I miss having a fandom. :(

[stoney321]

Which might sound strange, because I am still fannish about some shows. This post pretty much sums up how I feel about current fannish trends, aka - rolling around in spoilers and speculations and red herrings and becoming UNBELIEVABLY ANGRY about things and then spending the season bitching about how those spoilers and speculations and red herrings weren't accurate. (Oh, you don't say?)

I have not one single fannish Tumblr on my feed now. No one can be trusted (aside from my Miss Muse), I have painfully found out. I took K_B off my feed last night because someone put in their g.d. author's notes to a fic post "now that we all need a little..." blah blah - which means that they are hinting about a spoiler/speculation/red herring and now I AM INFECTED WITH IT. :(

Everyone can have the fannish experience they want. Which seems to be that they want to be angry and hate a show they continue to watch (oh my god, don't even get me started on the BZUH?-ness of that). So why can't I have the fannish experience I want? Which is to watch the show when it airs, and then talk - BEHIND A CUT - about what I liked, etc? Because people are selfish, that's why. I'm sorry if that makes you angry with me. (People who don't care about my wishes and wants make ME angry.) As flaming_muse said: spoilers should be OPT IN, not OPT OUT.

I've had four different fics on my hard drive that I've essentially deleted. I can't even consider moving forward with any of them, because my joy in the show and sharing it are pretty much gone - not to mention the whole "feeling paralyzed about writing the future with hints of what's to come having been carelessly posted."

I'm just tired of selfish behavior. It's like the majority of the people on the internet exhibit ADD behavior: complete lack of impulse control and thinking things through, or having empathy for others. /killjoy.

There are a handful of people that I enjoy in this fandom, and I'll continue to read them (and I'm talking, like six people), but man - the rest of the fandom has pretty much killed it for me. I've been in one fandom or another since I was, hmm. 11? I'm 40. I've never had such a negative experience. I say this not to be a whiner, but to stress how UNUSUAL this behavior is. This is not how fandoms typically behave, n00bs. As I tell my kids and their friends: Manners are free, so there's no excuse for you to not have any.

Not that it's a hardship to other fan-types in Glee that I'm not really wanting to play ball anymore, I'm not trying to prop myself up in importance (because let's face it - I'm not.) I'm just expressing myself in my personal fannish space.

ION, I bought my son skinny jeans and they bag on him. O_O The child eats almost $200 in groceries A WEEK. If I could bottle his metabolism...

[ETA]: Just to clear the record: I'm not trying to be all sniffy/flouncing. I'm expressing my frustration, is all. (And it should go without saying that there should be NO MENTIONS OF SPOILERS OF ANY KIND in comments here. Or speculation. Or red herrings. Or mention of Brussels sprouts. Because those are gross and make you fart.)

Comments

[hazyjayne.livejournal.com]

All of what you both say; to be honest I am using this (avoiding fandom which means I am so far behind on Near Misses :() as a good reason to work on other things (work, college). I'm hoping the situation will improve when the season starts again.

[mystmoon1.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry to hear that you're so disillusioned by the fandom. I love your work and would be sad to see you go. I am very sad that you deleated your work. I do tend to agree with you. (not exactly, but that's ok).

I hope that when the season starts, you can enjoy it again.
*hugs*

[brunettepet.livejournal.com]

I have never understood the pleasure of being spoiled for a show or hating on a show and still watching it just so you can hate on it some more. You're no longer a fan if all you can do is tear a show or a character or an actor down. Turn the television off and walk away.

Put on your mad scientist pants and get to work on that metabolism juice! I am in dire need of a boost.

[http://users.livejournal.com/shing_/]

I feel your pain. I stopped reading forums because of the negativity. So much hate! And yet, the people who hate it the most are the first ones posting on the episode threads and/or the most active. I live in a very small corner of the fandom where I only see whispers of the wank/crazy. I'm not much of a spoiler-phobe though I do try to avoid it as much as possible so I understand the frustration there too.

[thegourmez.livejournal.com]

Totally concur with your description of how Glee fandom operates--whine and moan about spoilers only to see that things play out a bit differently in the actual episode and then whine and moan about the difference between the speculated expectation and the actual event. It's beyond silly, but I still admit to engaging in it to a point. Personally, I just don't let any spoiler rile me up because how on Earth do we know how it'll really play out? We don't. I'd suggest you think of that in reference to the Author's Note that spoiled you too--we really DON'T know how things will play out. You shouldn't let probably misunderstood future events interfere with your writing, because that writing is beautiful and deserves to be seen!

In other words, if you love writing it, please continue because plenty of us love reading it!

[darkhawkhealer.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry you're having difficulties with fandom.

