Before it starts getting dark out there...
Dec. 1st, 2010 01:51 pmI wanted to wish my Jewish friends a Happy Chanukah. May your candle burn bright!
Now, in more blasphemous news, I'm probably going to offend someone with this. Eh, it makes me laugh, and I'm not putting it in your home, so....
As many of you know (and if you've ever looked at my user info page) you'll note that I am a heathen. A horrorshow on two legs. Yes, Virginia, I am an atheist. But! I adore Christmas. By which I mean that I adore Western/Modern Christmas which is all about trampling people to death to buy an electronic race track that your children will be bored with after fifteen minutes of play and also the time-honored tradition of over eating.
That's a holiday I can support.
OK, OK, I have never and WILL NEVER shop on a Black Friday, I try to buy things that have meaning/use for people I love with no expectations of getting things in return, and I delight in twinkle lights and the smell of fresh cut pine/cedar, and come on, FUDGE. Plus, fancy meals that I get to cook for those I love because I'm actually a terrible gift-giver. Unless it's a meal, then I will stuff you to the gills and ply you with wine until you admit you love me.
(I'm a neglected middle child, what can I say.)
I also have always had a fascination with things like doll houses, models of ships and things, weetiny spaces with weetiny furnishings in which to fill said space. My Papa had a model ship that I would walk my fingers over every time I visited. I'd scramble up the cargo net and walk the plank and secretly wish I could take it home with me. I had a Barbie Dreamhouse (the kind with the elevator on the side that was 3 stories and it was made out of cardboard, not the fancy plastic one) that had me believing in Santa for years. True story. (I thought it must cost a million, trillion dollars - it was a dream house, people - and there was no way my parents could afford it, ergo, Santa is real. I was in the third grade.)
As a child we had an old school Nativity that went on a shelf (we didn't have a mantle, or as my sister called it, a Withcare. I'll give you a minute to decipher that one, ADORABLE.) and it had porcelain figurines that accompanied it, a pure white angle that hung off the top of the manger, a blond, blue-eyed baby Jesus (lol) in a little portable manger and some cows, not to mention the 3 Wise Men, Mary and Joseph. AWESOME. I got in a lot of trouble as a little girl for playing with them. "You don't play with the baby Jesus, Laura Anne, they're sacred!"
Well, they shouldn't have made him so cute, huh? Probably should have put some spring traps on the figurines that shoot out spikes to make you drop it.
Anyway, I don't put out a Nativity because I get that it's sacred to a lot of you. (You in general, I know you're all on the internets and can't see my house, and if you can, YOU NEED TO STOP, CREEPY CREEPER.) But I want one this year. I don't want a Baby Jesus Proper Nativity, I want the following figurines:
For Baby Jesus: Wee Cthulhu (I found one with a bobbing head!)
For the Angel on High: The Spider Woman who created the universe by spinning a web
For Mary: Kali
For Joseph: a Cylon action figure
For the 3 Wise Men: Albert Einstein action figure, Charles Darwin, and if I can find it, Carl Sagan action figure. (Otherwise I might go with a Spike figure as a Wise Ass Man.)
For the barn animals: Assorted random animal figurines like a platypus, a unicorn, etc. etc.
THIS PLEASES ME GREATLY. I know it's offensive to someone out there, but I'm just playing around with mythical creatures (barring the Wise Men) because I think it's kinda hilarious. I would, um, hide it when my folks came over, or just not put it out where prominent so as to not offend them to their faces. See? I'm not so horrible!
Oh, I am, who are we kidding. CTHUHLU! The Great Old One on my mantle, stealing the soul of all who enter. It would be pretty awesome.
and I've kinda already started buying the figurines...
Finishing up prompts from yesterday will have to be put on hold as I've remembered a project I didn't finish before the guests came. I have GOT to be better about finishing things, ugh.
Also, there's half a pan of fudge in my kitchen, and I kinda need a nom.
Now, in more blasphemous news, I'm probably going to offend someone with this. Eh, it makes me laugh, and I'm not putting it in your home, so....
As many of you know (and if you've ever looked at my user info page) you'll note that I am a heathen. A horrorshow on two legs. Yes, Virginia, I am an atheist. But! I adore Christmas. By which I mean that I adore Western/Modern Christmas which is all about trampling people to death to buy an electronic race track that your children will be bored with after fifteen minutes of play and also the time-honored tradition of over eating.
