I don't meme. Except for this one time.

[stoney321]

Blame elizardbits for posting one. When have you ever known a Texan and a New Yorker to not have a pissing contest? (Lol.)

Go to google and type "you know you're from [your state] when"> and bold the ones that apply. [Note:] if you do this, do this on your blog, not in my comments. They're huge. That may sound weird to some of you, but people do this all the time over here, I don't know why. Sharing is caring? IDEK. :)


Holy crap, this one was long. Well, it's the biggest state in the Lower 48, I guess? I did delete some, too. They were just "Yay Texas, Whoo hoo!" <-- normally what I would share. :D

1. You see more Texan flags than American flags. We're the only state allowed to fly our flag as high as the US flag, btw.


2. You know someone who ate the 72 oz steak and got it for free. I do. I also used to go to Judge Roy Bean's with the family and get the 72 oz hamburger where we'd slice it up like a pizza and eat that. Damn.


3. You attend a formal event in your best clothes, your finest jewelry, and your Cowboy Boots. [Okay, I don't, but I wouldn't bat an eye at that. It's not like someone would wear some Ropin' boots (Justins) but Luchesse's or Black Jack's, and those are hand made, gorgeous, and can get up to 10K. They're the cowboy version of Manolos.]


4. You can write a check at Dairy Queen for 2 Hungr-Busters and fries. [OMG, I've not been to a Dairy Queen in ages. Peanut Butter Parfait was my poison. Now that makes me want to puke.]


5. You prefer Whataburger to McDonalds. Hell yes.


6. You dress up to go shopping at the mall. Don't you? That way you can see how the outfit will look when you wear it, right?


7. You've hung ornaments and tinsel on a tumbleweed and used it as a Christmas tree. [SHUT UP. We don't do this, unless it's with irony. I'm assuming. I'm not living in the Ponderosa.]


8. You're disappointed when a food doesn't come in spicy flavor. Chipotle in everything!!! Or at least some Ancho pepper.


9. You know from experience that rattlesnake meat tastes like chicken. Spicy, wild chicken. Ditto for copperheads. :)


10. You can tell a rock from an armadillo at 300 yards. [This is ridiculous. Armadillos are nocturnal and cowboys/folks don't keep night vision on their saddles. o_0]


11. You know what a 'Cowboy Cadillac' is. My husband drives one. :)


12. You have both a dog and a brother-in-law named Bud [This is stupid. It should be "Wayne."]


13. Your local grocery store sells cactus in the Fresh Produce department Sí! Es muy delicioso!


14. You watch the movie Urban Cowboy and laugh at the phony Texan accents Or most things about "Texans." Minus FNL. Spot on. But then, Buddy Garrity is from Waco.


15. You choose a brand of Mexican salsa with the same care that another might use to select a bottle of fine wine AUGH, PACE PICANTE COMMERCIALS MAKE ME RAGE. That stuff is what people OUTSIDE love. That stuff is crap. There are so many nuances to a fine salsa...


16. You think that the 4 basic food groups are nachos, bar-b-que, fajitas, and Copenhagen. [GRODY.]


17. You refer to the Dallas Cowboys as "God's favorite football team" And guys? I don't even BELIEVE in God, yet I believe this. DALLAS COWBOYS!!!


18. You know whether another Texan is from South, West, East, North, or Central Texas as soon as they open their mouth. Pretty much.


19. You don't consider people from Austin to be real Texans. [EFF YOU. EFF YOU IN THE A.]


20. Your Pastor wears boots. [WTF? Everyone wears boots, except for a few businessmen in Dallas. And my sister. Lol.]


21. There is no such thing as a "secret" sin. [WHAT DOES THIS MEAN.]


22. Armadillos sleep in the middle of the road with their feet in the air. [How is this... Although, it's true. lol. There's a song: "The only Armadillos that you'll ever see in Texas are the dead ones lying in the road, kuthunk, kathunk, kathunk."]


