FRIDAY! WE ALL MADE IT!
Feb. 3rd, 2006 08:50 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
stoney321*drags everyone over the finish line*
*except YOU. And you know why*
HA! I love finding things that support my position. Like the Chinese Love Basket. NO! Like Great Literary Taunts!
"I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial." Irvin S. Cobb
"I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure." Clarence Darrow
"He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary." William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway)
"He is not only dull himself, he is the cause of dullness in others." Samuel Johnson
"He had delusions of adequacy." Walter Kerr
"I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it." Groucho Marx
"They never open their mouths without subtracting from the sum of human knowledge." Thomas Brackett Reed
"He loves nature in spite of what it did to him." Forrest Tucker
"I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it. " Mark Twain
"His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork." Mae West
"Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go." Oscar Wilde
"He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends." Oscar Wilde
"He has Van Gogh's ear for music." Billy Wilder
I love Mark Twain. LOVE him. And Oscar Wilde is so wonderfully catty.... (Damn you Stephen Fry for being uncomfortable as him!! That movie should have WORKED!) As I told![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
germaine_pet last night, EVEN JESUS MOCKS GALLAGHER.
And as I am impatient, and I'll be opening up comments for concrit, etc., I'll go ahead and post my second request from yesterday's call to write.
Ficlet, Prompt: Xander, Connor, milkshake, french fries, King Ralph, hand jobs
For:entrenous88, who took the prompt and went another way, H E R E.
Rating: Cert. 15 for adultish language, but no nekkidness. Mostly innuendo.
Feeling: Funny, yet wistful. (Warning: Takes place post-NFA/S5)
Weather: Raining, with skies clearing in the late afternoon
~*~*~
Angel was on the phone, arguing with Buffy.
"No, she does NOT have a hairy back the other days of the month, and you dated The Immortal! Leave Nina out of this and tell me what Giles and the others..."
Xander raised his eyebrows slightly, re-adjusted his eye patch - gotta remember to just cock the one. Heh. Cock. - and turned back to Connor who had steadily made his way through half of Xander's lunch while his back was turned.
"Hey! Quit Bogarting my food! Especially if you're going to dip them in your milkshake. Grease and milk are the very definition of wrongness."
Connor, eyes steady on Xander, took another fry, swiped it across the thick shake and popped it in his mouth. He spoke around the food, "fried ice cream."
"What?"
"Fried ice cream. My parents - uh, the other ones - they took me to a place that served fried ice cream. It's good. You should try it."
Xander blinked. Or was it winked because of the one eye? He always meant to ask Giles, but any time he reminded Giles that a psychotic, possessed preacher with a chili-bowl haircut had popped his eye out, Giles would cough and clean his glasses and really, someone should get the man some therapy putty because eventually those glasses were gonna break.
Xander blinked/winked and looked down at his plate, then up at Connor who was slowly sliding the penultimate fry into his mouth and grinning.
"Hey!!"
"Grasshopper: when you can snatch this french fry from my hand..." Connor held it in his palm, well within reach.
"Okay, Wolfram and Hart put KUNG FU in your new memories, but not King Ralph? And they call themselves evil lawyers."
"Hmm, they did put Engelbert Humperdink's entire catalog in my head, so... Pretty evil."
"I bet it's weird having two different sets of memories floating around in the ol' noggin. Then again, you date someone like Cordy long enough and there's 'what you know' versus 'what she tells you really happened.'"
"Uh-"
"Like when we were in Science lab and she had us take the table in the back corner and unzipped my pants during the lecture-"
"Uh-"
"-and used the Over-Helmet Hand Hold I was trying to patent and-"
"XANDER."
"Oh, it's-"
Xander made a fist with his right hand, thumb side down, stroked down once, came up, loosened his grip, a twist, tightened back to a fist, stroked again, pinky finger down this time. He opened his eyes wide, showed his palms and nodded.
"Over Helmet Hand Hold. Anyway, she forgot to turn her class ring around and I couldn't help that I convulsed a bit and turned the Bunsen burner up high and singed her hair, I mean, you have to-"
"XANDER!"
