Karma Laundrette

Title: Hell Is Where You Meet The Person You Could Have Been
Author: Stoney
Fandom: Angel: The Series
Rating: PG-13 for violent imagery
Summary: 4 Bible Stories with a Jossian Twist - Angel, Wesley, Gunn, Connor. GENERAL SPOILERS FOR THE SERIES
Disclaimer: No money made, nor am I looking for any. Unless you count that twenty I lost in the washer.
A/N: I've put links to imagery that brought this whole thing on. Uh, dark. Trying to get back into this "writing non-crack" thing.

( Hell Is Where You Meet The Person You Could Have Been )

So, tkp and I have been cackling with crack-filled glee all day long, and this is the result of her prompt in entrenous88's journal (who gave me permission to run like the wind with this. Because she's SMART. I am so broken inside.)

"Spike the Pirate who captures the ship with Connor in it, Connor is being shipped off because his father is forcing him to get married, and Connor's dowry went to the highest bidder, and now Spike the Pirate's waylaid it, but found that the greatest treasure of all is Connor himself."

So, um... this is what she gets. With apologies to The Princess Bride, Barry White, Joss Whedon, and your brains. Also, blatant abuse of "Winken Blinken and Nod" ahead. Your childhood memories are at stake.

Author: *sigh* Stoney
Title: Connor and The Pyrate Spoike
Rated: Arrrrr. (No, really. R.)
Pairings: Connor/Spike (with Liam overtones. THIS IS CRACK, people!)
Summary: Pirates. Dowries. (Dowrys?) Pirate cabin smex. Connor OOC. Spike OOC. Shit, they're ALL OOC. Yarrrr!

( Here There Be Pyrates and Crack Fic )

ABANDON ALL HOPE, YE WHO ENTER HERE. (Lasciate ogne speranza, voi ch'intrate)

It should be no surprise to those who have been on my flist for a while that I love talking religion. For the record, I am not a believer in a higher power. At all. I also do not denigrate those that find comfort and peace in their belief of a higher power, so please know that you can be candid with your thoughts on religion with no fear of retaliation, snickering, or attempts to convert from my end. And I'll hope for the same. (OMG, no Watchtowers of BoMs, please!)

I'll state first what (imo) are Joss' thoughts on religion, and try and support that with moments/themes from the show. It's my opinion (and was glad to hear someone else say this at WC) that God and religion failed Joss Whedon in his life, and he has a rather sour outlook on them both, but maybe a part of him wants to believe. I also think that he's sensitive enough (and intelligent enough) to see the value in not preaching atheism (i think he approaches from an agnostic viewpoint) to the viewer, and while he tends to revere the dark more than the light, he still lets the viewer make the final decision as to how they see the god of their choice, or the lack thereof.

( Gosh, I love a story with scope. ) cross linked to churchofjoss

Whew. Here it is: Connor. (All of you Connor haters are missing out on a) some of the best writers in fandom, b) one of the most interesting characters in canon, c) the girly-prettiness that is VK, because YUM.)

( Connor Playlist )
And folks: we all have access to iTunes or shareware. Or you know: support the musicians and buy the CDs. They're all great. (All other character CDs are linked now in tags)

*sorry for the spam today!*

Raise your hand if you didn't know I was broken? *crickets* Right. So if you haven't read annakovsky's Five Families Connor Was Not Magically Squeezed Into After His Real Vampire Dad Slit His Throat, you are missing out. Fantastic. The Arrested Development ficlet is my favorite. That being said, apparently there's a show called "Supernatural" and it has a family called the Winchesters. I did not know this. I saw "Winchesters" and immediately thought of Charles Emerson Winchester III from M*A*S*H. And assumed Connor had been sent to Boston to grow up in the lap of luxury with a pompous git of an older brother, currently serving in the Korean War as a surgeon.

And couldn't get that out of my head. So. I give you the following, a sharp left-turn, and containing some "Screwtape Letters" influences. Rated W for WTF?

( Suicide is Painless )

The lines: "I'd sooner share my toothbrush with a Democrat" and "They may have cut me off from ... this fetid and festering sewer" were lifted from the TV program and slightly modified to fit in, all apologies to the writers of M*A*S*H.

First off, y'all guessed all the movie quotes except #8: Ha HO, don't hit anybody! That would be Farmer Ted to Jake in Sixteen Candles, right before he drove the Prom Queen home. (I heard the grill alone cost 5 Grand! Do you have 5 grand? I don't have 5 grand! - So don't hit anybody.) My love for Farmer Ted knows no bounds...

crazydiamondsue poked me because I'm not doing anything in the fandom. Well, this is kinda sorta fandom related. Well, most of it.
( You cannot resist the cut-tag! Except for those of you who don't give a shit. Hee! )

In honor of National Fuck It Day I've decided to quit stressing out over this fic and post it. This is the first part, but at this rate, it'll take me forever to finish. I just want it to be purrrrfect. Inspired by 1) a dream where Spike and Dru wanted to turn Sylvia Plath (Dru liked her baby problems, Spike liked her talent) and instead of convincing her, she successfully killed herself. Which pissed off Spike because Ted Hughes put a whammy on his house barring them, and Spike REALLY wanted a taste of the Poet Laureate, and 2) the idea that "Daddy" was inspired from Dru playing with Sylvia's hair and crooning into her ear about Angelus.

I want it to feel like a creepy, Victorian bed-time story that Dru thinks would be comforting. Hmmm. Here goes... Fuck it.

Title: Family - The Ties That Bind
Rating: 'Tis work safe. But keep young children away from Dru. Probably Feral!Connor, too.
Spoilers: Up to the opening ep in Angel, Season 4 - takes place during the summer of Angel's Underwater Sea Adventure.
Thanks to adis723 and crazydiamondsue for the beta and ecouragement with this. No one knows Dru like Vinnie, and no one knows me like Sue.


( Family - The Ties That Bind )

I remembered that I used to try to write stuff.  Stuff that didn't involve making fun of other things.  So I'm a bit rusty, but I watched "Apocolypse, Nowish" last night and finally got it.  I finally got Connor, and he broke my heart a little.  I don't feel that irritation (get out, get out GET OUT!) like I did before.

Many thanks to crazydiamondsue for looking over this and reminding me that while she doesn't like Connor, she loves me.

Untouched

Subject: Connor's background in Quor-toth as Steven

Rating: PG-13 for violence to children, I guess and boobage.

Disclaimer: Duh.  Name wasn't Joss Whedon up there, right?  So I got nothing.

Spoilers: up to mid Season 4, AtS

( Untouched )