23. You cannot find a country road without a curve from corner to corner.


24. The wind blows at 90 MPH from Oct. 2 until June 25, then it stops totally until Oct 2. Not entirely true, but it FEELS that way. Except for the breeze blowing right now. Hmm.


25. Fire ants consider your flesh as a picnic. You better cry for ME, Argentina, because they came from YOUR LAND. *cry* I hate them with a VENGEANCE.


26. Coldbeer actually is one word. [WRONG. It's COBEER. There is no L nor D in that phrase.]


27. People really grow and eat okra. But I am not one of them. I'll eat it in gumbo or deep fried, but that's it.


28. Fixinto is one word. Why doesn't everyone say this? "I'm fixin to go to the store." Fixin' to = about to/preparing to. Screw you, it's how I talk.


29. Jeeet? is actually a phrase meaning Did you eat? The proper response would be: "Naw jew? Squeet." ;)


30. You've had to switch from heat to A/C in the same day. If you don't like the weather, wait a few minutes.


31. You know what cow tipping and snipe hunting is. Yeah, it's called summer camp. I think we all know this, though.


32. You know all four seasons: Almost summer, summer, Still summer, and Christmas. Lol.


33. You describe the first cool snap (below 70 degrees) as good chili weather. ZOMG I cannot wait for winter. LOL.


34. A carbonated soft drink isn't a soda, cola, or pop .. its a Coke, regardless of brand or flavor. Yes. Always. Always Always. "You wanna coke?" Sure. "What kind?" Dr. Pepper.


35. You can say 110 degrees without fainting.


36. You eat hot chilies to cool your mouth off. It works, too.


37. You can make instant sun tea True story: I hate iced tea. HATE. (That's the old Mormon in me. I'm mostly alone on that one.)


38. You notice the best parking place is determined by shade instead of distance Parked at the end of the lot yesterday just because there was a tree, in fact.


39. It's noon in July, kids are on summer vacation, and not one person is out on the streets See: 110 degrees.


40. No one would dream of putting vinyl upholstery in a car or not having air conditioning I feel bad when I see people from up north in their cars with the windows rolled down. You won't find a car sold here without A/C, unless it came from up north. Truly. It's practically against the law.


41. You can drive all day and not leave the state 14 hours from Dallas to El Paso. And Dallas is 2.5 hours from Shreveport, the other end.


42. You shop at HEB [I WISH! I loved Central Market.]


43. The town you live in is bigger than Rhode island Well, that was true when I lived in Dallas, for sure.


44. You see more trucks on your daily commute than you'll see in the state of New Jersey [What the hell do they drive in Jersey? Faux Bentleys? Lol. This shit is racist against Texans.]


45. We don't have an ocean; we have a gulf CRY. :(


46. You eat tacos for breakfast Sí!!! Migas, por favor, con chorizo.


47. You think Dr. Pepper is the best damn coke in the world When I drink them, I drink the Doctor.


48. We panic when there is an inch of snow on the ground What do you mean "we" Kemosabe? The natives? Yes. Me, who lived in the Uintas? No. :)


49. Air conditioning is standard on every car sold here


50. You have 10 favorite recipes for deer meat. And 10 more for Wild Boar!


51. You can properly pronounce Corsicana, Ennis, Waxahachie, Palestine, Decatur, Wichita Falls, San Antonio, Mexia, Waco, and Amarillo I will happily help y'all with that, too, should you need it. And add in Bexar, but why is Witchita Falls in there? How else could you say it? It's WITCH-ih-tah falls. ??


52. A tornado warning siren is your signal to go out in the yard and look for a funnel. LOL. ....true.


53. We open doors for women. That is applied to all women, regardless of age. I love this, feminism or no. It's just respectful and not degrating. The idea isn't that you CAN'T open the door, but another person CAN. Example: I open a door for older women, too. It's a show of respect to their age, etc. *shrug* I like politeness, what can I say.

...those didn't really seem like the "you know you're from, when" type things, but eh.