"What?"
Connor pushed back from the table a bit, trying to keep his face neutral. He had just met this guy and didn't think it would be nice to make an "eww" face. "It's not like that. The extra memories. Maybe you should take a nap or something? Loosen up? I'm sorry I ate all of your fries."
Angel slammed the phone down and stomped over to the two of them, hands on hips and nostrils flaring unnecessarily.
"I can't believe she did that to him. I showed her that grip."
Xander pinked.
Angel realized he said that out loud.
Connor looked between the two of them. "Gross. I'm out of here."
"Ten bucks says he tries my Over-Helmet-"
"XANDER! That's my son. For the love of-. And it's the Loose Grip Slide."
"Hey, buddy, you never GAVE it a name until I tried it on you that one night on patrol. I spent years perfecting that in my basement."
Angel rolled his eyes. "Tell me when you've hit the century mark. And you can't patent hand jobs. Spike already tried."
Xander coughed and cleared his throat. "So! Other than Buffy taking matters into her own hands," he snickered a bit, "what's the plan?"
Angel began outlining the latest problem as Xander muttered under his breath, "I knew he'd try and steal that from me. I should never have told him about getting it patented."
~*~*~
If you are uncomfortable with dissecting problems in LJ comments, you can certainly email me at stoney321 @ livejournal . com, no spaces.
*except YOU. And you know why*
HA! I love finding things that support my position. Like the Chinese Love Basket. NO! Like Great Literary Taunts!
"I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial." Irvin S. Cobb
"I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure." Clarence Darrow
"He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary." William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway)
"He is not only dull himself, he is the cause of dullness in others." Samuel Johnson
"He had delusions of adequacy." Walter Kerr
"I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it." Groucho Marx
"They never open their mouths without subtracting from the sum of human knowledge." Thomas Brackett Reed
"He loves nature in spite of what it did to him." Forrest Tucker
"I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it. " Mark Twain
"His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork." Mae West
"Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go." Oscar Wilde
"He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends." Oscar Wilde
"He has Van Gogh's ear for music." Billy Wilder
I love Mark Twain. LOVE him. And Oscar Wilde is so wonderfully catty.... (Damn you Stephen Fry for being uncomfortable as him!! That movie should have WORKED!) As I told
germaine_pet last night, EVEN JESUS MOCKS GALLAGHER. And as I am impatient, and I'll be opening up comments for concrit, etc., I'll go ahead and post my second request from yesterday's call to write.
Ficlet, Prompt: Xander, Connor, milkshake, french fries, King Ralph, hand jobs
For:
entrenous88, who took the prompt and went another way, H E R E.Rating: Cert. 15 for adultish language, but no nekkidness. Mostly innuendo.
Feeling: Funny, yet wistful. (Warning: Takes place post-NFA/S5)
Weather: Raining, with skies clearing in the late afternoon
Angel was on the phone, arguing with Buffy.
"No, she does NOT have a hairy back the other days of the month, and you dated The Immortal! Leave Nina out of this and tell me what Giles and the others..."
Xander raised his eyebrows slightly, re-adjusted his eye patch - gotta remember to just cock the one. Heh. Cock. - and turned back to Connor who had steadily made his way through half of Xander's lunch while his back was turned.
"Hey! Quit Bogarting my food! Especially if you're going to dip them in your milkshake. Grease and milk are the very definition of wrongness."
Connor, eyes steady on Xander, took another fry, swiped it across the thick shake and popped it in his mouth. He spoke around the food, "fried ice cream."
"What?"
"Fried ice cream. My parents - uh, the other ones - they took me to a place that served fried ice cream. It's good. You should try it."
Xander blinked. Or was it winked because of the one eye? He always meant to ask Giles, but any time he reminded Giles that a psychotic, possessed preacher with a chili-bowl haircut had popped his eye out, Giles would cough and clean his glasses and really, someone should get the man some therapy putty because eventually those glasses were gonna break.
