Coon pecker.

[stoney321]

This was said to me today at the pool supply store. The lady was describing what her in laws use for toothpicks. See, they trap raccoons, cut them off, and then dry them to be used as toothpicks.

You can't make this shit up. You can try, but it wouldn't be as funny or bizarre.

In non hillbilly news, how about that Real Housewives of Beverly Hills last night? OMG. This is the season, you guys. Catch up with my recaps, then set your DVRs for Monday night. Wow.

Also, Breaking Bad went up last night, so those of you that love good TV: there you go.

And the LAST GLEE REWATCH-RECAP IS UP. Just in time for the new season to start tonight. *thunk*

ION, coon pecker.

Comments

[gottriplets.livejournal.com]

You win the internets. I am so excited about Glee tonight that it was a welcome treat to get to read your snark (and add some of my own)!

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

YAY!! *takes sceptre and stomps around, GRAND EMPRESS OF INNERNETTUBES*

[gottriplets.livejournal.com]

I need to come up with a good song for your first dance...that will require much thought and meditation...
Screw it...dance to Dancing Queen! LOL!

[brunettepet.livejournal.com]

You can't make that shit up, but I really, really wish it was just a joke *shudders* Raccoons freak me out. I can't imagine the first person who dried one of their peckers and used it to pick their teeth *full body twitch*

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

I just... WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY?

[http://users.livejournal.com/_slutknot_/]

Your icon is beautiful.
That is all.

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

It pretty much expresses my life pilosophy.

PATSY. PATSY STONE. STONE. PATSY. PATSY STONE. (oh, how I love AbFab!)

[kuzu-no-ha.livejournal.com]

Sweetie, darling, sweetie.

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

AbFab: one of the greatest shows ever on the tv's.

[http://users.livejournal.com/_slutknot_/]

I feel the same. Granny will always be my favorite though.

Patsy Stone is my spirit animal.
Did you hear that a new series of Ab Fab is in the works?

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

I *did* hear there's a new one! I couldn't be more excited unless I set myself on fire. Which might happen accidentally as I work on my Patsy Stone tribute band, CHEERS, ED.

[http://users.livejournal.com/_slutknot_/]

I think this is my most favorite comment made by anyone ever.

[shabazmataz.livejournal.com]

Nothing like petrified coon dick to clean off that tartar buildup my dentist keeps nagging me about! I imagine a possum pecker might be too small, so I can see they did their research. Who needs mouthwash?

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

Is that not the most hick thing you've ever heard? I LIVE IN A NORMAL SUBURB.

[ladycyndra.livejournal.com]

When I read the title of this post, I thought it was from Weepingcock. XD

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

That used to be my bread and butter, but alas, now it's only on rare occasions....

[shannon-f-r.livejournal.com]

Um...so as I understand it, the choice is between going to all of the trouble of trapping and castrating raccoons, or heading out to the Wal-Mart to buy a 200-pack of toothpicks for $1.50.

The poor really are different than you and me. Although that looks more like enjoying castrating animals than thrift to me.

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

I DO NOT UNDERSTAND EITHER.

Like, I'm trying to figure it out, and I cannot. I CANNOT.

And lol, I think you're right re: where they find their bliss.

[stephanierb.livejournal.com]

See, they trap raccoons, cut them off, and then dry them to be used as toothpicks.

I am not going to be able to get that image out of my brain for a very long time. *shudders*

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

THIS IS ONE OF THE MOST HILLBILLY THINGS I HAVE EVER HEARD. And I live in a middle class/upper middle class suburb. WHERE DID SHE COME FROM?!

[luvxander.livejournal.com]

COOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON PECKER!!!!!!!!!!!!

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

You know I heard that like Sooo-EEEEEEEEEE!

[luvxander.livejournal.com]

As well you should. Because the sooo eee people are the same ones that will stick a coon penis in their mouth.

[entrenous88.livejournal.com]

*cries at this information*

I hope at least they use their coon pecker picks multiple times? Or is it the height of hillbilly chic to throw them away after a single use?

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

I think the point of a coon billy pecker pick is so you can use them over and over and over again.

I DON'T KNOW WHICH IS WORSE I REALLY DONT.

[maybe1ce.livejournal.com]

Damn it, Stoney, you made me google.

Apparently, Raccoon Penis Bones are often made into necklaces and given as a superstitious love token in certain parts of the country. There are many common nicknames for them, most commonly...WAIT FOR IT...

Texas Toothpick.


Enjoy that, you crazy Texans.