Gotta pay a speeding ticket today (omg, my first ticket of any kind in almost TWENTY YEARS, WTH??) and I'm not happy about it. Mostly because I sped up to pass some Californian going below the posted limit. seriously, what is it with Californians and slow driving? Always true here, whyyyyy??? You don't go SLOWER than the speed limit, that's what we locals consider "the slowest you CAN go." Lol. And on country roads? It's just a suggestion. Hahaha. I'm surprised I've not had more tickets, after writing that. Look: it takes forever to get anywhere here because it's all sprawled out. So we drive fast to get somewhere.)

LAST THING: THE LEFT LANE IS THE FAST LANE, OMG. Get out if someone's going faster than you. It's also not the PHONE CONVO LANE. I think people ride in the far left while talking so they don't have to watch TWO lanes of traffic. That's my theory, and it feels sound.

My shoulders hurt from lifting weights. Someone scratch my nose for me.

Comments

[swmbo.livejournal.com]

My favorite part is where you yell about where it's totally wrong. Particularly armadillos and 'secret' sin (I don't know what that means, either!!)

I like your phone convo lane theory.

*scritches your nose*

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

IT IS TOTALLY WRONG!! And I have no idea what "secret sin" means. Help me, O flist!

*passes you some wipes for the sticky melon juice*

[wickedsin.livejournal.com]

omg, this makes me miss Dallas so much

(even though I'm from California, I'm really a Texan, in my heart.)

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

Spoken like a true Texan. :D

[menomegirl.livejournal.com]

Ah ha ha! I love your comments.

Hee-When I'm out in public, I rarely ever have to open my own door and I open doors for everybody, regardless of age, sex or disability.

#21-wtf?

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

Yes yes yes - the door opening! It's just nice.

I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT 21 IS.

[furikku.livejournal.com]

Quite a few of those Texas things apply to Alabama, too. Keen. :D

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

There's bound to be some overlap. I assume you mean the "Wayne" bit? Lol.

[tabaqui]

Maybe a 'secret' sin is one that nobody should no about, but everybody in Texas gossips so everybody knows? I have no clue.

I think every single one of these that i've seen has had the 'don't like the weather? wait five minutes' line. Everybody thinks that about their state, heh.

I mostly don't fit the Missouri ones 'cause my parents weren't 'from' here, really - my mom grew up in St. Louis with people from up north and Germany, and my dad in Massachusetts and were more like them than 'locals'. I've even been asked, in my life, on several occasions, if i'm 'from England'. Heh.

[turnonmyheels.livejournal.com]

I cannot resist. I must do it too.

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

YAY!

[crazydiamondsue.livejournal.com]

I did not know this about you and iced tea (possibly because I didn't know about the "no caffeine" thing until I met you and Carrie.) I like sweet tea (of course I do.)

[This is stupid. It should be "Wayne."] Hee. Also, it reminded me of your family member with kids named after him. You know what I mean.

I would do OK in my journal, but I'm sure it's pretty similar to Texas without all the awesome parts. :( Your flag is the prettiest. I'm just sayin'.

[menomegirl.livejournal.com]

oh my god, you gotta do it! cause I wanna read it!

[gabzilla.livejournal.com]

Ok, that meme made me lol - remembering with a cringe life living in Plano. (btw, only 2 seasons in CO: Winter and Construction season, MD has 10billion different levels of humid swamp seasons)

Good God, yes you do have to drive fast to get anywhere in Texas. Although I do have to disagree with your theory about people driving in the fast lane while talking on the phone. I say they're just idiots. Plain and simple.

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

Just so you know, I say "Matt. Damon." every time you use that icon. Not that it's a bad thing.

Plano! Where snobs and cowboys and immigrants don't mix, amirite?

Well, I think they're idiots, too, but I think that's THEIR reasoning.

[heatherbird.livejournal.com]

27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 34, 37, 38, 44, 50, and 53 could all go for Virginia as well :)

[authormichals.livejournal.com]

You've had to switch from heat to A/C in the same day.
You know what cow tipping and snipe hunting is.
These are actually on the Wisconsin one too!