Can I ask if this is a pairing-specific problem? I've never noticed a problem with my preferred pairing's comm -- but then I'll freely admit I'm only here for the fic, and that the way I enjoy my fandom pretty much only by reading story communities and by talking to my little circle of friends through chat/chain mails/text messages. I'm a very introverted fangirl and I'm happy with that. :D

Is it possible for you to move more towards something like that -- just hanging out with other fans that have the same views/ideals?

Barring that, I know it sounds bad, but you could look for other shows to get into? Anything whose median age isn't 12? :(

[dareu2beme.livejournal.com]

I'm finding myself wanting to quit this fandom. I am just so upset about things... and even if they don't come to pass, I'm tired of getting upset over them. I'm just not sure what fandom to move on to.. and I'm only now just starting to get a group of friends and followers in this fandom. Sigh. I dunno.

[flaming-muse.livejournal.com]

I love you, I love your writing, and I hate that your squee is being dampened. Just play with me. That's all that matters.

And I can't read the comments in this entry because god knows what people might hint about spoilers IT'S THAT BAD AROUND THE INTERNET.

get offa my fucking lawn you younguns with your hula hoops and spoilers

[kita0610.livejournal.com]

I heary you. Tumblr is not for us. Really truly. We grew up all different.

[bethynyc.livejournal.com]

::hugs you:: I agree completely and wish I had something thoughtful to add. Avoiding all spoilers, not clicking ANYTHING and just reading the beautiful Near Misses!

[glitzy09.livejournal.com]

Let me internet hug you. I've been feeling exactly the same lately and it makes me sad. I've never used Tumblr because it was so rife with spoilers (and because I'm old lol) but now I've given up on the comm here too. I went into a post that had absolutely nothing to do with season 4 (it was discussing a missing scene from season 3) and there in the comments were people discussing spoilers like they were common knowledge. I got out of there as fast as I could but I was so gutted to be spoiled. The only fic I feel safe reading now is Near Misses because I know flaming_muse is as spoiler-phobic as me.

[zyrya]

Is the Glee fandom different demographically? I don't mean to hVIII on the young'uns. But are they younger? Is it their first fandom? Is it too shipcentric?

I worry that social media is changing tv so that spoilers, rumours, alternate plot lines are almost a shadow version of shows. TV insiders seem to fuel it as advertising and marketing. Maybe we're heading down a Choose Your Own Adventure style of tv production?

*shudder*

[dovil.livejournal.com]

I saw your comment about True Blood above - didn't that get good again! Loving it! Which since I spent a couple of seasons with my D: face on (but still liked the characters enough not to quit), I'm really glad I stuck around. It's now back on the Must Watch TV list.

Spoilers suck. I was following a show for ages and a workmate, who knew I was a spoilerphobe, casually suddently mentioned that I'd enjoy the last episode because it had a twist that you could never see coming. Which meant I now knew that all the threads that were pointing certain ways were red herrings and meant that it would be the most unlikely person - and it was. I'm unleashing my pain on to you so that I might one day walk into the sun and smile again. Lovely person, but what a fuckwit.

My last fandom - had nothing to do with any communities whatsoever (aside from the occassional link to a story on the newsletter space, with plenty of warnings beforehand what the subject matter was about) and ruthlessly cut people out left, right and centre until I got the fannish experience that I wanted. I even told a couple of people to unfriend me because they were apparently very upset with what I was writing but weren't prepared not to read it (not that you can avoid that when it's in a shared community space, but that was the point, it was my own personal journal).

People want their own individual expectations to be satisfied by the fanish hivemind, but unfortunately that's never going to happen because people's individual expectations of what life should be like isn't satisfied by the behaviour of others, so why should online be any different. What I'm saying is that people are jerks and we should hate everyone and twitch our front window curtains aside and scowl at the neighbours kids and write angry letters to the council.

I'm going to live in a cave. Rocks will be my friends.

I am sorry that fandom is being a dick. Have you thought about drinking heavily? I find that helps most things. Except my chronic alcoholism, but I have meth for that.

[kuzu-no-ha.livejournal.com]

I was scrolling through tumblr and a friend started talking about Game of Thrones and I JUST started watching it. Like I'm on disc 2. YOU know I don't have cable and we've never met! I think he should know better. gah

And I went like this "AHHH AVERT THE EYES SCROLL SCROLL SCROLLLLLL!!!"

oh and edited to add I don't care HOW old the thing is, try to be thoughtful. I don't even spoil opera plots. Even the 400 year old ones.

Fanfic vs. fandom

[(Anonymous)]

I'm sorry you found out more than you wanted to.