Xander blinked/winked and looked down at his plate, then up at Connor who was slowly sliding the penultimate fry into his mouth and grinning.
"Hey!!"
"Grasshopper: when you can snatch this french fry from my hand..." Connor held it in his palm, well within reach.
"Okay, Wolfram and Hart put KUNG FU in your new memories, but not King Ralph? And they call themselves evil lawyers."
"Hmm, they did put Engelbert Humperdink's entire catalog in my head, so... Pretty evil."
"I bet it's weird having two different sets of memories floating around in the ol' noggin. Then again, you date someone like Cordy long enough and there's 'what you know' versus 'what she tells you really happened.'"
"Uh-"
"Like when we were in Science lab and she had us take the table in the back corner and unzipped my pants during the lecture-"
"Uh-"
"-and used the Over-Helmet Hand Hold I was trying to patent and-"
"XANDER."
"Oh, it's-"
Xander made a fist with his right hand, thumb side down, stroked down once, came up, loosened his grip, a twist, tightened back to a fist, stroked again, pinky finger down this time. He opened his eyes wide, showed his palms and nodded.
"Over Helmet Hand Hold. Anyway, she forgot to turn her class ring around and I couldn't help that I convulsed a bit and turned the Bunsen burner up high and singed her hair, I mean, you have to-"
"XANDER!"
"What?"
Connor pushed back from the table a bit, trying to keep his face neutral. He had just met this guy and didn't think it would be nice to make an "eww" face. "It's not like that. The extra memories. Maybe you should take a nap or something? Loosen up? I'm sorry I ate all of your fries."
Angel slammed the phone down and stomped over to the two of them, hands on hips and nostrils flaring unnecessarily.
"I can't believe she did that to him. I showed her that grip."
Xander pinked.
Angel realized he said that out loud.
Connor looked between the two of them. "Gross. I'm out of here."
"Ten bucks says he tries my Over-Helmet-"
"XANDER! That's my son. For the love of-. And it's the Loose Grip Slide."
"Hey, buddy, you never GAVE it a name until I tried it on you that one night on patrol. I spent years perfecting that in my basement."
Angel rolled his eyes. "Tell me when you've hit the century mark. And you can't patent hand jobs. Spike already tried."
Xander coughed and cleared his throat. "So! Other than Buffy taking matters into her own hands," he snickered a bit, "what's the plan?"
Angel began outlining the latest problem as Xander muttered under his breath, "I knew he'd try and steal that from me. I should never have told him about getting it patented."
If you are uncomfortable with dissecting problems in LJ comments, you can certainly email me at stoney321 @ livejournal . com, no spaces.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2006-02-03 07:00 am (UTC)And sorry! I looked for this last night when I was online and it didn't pop up, so I went to bed early. *blushes*
Great voices and that was fun Connor & Xander interaction. Made me all happy and stuff.
no subject
Date: 2006-02-03 07:23 am (UTC)Also: it is cold and rainy and I'm still in my robe and jammies, mmmm.
no subject
Date: 2006-02-03 07:15 am (UTC)Weak. From. Laughter.
You make me so damned happy.
no subject
Date: 2006-02-03 07:23 am (UTC)Haha!! Now, the REAL question: what name did Spike submit to the patent office?
(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:no subject
Date: 2006-02-03 07:15 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-02-03 07:26 am (UTC)*pounds your back to keep you from choking*
no subject
Date: 2006-02-03 07:43 am (UTC)I love this Friday morning. I *needed* this Friday all damn week, and I love that you made me laugh so early in the day. *g*
no subject
Date: 2006-02-03 07:52 am (UTC)Laughing is IMPORTANT for your MENTAL HEALTH.
no subject
Date: 2006-02-03 08:04 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-02-03 08:34 am (UTC)(no subject)
From:no subject
Date: 2006-02-03 08:09 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-02-03 08:34 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-02-03 08:20 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-02-03 08:35 am (UTC)Glad you laughed! yay!
no subject
Date: 2006-02-03 08:34 am (UTC)This is excellent! I love the first three sentences to death, as well as:
Anyway, she forgot to turn her class ring around and I couldn't help that I convulsed a bit and turned the Bunsen burner up high and singed her hair
nostrils flaring unnecessarily
Spike already tried.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
You're awesome.
no subject
Date: 2006-02-03 08:36 am (UTC)Thanks, Mar!! I am seriously abusing exclamation points today.