LAST THING: THE LEFT LANE IS THE FAST LANE, OMG. Get out if someone's going faster than you.
Oh lord, my mother is practically starting a public awareness campaign for this fact - at the very least I hear about every time we're in the car together. (I agree though)

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

I'm about to make and pass out bumper stickers, it drives me so crazy.

[underthethrow.livejournal.com]

What's the deal with the funnel thing

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

? As in the tornado squestion? Tornados = funnel clouds.

[killiara.livejournal.com]

As an El Pasoan... yes. To most of this.

And for the record, I wore white cowboy boots to my wedding under that fluffy dress. No one saw em till it was time for the garter toss, but boy was I comfortable.

[killiara.livejournal.com]

And 15. YES. Mein GOTT why do people eat that crap? Thanks to my favorite local restaurant, pancakes just don't taste right anymore without a lingering salsa burn on my tounge from the complimentary chips and salsa. ^_^

[ladycyndra.livejournal.com]

We decorate tumbleweeds? *blink* Since when? WHAT DID I MISS?? AND YES ABOUT THE DALLAS COWBOYS!!!

*coughs* I got excited. <_<

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

The decorate tumbleweed thing... maybe in a NYC magazine spread about "Texans" you know?

[beyondtherubicon]

You see more trucks on your daily commute than you'll see in the state of New Jersey [What the hell do they drive in Jersey? Faux Bentleys? Lol. This shit is racist against Texans.]

According to the Jersey version of this that I took we all drive Camaros. Never owned one which I guess is why I live in VA now. :)

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

LOL. And come on, how many Escalades are there in Wayne County? That's just like here. ;)

[julia-here.livejournal.com]

People from Waco put way more vowels in there than one would think possible. My husband's Cousin Horace, a retired Texas Ranger, can fit three of them before the "c."

Julia, having a particularly Washington summer, with, so far, two days above 80F

[dampersnspoons.livejournal.com]

yay, stereotypes!!! HAHAHAHA

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

HAHAHAHAHA, exactly!! If only someone would work a comedy routine based on these types of stereotypes. Or all about them being blind. Or how women and men are different. Or how white people are like "This" and black people are all like "this." Haha.

That's why comedy is dead, Beth, because no one is doing this. If only someone would use a fake Arkansas accent and coin a phrase, IF ONLY!!1

[maybe1ce.livejournal.com]

You've had to switch from heat to A/C in the same day.


I think that one is on EVERY SINGLE ONE of these lists. Maybe not San Diego.

[rocketlaunching.livejournal.com]

October 2nd is my birthday. I also love how you threw in a bit about FNL. 4 seasons and it still hasn't jumped the shark <3

I totally want to visit Texas someday. Perpetual summer, barbeque, and cowboys.... Mmmm. I'm jealous, haha.

OH MAN JUDGE BEANS.

[lavenderfrost.livejournal.com]

I grew up on that restaurant, I swear. My parents took me there at least once a week as a child. *mouth waters*

I never ate their steak, but I LOVED their cheese fries (extra cheese & ranch, sans bacon/peppers/chives), and their chocolate cake is the standard by which I now judge any other chocolate cake EVER.

Sadly, a few have come close, but all other chocolate cakes still come up short. ;_;

[pickledprose.livejournal.com]

Not Texan but I like this. I love how most of it can go for all of the states south of the Mason Dixon. Except for the flag thing of course. Y'all have got us all beat with your pride. I don't think any citizens in any state have as much pride as Texans. I use to stay in Gladewater a lot when my grand father was still living. I miss walking down to the "antique" stores. I know now that it was mostly junk but it all looked so amazing when I was a kid :')

[pickledprose.livejournal.com]

While on the subject of southern stuff, I just learned this year that Canadians call all of us Yankees no matter where we are from. The first time I got called a Yank I was like o.O I'm from Louisiana and live in Arkansas. I had to have someone explain it to me lol.

[elizardbits.livejournal.com]

We're the only state allowed to fly our flag as high as the US flag, btw.

Whatevs, you know it's just because no one wants to tell you guys otherwise.


