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stoney321First. I've watched this grow from email flailings (mostly mine, ha) to something so gorgeous and perfect and sweet and...it's AFTERGLOW. In fic form. Together, by (who else) ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
flaming_muse. It's not porny, because...that would feel intrusive. I know everyone is looking for the dirty dirty since the episode aired, and that feels so wrong to me. Because...it was about love, you know? <--DORK. Whatever.
Look, I've been listening to overwrought French rap about passion and longing for an hour now, so come on, give me a break.
I was just... maudlin yesterday, bursting into tears at the drop of a - oh, wait, was another hat dropped? *crey* There's something connected to "first times" with me, and I think I figured it out (as in figured out my trauma, because I'm apparently slow) that it's about where the future takes you. Maybe it's not the same for dudes, but good lord was that the case for me. I was pressured into my first sexual experience, causing me to spiral into what I call my Mormon Rumspringa (lol) And this was the time that led to me giving up on one of my biggest dreams ever. And it [that long-ago dream] is just not going to happen in my life, because hello, passage of time and life, etc.
And my first wasn't great. At all. And that let to other aspects of myself forced to change into something I didn't set out to be, if that makes sense. So. When I read/watch something where those moments are as they should be, as it was imagined to be and then IS, I just kind of have all of these emotions build of of "what if" and the like. But then I let go of that and remember that my second time was absolutely beautiful. :)
But this story I'm linking you? That's how it's supposed to be after. 100% <3
flaming_muse. It's not porny, because...that would feel intrusive. I know everyone is looking for the dirty dirty since the episode aired, and that feels so wrong to me. Because...it was about love, you know? <--DORK. Whatever.Look, I've been listening to overwrought French rap about passion and longing for an hour now, so come on, give me a break.
I was just... maudlin yesterday, bursting into tears at the drop of a - oh, wait, was another hat dropped? *crey* There's something connected to "first times" with me, and I think I figured it out (as in figured out my trauma, because I'm apparently slow) that it's about where the future takes you. Maybe it's not the same for dudes, but good lord was that the case for me. I was pressured into my first sexual experience, causing me to spiral into what I call my Mormon Rumspringa (lol) And this was the time that led to me giving up on one of my biggest dreams ever. And it [that long-ago dream] is just not going to happen in my life, because hello, passage of time and life, etc.
And my first wasn't great. At all. And that let to other aspects of myself forced to change into something I didn't set out to be, if that makes sense. So. When I read/watch something where those moments are as they should be, as it was imagined to be and then IS, I just kind of have all of these emotions build of of "what if" and the like. But then I let go of that and remember that my second time was absolutely beautiful. :)
But this story I'm linking you? That's how it's supposed to be after. 100% <3
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Date: 2011-11-10 10:58 pm (UTC)And I love you for using the word Rumspringa, although this should not surprise me.
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Date: 2011-11-10 11:09 pm (UTC)Ahaha, this is why we are friends, because we enjoy the peculiarities of religious language. :D
(zomg, you should be sleeping!)
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Date: 2011-11-10 11:17 pm (UTC)ZOMG I should have called the doctor today, that's what I should have done. But I was feeling a bit better until
I stopped writingall of my meds wore off, and now I am sure I have at least one ear infection. I'll have to call in the morning.no subject
Date: 2011-11-10 11:41 pm (UTC)I just filled your inbox with my mothering, because I haaaaaate that I can't stomp over there and fix you myself. <3
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Date: 2011-11-11 02:29 am (UTC)(ugh, first times. STONEY. I KEEP HAVING ALL THE FEELINGS. I officially LOST MY SHIT at Tina's Speech of Awesome and just never found it again.)
ok I'm gonna go read that fic now.
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Date: 2011-11-11 03:21 am (UTC)<3 <3 <3
Also, HOLDS YOU.
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Date: 2011-11-11 03:37 am (UTC)Going over to Flaming Muse right now. I should probably get my box of tissues out.
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Date: 2011-11-11 03:25 pm (UTC)Blaine dancing and being completely unselfconscious remains one of the great moments of the show, for sure.
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Date: 2011-11-11 05:36 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-11-12 02:56 am (UTC)Ditto. This pings me when I see TV/movie/whatever families who, even if they aren't idyllically happy, at least outwardly accept and love each other.
It sucks doing the what if shit. Tears you right up.
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Date: 2011-11-12 03:35 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-12-22 05:53 am (UTC)Glad to know your second time made up for prior wrongs.
Ok - its nearing 1 AM here. I need to stop creeping on your journal and get my ass to bed. ;0)
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Date: 2011-12-22 03:48 pm (UTC)<3