night in high school, sneaking back into your parent's house drunk at 16 and taking off your heels so you can tippytoe through the backyard to the garage door, and then stepping barefoot into a still-warm pile of dogshit. Every other horrible thing I've ever seen on the internets was prefaced by a "lol this is horrible" disclaimer, really.

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

Oh, it's TOTALLY my own fault for clicking all the things I clicked today. And it's left me quoting Pee Wee: "Things you wouldn't understand. Things you couldn't understand. Things you shouldn't understand."

And stepping in warm poop (or vomit) is maybe the worst thing ever. EVER. Things squishing between my toes makes me want to take a hacksaw to the ankle.

[fishwithfeet.livejournal.com]

Okay *delves into her macros*

I'll start you off with a nice video of my husband and our cat Velociraptor, formally named Fenchurch. You'll see why we changed the name.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sfdiJRhrd7s

(http://s272.photobucket.com/albums/jj168/capsofamy/?action=view&current=sheldon.jpg)

(http://s272.photobucket.com/albums/jj168/capsofamy/?action=view&current=Unicornbutcherchart.jpg)

(http://s272.photobucket.com/albums/jj168/capsofamy/?action=view&current=ommmmnonononononono.gif)

(http://s272.photobucket.com/albums/jj168/capsofamy/?action=view&current=isayphyllis.jpg)

(http://s272.photobucket.com/albums/jj168/capsofamy/?action=view&current=imabatdick.jpg)

(http://s272.photobucket.com/albums/jj168/capsofamy/?action=view&current=lovethispost.png)

I feel this is oddly appropriate
(http://s272.photobucket.com/albums/jj168/capsofamy/?action=view&current=Dantes_Internet.jpg)

(http://s272.photobucket.com/albums/jj168/capsofamy/?action=view&current=christian_oppression_pie.png)

(http://s272.photobucket.com/albums/jj168/capsofamy/?action=view&current=abandonthread.gif)

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

OH MY GOD, DANTE'S INTERNET!! (And seriously, the snail gif is a thing of WONDER.)

THANK YOU.

[soberloki.livejournal.com]

Erm... my little ginger kitty is a lovebug and is now allowed to sleep with us - is that a lift?

Also, have cute cats that are not mine:
(http://smg.photobucket.com/albums/v299/SoberLoki/LJ%20stuffs/animal%20macros/?action=view&current=canyouhearmenow.jpg)

(http://smg.photobucket.com/albums/v299/SoberLoki/LJ%20stuffs/animal%20macros/?action=view&current=1168705855-happycat.jpg)

(http://smg.photobucket.com/albums/v299/SoberLoki/LJ%20stuffs/animal%20macros/?action=view&current=1168702253-shoryukenou0.jpg)

(http://smg.photobucket.com/albums/v299/SoberLoki/LJ%20stuffs/animal%20macros/?action=view&current=1168702253-1166889894407023.jpg)

(http://smg.photobucket.com/albums/v299/SoberLoki/LJ%20stuffs/animal%20macros/?action=view&current=1166737792-1163115530012.jpg)

(http://smg.photobucket.com/albums/v299/SoberLoki/LJ%20stuffs/animal%20macros/?action=view&current=1166468271-FoiledAgain.jpg)

[dovil.livejournal.com]

And then I clicked on some things this morning. And for the first time IN MY LIFE, I couldn't finish my breakfast. (Yeah. I can EAT while watching/reading that stuff, that's how iron-clad my belleh is.) NOPE. I AM FOREVER RUINED.

Jesus, I send you holiday snaps of me in a bikini and now it's all "I'm ruined! I can't eat my breakfast! I'm blind and my will to live is no more". WHY MUST YOU HATE?!

[poshcat.livejournal.com]

Bwahahaha! You win the thread.

[ladycyndra.livejournal.com]

I will NEVER watch that two girls one cup vid. NEVER. I throw up enough as it is. Props that you could watch it. @_@

[zyrya]

Thank you for not making links to the Horror! I'm about to go to bed, and I'm so susceptible I think I'll leave a light on just in case the internet creeps out of my study and up the hall to ...

Ohh this is not good.