You choose a brand of Mexican salsa with the same care that another might use to select a bottle of fine wine

I still can't believe people buy ready-made salsa in stores. WTF.

[txvoodoo.livejournal.com]

"I still can't believe people buy ready-made salsa in stores. WTF."

OK, I just reassured myself that despite being here for 11 years, I'm still a Yankee :D

[veracity]

LAST THING: THE LEFT LANE IS THE FAST LANE, OMG. Get out if someone's going faster than you. It's also not the PHONE CONVO LANE. I think people ride in the far left while talking so they don't have to watch TWO lanes of traffic. That's my theory, and it feels sound.

Yes, yes indeed. I HATE that around these parts. I wanna hit somebody, frequently. Look, it's the passing lane. There is NO SECOND SLOW LANE, okay? If you can't drive 45 mph on a normal parkway, out of MY way, please.

I got my first speeding ticket last year because I was passing a car that cut me off by crossing two lanes of traffic in a short span to get into the turning lane. It was one of those one cop calls it in and someone else gives the ticket in a blind spot. So they don't get the person that nearly causes an accident, but the one avoiding it. Good job, cops! That'll really slow the people down. ("This is a zero tolerance area since residents have been complaining." Might I suggest you NOT be looking Peachtree Street then, and sticking to the side streets where people are doing 50 in a 35.) Instead of enforcing the no cellphone and driving law. Way to go. I was scared to death, too. Like I turn white when I drive there, but I was going to school and it was the most straight shot way.

Oh, and it was also the day of my midterms.

Yes. Always. Always Always. "You wanna coke?" Sure. "What kind?" Dr. Pepper.

Coke is always the appropriate comment. I'm born and raised in the land of Coke. Diet Dr. Pepper is the most superior of the diet drinks, though. I drink the heck out of it, with Coke Zero a distant second. I want Diet Dr. Pepper now, but sadly, I only have sweet tea. Of course, the only way to drink THAT is by steeping 5 family size Luzianne tea bags for 3 hours. My tea could make the world stay up for six hours easy. I loves my sweet tea. (Cost effective, too.)

[ghymoreid.livejournal.com]

Wild boar recipes you say? I've just found a local supplier of said meat, and am looking for inspiration. I can get fillets or back straps. I've used the fillets with bacon as a substitute for bones in pea and ham soup, but other than that ... I can haz cooking hints plz?

[ghymoreid.livejournal.com]

Oh, and where I'm from all soft drink is referred to as "ginger". Doesn't matter how much Coke or Pepsi spend on advertising and brand recognition, if it's fizzy and non-alcoholic, it's ginger. (Also, where I'm from is one of only two places in the whole world where Coke is out-sold by a local product. The other is somewhere in South America where said local product contains enough guarana to have you climbing trees by running up them ...)

[txvoodoo.livejournal.com]

I don't understand this BOOTS thing. Texas is too friggin hot for boots. I substitute sandles wherever I see boots!

"If you don't like the weather, wait a few minutes."

See, I understood that when I lived in Florida. It DOES do that there. Up here, in Dallas area? No. It's "you will endure hot heat for 7 months, then freeze your ass off"

Apologies for multi-editing.

"You see more trucks on your daily commute than you'll see in the state of New Jersey"

LIES. NJ has much much rural area!

"You can properly pronounce Corsicana, Ennis, Waxahachie, Palestine, Decatur, Wichita Falls, San Antonio, Mexia, Waco, and Amarillo"

OH SHIT. I CAN. Does that mean I'm a Texan now? Then again, I drive at the speed limit.

[may-lyn.livejournal.com]

how's about a tumbleweed snowman? with peppers for the face? it was great.

and we're in el paso....the middle of nowhere. and yet, across the rio pathetico, there's a massive drug war going on in juarez! (5000 people murdered in 2 years.)

but here, we're pretty safe. and.....tamales. i adore tamales. cut me and i bleed tamales.

my parties all have wonderful hot and spicy foods, and some for the ultra mild people.