(no subject)
From:no subject
Date: 2006-02-03 08:37 am (UTC)"I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial." Irvin S. Cobb
Whoop!! Hometown boy! Go Irvin! Well, not go, because...um...corpse, but still...yee haw!
no subject
Date: 2006-02-03 10:10 am (UTC)Oh, I love the snark. LOVE IT.
no subject
Date: 2006-02-03 08:38 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-02-03 10:11 am (UTC)(See what I meant about us going in COMPLETELY different directions with this?) Yay! That was fun.
(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:no subject
Date: 2006-02-03 10:11 am (UTC)Loved all the pointy quotes, too.
no subject
Date: 2006-02-03 10:12 am (UTC)(no subject)
From:no subject
Date: 2006-02-03 11:28 am (UTC)You need to put a "Do not eat lunch while reading" warning.
*giggles*
no subject
Date: 2006-02-03 12:47 pm (UTC)IF NOT: Do not eat or drink while reading this LJ. Proceed with caution.
*performs heimlich*
no subject
Date: 2006-02-03 11:34 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-02-03 12:49 pm (UTC)Loose grip slide. Learn it. Love it. :D
no subject
Date: 2006-02-03 12:40 pm (UTC)Damn, no nekkidness. Did you come up with these names (you know what I mean) all on your own? Very ingenious. Never thought about Xander and Connor comparing notes. Add Angel in there, and who knows where it will take you.
Very funny.
no subject
Date: 2006-02-03 12:51 pm (UTC)I did come up with the names! You hang around boys long enough, you hear things... :D
(no subject)
From:no subject
Date: 2006-02-03 02:07 pm (UTC)you are a crazy genius.
I'm thinking of that scene with the dogwalking girl in S7 "Has anybody here NOT given each other a hand job?"
no subject
Date: 2006-02-04 06:21 am (UTC)I'm thinking Ron Popeil has the answers and HE'S NOT TALKING.
:D
once a year or so, I talk like a lawyer
From:(no subject)
From:no subject
Date: 2006-02-03 04:04 pm (UTC)I started giggling here and continued through the whole thing.
My vote for the name Spike used is "The Big Bad Love Grip"
no subject
Date: 2006-02-04 06:22 am (UTC)My vote is "The Slickened Sorehead."
Or "The Johnny Rotten."
no subject
Date: 2006-02-03 07:05 pm (UTC)I've actually never had fried ice cream, but I dip fries in milkshakes a lot. McDonald's fries and Wendy's Frosties are best for that though, and Sue and I thought we had a patent? I did love this line the best: Spike already tried.
no subject
Date: 2006-02-04 06:23 am (UTC)And ONLY Wendy's fries in a Wendy's Frosty, because to do otherwise is madness.
Heh. I can hear Angel tossing that line off. Ba dum bumpching!
(no subject)
From:no subject
Date: 2006-02-04 02:44 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-02-04 06:25 am (UTC)And I'm going to speak up for Giles and say while TECHNICALLY it's a blink, calling it a wink is acceptible verbage.
no subject
Date: 2006-02-04 10:45 am (UTC):::searches madly through junk drawer for rabbit pearl::::
no subject
Date: 2006-02-04 01:02 pm (UTC)(thanks)
no subject
Date: 2007-02-03 03:45 am (UTC)Angel slammed the phone down and stomped over to the two of them, hands on hips and nostrils flaring unnecessarily.
Hahahahahaha! Oh, Angel. You stomp more hilariously than anyone. *loves this*
*and you*
HUGHUGHUGHUG!!
no subject
Date: 2007-02-03 03:53 am (UTC)HI LYNNE!! hug hug hug hug. SMOOCH.