That's a holiday I can support.
OK, OK, I have never and WILL NEVER shop on a Black Friday, I try to buy things that have meaning/use for people I love with no expectations of getting things in return, and I delight in twinkle lights and the smell of fresh cut pine/cedar, and come on, FUDGE. Plus, fancy meals that I get to cook for those I love because I'm actually a terrible gift-giver. Unless it's a meal, then I will stuff you to the gills and ply you with wine until you admit you love me.
(I'm a neglected middle child, what can I say.)
I also have always had a fascination with things like doll houses, models of ships and things, weetiny spaces with weetiny furnishings in which to fill said space. My Papa had a model ship that I would walk my fingers over every time I visited. I'd scramble up the cargo net and walk the plank and secretly wish I could take it home with me. I had a Barbie Dreamhouse (the kind with the elevator on the side that was 3 stories and it was made out of cardboard, not the fancy plastic one) that had me believing in Santa for years. True story. (I thought it must cost a million, trillion dollars - it was a dream house, people - and there was no way my parents could afford it, ergo, Santa is real. I was in the third grade.)
As a child we had an old school Nativity that went on a shelf (we didn't have a mantle, or as my sister called it, a Withcare. I'll give you a minute to decipher that one, ADORABLE.) and it had porcelain figurines that accompanied it, a pure white angle that hung off the top of the manger, a blond, blue-eyed baby Jesus (lol) in a little portable manger and some cows, not to mention the 3 Wise Men, Mary and Joseph. AWESOME. I got in a lot of trouble as a little girl for playing with them. "You don't play with the baby Jesus, Laura Anne, they're sacred!"
Well, they shouldn't have made him so cute, huh? Probably should have put some spring traps on the figurines that shoot out spikes to make you drop it.
Anyway, I don't put out a Nativity because I get that it's sacred to a lot of you. (You in general, I know you're all on the internets and can't see my house, and if you can, YOU NEED TO STOP, CREEPY CREEPER.) But I want one this year. I don't want a Baby Jesus Proper Nativity, I want the following figurines:
For Baby Jesus: Wee Cthulhu (I found one with a bobbing head!)
For the Angel on High: The Spider Woman who created the universe by spinning a web
For Mary: Kali
For Joseph: a Cylon action figure
For the 3 Wise Men: Albert Einstein action figure, Charles Darwin, and if I can find it, Carl Sagan action figure. (Otherwise I might go with a Spike figure as a Wise Ass Man.)
For the barn animals: Assorted random animal figurines like a platypus, a unicorn, etc. etc.
THIS PLEASES ME GREATLY. I know it's offensive to someone out there, but I'm just playing around with mythical creatures (barring the Wise Men) because I think it's kinda hilarious. I would, um, hide it when my folks came over, or just not put it out where prominent so as to not offend them to their faces. See? I'm not so horrible!
Oh, I am, who are we kidding. CTHUHLU! The Great Old One on my mantle, stealing the soul of all who enter. It would be pretty awesome.
and I've kinda already started buying the figurines...
Finishing up prompts from yesterday will have to be put on hold as I've remembered a project I didn't finish before the guests came. I have GOT to be better about finishing things, ugh.
Also, there's half a pan of fudge in my kitchen, and I kinda need a nom.
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Date: 2010-12-01 07:58 pm (UTC)I have a bajillionty nativity sets, but no Cthulhu.
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Date: 2010-12-01 08:02 pm (UTC)THEY ARE JUST FUN, WHAT CAN I SAY?
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Date: 2010-12-01 08:00 pm (UTC)If someone's offended, they need to be.
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Date: 2010-12-01 08:03 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-12-01 08:00 pm (UTC)no subject
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Date: 2010-12-01 08:20 pm (UTC)ION: I also had the cardboard three-story Barbie dreamhouse with the elevator! Best part was that the elevator sides only went up about halfway and Barbie would always fall out on the way up. IT'S A DREAMHOUSE, BARBIE, NOT A DEATHHOUSE.
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Date: 2010-12-01 08:27 pm (UTC)Ahahaha, I forgot about Barbie falling out of it. I do remember the swanky mid-century decorations (and pool!) photographs that were glued to the cardboard "walls."
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Date: 2010-12-01 08:22 pm (UTC)I find it hilarious, though.
