Either I'm really funny, or I'm really sick

[stoney321]

Or both. There's a slim chance it's both. Look, I'm a middle child that grew up without praise, I have to praise myself. There's a dirty joke in there, I just don't have the energy to find it.

HOW IT IS ALMOST CHRISTMAS. Also, why am I stressed since I am not a Christian? Oh, right, because we celebrate Gift-mas. I HAVE to be productive today with more than just writing. So. Antibiotics today, ordering the last of the presents (come on, Amazon!) and then spending the midday with my sister shopping for foods and something for my dad, one of the most difficult people to please. (See: grew up sans praise.)

Real Housewives of Beverly Hills last night - I have figured out that they are what 90210 WISHED it was back in the day. The recap is up (went up last night, see: I have accomplished naught but my writing) and here's an excerpt:

They are so high school, it’s ridiculous. Paul and Adrienne are the couple that has been dating all four years, were the first to Do It, break up every few weeks, but are always together. Lisa is the awesome rich and popular girl (dating the older guy) that floats through most of the cliques and the teachers all like her (one maybe a little too much.) Kyle and Mauricio are the lieutenant of the drill team and the stoner soccer team captain couple. Kim is the sister to one of the popular girls that is really Christian but gets shit-faced on Saturdays – just in time to pray for forgiveness on Sunday, and her boyfriend Ken is the janitor.

Only one more ep, and the season is done, there is Top Chef tomorrow, and then I have the next two weeks off from writing. *crawls* I could probably crack walnuts with my bare hands right now. Or play seven hours of Rachmaninoff without flinching.

PLEASE TELL ME I AM NOT THE ONLY ONE NOT READY FOR THE HOLIDAYS. (And to my Jewish friends, HAPPY HANUKKAH! <-- in case I'm not around after sundown.) <3

Comments

[wolfshark]

I'm mostly ready, but only because I've thrown up my hands and bought giftcards for four out of five niecelings. I need to sit down and wrap presents though.

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

You are so much further along than me. GIFT CARDS. Are they not the greatest thing ever?

[wolfshark]

They really are - even for five year olds - they get to pick their own toys, and I don't feel like a crappy aunt! Win/Win!

[fiveandfour.livejournal.com]

You are not the only one who is not ready for the holidays! Boy, am I behind. Like, shopping just before the mall closes on Christmas Eve behind. In fact, I foresee gifts of hand sanitizer and toilet seat tissues in my family's near future. ::cries::

Meanwhile, I'll have to hop over and read some recaps so I can feel like I accomplished *something* this week.

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

Everyone needs gas station key chains, am I right!? And 5 hour energy drinks? And...slim jims? MERRY SOMETHING!

Ahaha, yes, I fully support you clicking over to HDJM and reading recaps! 4/5 dentists say it improves your CHrismukwanzakuh!

[fiveandfour.livejournal.com]

Slim Jims! Yes! I'll need something to class things up and show my family how much I care. (Plus they'll go great with the Funyons).

Is that fifth dentist an iconoclast or an asshole? I can never decide...

[shabazmataz.livejournal.com]

LET ME HELP YOU BE READY FOR THE HOLIDAYS! Who else do you need presents for besides Dad? Let's shop for dem. Also, if you want to get together earlier than 11:30 I won't complain? But it sounds like you have a hectic morning so whatevs. Also, YAY I GET TO HANG OUT WITH YOU TODAY!

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

Oooh, I like earlier, too! Everyone here is still sleeping, so lemme hop in the shower (I have made the executive decision to not workout, so YAY) and then I'll hit you up. I just got The Mr.'s big gift, and I want to get little things for the cheerins... We'll just have fun. You are the best shopper of amazing things I know.

YAY SISTERS. [/sings our theme song]

[luvxander.livejournal.com]

You are not the only one not ready for the holidays. Did that make sense? It did in my head.

I still have a few gifts to purchase, some locally, some online. Then I have to get wrapping paper and start wrapping things up. All of this cannot be done until thursday when the money magically appears in my checking account.

Then we have to start cooking and going from house to house to do gift exchanges because, for some reason, not everyone can just come here!

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

Oh, god, good reminder for me to buy tape. How else am I going to wrap things? YOU CAN DO IT, CJ. Thurs, Fri, Sat, plenty of time. /wishful drinking. I mean, thinking.

[luvxander.livejournal.com]

LOL!! I do have that half bottle of Rum in the closet that I've been saving....I could fix myself an "energy drink", maybe?

Also, I have decided to use Where There's Smoke as incentive. I am forcing myself to not read the chapter each day until that day's chores are done. Today, I have to clean the kitchen, take out trash, do laundry, and THEN I can read!

Um....why don't I have a maid, again?

[kuzu-no-ha.livejournal.com]

Oh so not ready. NOT READY. And guess who's little munchkin came down with pink eye this morning and had to stay home from preschool? And guess who has a performance in two days? And who has to adjust their costume for their rapidly growing tenant? THIS GAL.

Man it's a good thing I'm not knocked up with a suppressed immune system or anything.....oh wait.

[ruthless1.livejournal.com]

Holidays? What holidays?
*whistles innocently*

[gottriplets.livejournal.com]

I shamelessly worship at the altar of Amazon prime. It's the best money I spend all year...free 2 day shipping saves me (the Queen of disorganization) time and time again.

[fishwithfeet.livejournal.com]

I am not ready for the holidays in that my flight takes off in 12 hours and I haven't packed anything. Not to mention that now I need to bring funeral clothes (for yet another holiday funeral on my husband's side :( ) and our nice clothes are in the house we purchased so I have to over there and unpack that.... Plus I need to decide if I bring 2 weeks worth of clothes or just enough and do laundry several times as we're doing 1 week in one state, flying to another and doing the second week there.

And my mother is insisting we bring an empty suitcase because she's got a grand plan to give us ALL of my old baby things (I'm due in July) and sticking them in baggage is cheaper than shipping them... This holiday is going to be fantastic!

[fishsanwitt]

You are *not* the only one not ready for Christmas!

I will spend tomorrow (Christmas EVE!) scrubbing the floors and the toilet. Merry fucking Christmas!