Why does my dog smell?

[stoney321]

She smells AWFUL. I think she is rolling in a dead animal. But where is the dead animal? In case you failed to realize how gross dogs are, there's your reminder. They set aside special time to really lick their butts. Like, candles and slow-jams special time. You know the scene in the Muppet Movie when Steve Martin unscrews the wine cap and lets Kermit sniff? Dogs would do that with their butt holes if they had opposable thumbs. They would walk around with their unscrewed buttholes offering their particular vintage to anyone. (Cats just jam that shit in your face.)

Proverbs 26, people. Dogs are grody. (I wish she didn't have such a sweet face. I want to hate her for smelling.)

HEY WHO WANTS TO TALK ABOUT TOP CHEF NOW? Everyone? That makes sense; I set the stage so well...

Speaking of my website, we had a BANNER DAY yesterday: over 22,000 hits. In about nine hours, to boot. THAT IS AWESOME. Thank you, everyone, for supporting my ladies! I'm so glad that shows like Spartacus and Ringer are getting a lot of attention. (Not to mention Merlin, SouthLAnd, etc.)

What cracks me up is how people find us. Top Search Terms:

• Sherlock Holmes BBC


• Hey Dont Judge Me


• Spartacus Blonde slave girl


• place cock in ass


• what does og mean southland


• lady sitter kyle


• tiberius place cock in ass


• blonde slave girl


• slave girl blonde spartacus vengeance (I'm seeing a theme...)


• fuck you in the other eye

and I'm not making this one up:

• this week klaus and elijah ask stefan and damon out on a double-date and try to romance them with wine and food and a roaring fire. we all know that klaus has been crushing on stefan since the 1920s but i think elijah is starting to show a definite interest in damon. and who wouldn’t with the way he flirts with absolutely everyone? if the show continues to give us this much pretty in every episode i may never get off my couch.

Okay, gonna wash the dog in vinegar and then go find what is making her reek. MY LIFE IS TRES GLAMOROUS, NON?

Comments

[moosesal.livejournal.com]

what does og mean southland

haha! I guess some people from white suburbia don't have the same life experience as all of us, huh?

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

that one made me laugh pretty hard. There are a few of them like that, too, trying to learn various gangsta terms. LOL.

[moosesal.livejournal.com]

That's not even a new term. I feel so old.

[poshcat.livejournal.com]

I love the top search terms! It's like looking into their very souls. Now I want to go read the recap for Spartacus and the blond slave girl!

And congrats on the benchmark day!

[moosesal.livejournal.com]

You should totally read the Spartacus recaps. I don't watch the show, but reading the recap yesterday was cracking me up.

[poshcat.livejournal.com]

Haha, I just read the latest one and it was hilarious! And gory!!

[elizardbits.livejournal.com]

*PREENS DELIGHTEDLY*

[poshcat.livejournal.com]

Preen baby! Like a boss!

[wesleysgirl.livejournal.com]

Make Your Dog Smell Better (http://www.wikihow.com/Make-Your-Dog-Smell-Better)

:-)

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

THANK YOU!! Hahahaha!

[anniemare.livejournal.com]

Sometimes my Gurlie cat smells like maple syrup. I feel really lucky that when she does smell of something it is something nice.

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

My Smidgen smells like Smudge's breath. (They groom each other, lol.) Sally Derg smells like a skunk's turd.

[anniemare.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I used to groom dogs when I was in college. Some of then definitely had an unholy funk about them.

[lynnenne]

Hahahaha! Someone has clearly been copying and pasting from my LJ. LOVE.

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

I thought that's what it was, lol!!

[mpoetess.livejournal.com]

See, why would anybody need to google place cock in ass, is my question. I mean, you've got the basics right there. Everything else is that pretentious frilly shit the kids these days like to pretend is art.

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

LOL!!!!!! (I think it's a line in her recap, because she's funny like that.) BUT YEAH.

[oaktree89.livejournal.com]

I like that it's "place". Of all the verbs...

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

You know, just lay it in there.

[quietlyboloney.livejournal.com]

dying at unscrewing buttholes, that whole paragraph is incredible

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

I love you most of all, Scarecrow.

<3

[mumsisdaughter]

Obviously, she's been rolling in zombies (while you had your 30 min with feet up and bottle of wine last night)!

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

She DOES smell of the dead... Dear god, what if Z virus is transferable? *SMITES THE DOG*

[turnonmyheels.livejournal.com]

<3

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

<3 to YOU!

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

*trombone* WAH-WAAAAAAAAH! Lol.

[elizardbits.livejournal.com]

Every spring, when my zillion year old eivissenc neighbor would fertilize his fields, my dog would gallop out of the house like a maniac and roll ecstatically in the glorious poops for hours, and then come home and sprawl about on the furniture in his best centerfold poses. DID NOT WANT.

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

My BFF's Blue Healer would find dead, bloated corpses along the river (or animals, lol, not transients) and roll with glee.

JESUS CHRIST NOOOOOOOOOO!

[flaming-muse.livejournal.com]

Well, there goes any desire I had to get a dog. Ew.

SO PROUD OF HDJM AND YOU! <3 <3 <3

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

THIS IS SOMETHING ALL POTENTIAL DOG OWNERS SHOULD KNOW.

I love you THIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIS much! Times infinity. Plus one.

[zyrya]

My car air conditioning smells like dog. I do not have a dog!

[stoney321.livejournal.com]

You have a phantomdog - a polterdog!

Bring in the exorcist!

[zyrya]

A polterdog omg that's too adorable to exorcise.

*makes sure your cabana boy is being sufficiently attentive*