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Date: 2010-12-01 08:28 pm (UTC)(no subject)
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Date: 2010-12-01 08:34 pm (UTC)Or rather, I'm coming in to your house for Christmas. Creeping is a lonely business. Besides, it's cold out here and these shrubs chafe.
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Date: 2010-12-01 08:44 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-12-01 08:34 pm (UTC)And you said, "I have GOT to be better about finishing things, ugh."
You could finish that pan of fudge. That would be finishing something. ;)
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Date: 2010-12-01 08:44 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-12-01 08:45 pm (UTC)http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z42AxgFMb8k
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Date: 2010-12-01 09:39 pm (UTC)(no subject)
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Date: 2010-12-01 08:51 pm (UTC)There are a lot of these on YouTube. I've been happily memorizing them for the holiday season. I especially recommend "Oh, Cthulhu!" "Silent Night, Blasphemous Night" and "Awake Ye Scary Great Old Ones."
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Date: 2010-12-01 09:19 pm (UTC)(no subject)
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Date: 2010-12-01 09:08 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-12-01 09:46 pm (UTC)Have a lovely night tonight! (One of eight...crazy...niiiiiights!)
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Date: 2010-12-01 09:13 pm (UTC)I got interested and started looking up historical action figures. Jesus! Chief Crazy Horse! Blackbeard! You could stage an entire play with these things. It's amazing. Didn't see any Carl Sagan action figures, though I did see a lot of people saying they'd buy one.
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Date: 2010-12-01 09:46 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-12-01 09:16 pm (UTC)Gordok, did you know? (It's not the only one I sing. I also sing Kendra, The Irksome Slayer upon occasion. With a really bad Jamaican accent for authenticity.)
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Date: 2010-12-01 09:48 pm (UTC)Ahahaha, that's because you are my friend and you love me. (True story, TIFFANY sings "Gordok, Did you know?" every year, too. She knows nothing of fandom, she just thinks that's weirdly hilarious. Tiffany. I KNOW.)
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Date: 2010-12-01 09:33 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-12-01 09:48 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-12-01 09:36 pm (UTC)Me too! Sometimes it's awkward. I *love* the sound of your nativity. But I think you accidentally missed the Flying Spaghetti Monster.
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Date: 2010-12-01 09:50 pm (UTC)Everyone's represented! I think I'm going to make the manger shaped like a TARDIS. Lol.
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Date: 2010-12-01 09:46 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-12-01 09:51 pm (UTC)(no subject)
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Date: 2010-12-01 10:13 pm (UTC)It all started with a trip to Disney World when I was 7. We picked up Snow White and the Dwarves and then it just snowballed from there. My grandma was HORRIFIED the first time she saw it. Now it's just fun.
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Date: 2010-12-01 10:20 pm (UTC)(no subject)
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Date: 2010-12-01 10:14 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-12-01 11:14 pm (UTC)(no subject)
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Date: 2010-12-01 10:14 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-12-01 10:19 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-12-01 11:02 pm (UTC)(no subject)
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Date: 2010-12-01 10:22 pm (UTC)(Hi. I'm new to LJ and enjoy your writing very much.)
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Date: 2010-12-01 11:02 pm (UTC)Hello, and thank you very much!
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Date: 2010-12-01 10:25 pm (UTC)ALL OF IT.
FOREVER.
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Date: 2010-12-01 11:01 pm (UTC)AND EVER.
AND EVER.
AND EVER.
AND EVER.
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Date: 2010-12-01 10:29 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-12-01 11:15 pm (UTC)(lol) That is absolutely WONDERFUL and HILAIROUS.
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Date: 2010-12-01 11:29 pm (UTC)Also, one year in Spain, when we were all wrecked on Eiswein, we plotted to steal the baby Jesus from the nativity scene in the middle of town, which was approximately the size of a transoceanic shipping container, and return it on christmas morning LIKE A CHRISTMAS MIRACLE but we were pretty sure we'd be lynched.
The Great Old One on my mantle, stealing the soul of all who enter.
you are really going to enjoy my xmas cards this year, then
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Date: 2010-12-01 11:50 pm (UTC)AHAHAHAHA, you should have thrown it in the water, waiting for it to bob then said, OOPSIE, I'M NOT IN ITALY, WRONG HOLIDAY, MY BAD. I think we all would have laughed AND learned a great lesson. *upside down smile*
WHEEEE, you are the bestest, but you know that already.
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Date: 2010-12-01 11:50 pm (UTC)no subject
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