Jersey Shore recap, Ersatz Ronnie and Free Snooki!

What others are saying about my recaps:

handsomespeck: I almost straight up murdered fifty-nine people in a Wal-Mart last night before I read your recaps. You've given me the strength to carry on for another day! I might even get a puppy.

ethrosdemon: Are these people real? *falls down* Is Tom Hardy on the show? I have goats.

dovil: I don't watch this show, and now I don't have to! Reading your words is like kittens gamboling with machine guns that shoot out cupcakes of delight. Also, I'm drunk.

oatmellow: I may be a published author, but even I know that nothing compares to this retelling of the Jersey Shore. Stoney is a modern-day Shakespeare, if Shakespeare cussed more and had sweet cans.

elizardbits: RAWR SHOUTY EMOTION WORDS PEOPLE SUCK SLIP ON ICE I LIVE IN NYC AND HATE THOSE PEOPLE YOU ARE ACCURATE WITH THESE RECAPS I GUESS. Also, red velvet cake + TOM HARDY PEEN = \o/ (Happy now, Liz?)

WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR, GET TO CLICKING, I MEAN WHAT MORE EVIDENCE DO YOU NEED. (Start at the beginning, here, all are linked chronologically at the end.)

Pfft, you're snowed in, it's not like you have anything else to do. ;)

( Pruno, Sandy Boobs, and Faux Ronnie - just another night at the Shore )

Next ep is tonight!