I hope the abandonment of fic isn't a permanent thing - for me, personally, writing fic tends to be utterly separate from fandom, more of an escape than anything else. So when I'm most emotionally distrustful/detached from the show is usually my most productive time. :)

spoilers suck

[tchrgleek.livejournal.com]

I'm so sorry you have been spoiled unnecessarily. Please don't let it stop you from writing your amazing fic. You and Miss Muse are AWESOME. I have considered getting off tumblr to avoid the spoilers, but have decided that the interactions and friends I have made there are worth it. I unfollowed the "wanksters" to avoid THAT part of fandom, but wank exists everywhere. Facebook is a political mess, google+ is a technological mess, twitter and tumblr and fandom messes. I take the good with the bad because the benefits outweigh the problems.

I choose not to engage in the bitching and wank, and enjoy the beautiful fic that comes through my dash, fic like yours and Miss Muse's beautiful stories. The Bones of You continues to be at the top of my list, but Near Misses is a close second!

[secondalto.livejournal.com]

You bottle your boy's metabolism, I'll bottle my 3yo girl's energy. We'll become gazillionaires and be able to smite anyone who spoils us!

[cmf.livejournal.com]

Just another old-ish person chiming in to say, yeah spoilers suck. I got spoiled for the Glee Project, which in the grand scheme of things REALLY DOESN'T MATTER, except ya know, i wanted to find out on my own time who won. I had to stay off tumblr and facebook for most of the Olympics because I was watching via DVR and got SO MAD when some stupid ad on FB was congratulating a silver medal winner before I had seen the race. (am canadian - we didn't win too many medals)

What I don't understand about 'kids these days' is the HATE. Don't like it? Don't watch it. You don't have to rant about it and ruin it for the rest of us. Even the couple of people on my FB who watch Glee would comment "I am so done with this show - it gets worse and worse all the time". So then what? Those of us who still like it are stupid? I don't know.

I do know that I work full time and have 2 kids and a husband. I like the songs of Glee. I think Darren is about the most beautiful man I've seen for a long time and I love what he's done to make Blaine such an endearing character. I started reading tumblr about a year ago, kinda hoping to find people who felt the same way. Don't have my own tumblr - just read them through Google reader. Found lots of interesting people but lots of bullshit too.

I'm not really sure what my point is here other than to say I've always loved the things you've written. I'm reading Near Misses and just loving what flaming_muse is doing. It is fantastic. I'd hate to see anyone drive the two of you out of Fandom. Maybe we need a If You Weren't Born in the 70s, Get Off My Lawn tumblr where those of us who can play nice with others can go :)

[pushplaytobegin.livejournal.com]

This post makes me sad. I wish I could share my spoiler-free bubble with you and f_m, because I so rarely get spoiled. It must be my superpower. :-(

It breaks my heart that you've abandoned (I cannot bear to type "deleted") any story you were previously excited about, or that anyone would dampen your joy in any way.

((((hugs you))))

[wowbright.livejournal.com]

I was really afraid of getting on Tumblr for the reasons you cite, but after some early bad experiences, I've made it a safer place for myself by only following people who don't post spoilers OR who religiously tag all spoilers and speculation. Same for wank (okay, no one tags wank, so I just unfollow). I've gotten so zealous about it that if I reblog a pretty picture of Chris Colfer and I think it might possibly be an out of context shot from a future Glee episode or shoot, I tag it with spoiler. I mean, I don't even watch the previews for the most part, so I can understand someone not wanting to be spoiler on possible outfits, either.

Sorry, I just turned that into a bit of a rant, but I just meant to say that I TOTALLY get where you're coming from and think you're right to take the steps you need to keep the show fun for you. I wish random could be as good to you as the show is!

(And I'm a little sad to hear that you're tossing your fics; I love your vision of the Glee characters.)

[kayoko.livejournal.com]

The Glee fandom is a very unique environment. The majority of the fans are young, they have this strange sense of entitlement and it's all about instant satisfaction. Just think about the type of fanfiction that is produced, reaction fics and short random fics are produced in mass quantities. There aren't that many long plot/character driven fics out there that push the boundaries of what we know (I swear that 'Near Misses' is the only WIP fic worth my time nowadays).

Also, if you're looking for a new, possibly better fandom, I highly recommend Teen Wolf. A lot of people on my f-list have recently gotten into it. =)

[justa-reader.livejournal.com]

I'll admit that I've been a big ole bag of emotions for the past three days, but this...this just makes me weep. As a fan of fanfic authors (you!), the most upsetting thing is watching something that is supposed to be FUN, something that is supposed to be an ESCAPE become laced with anything stressful AT ALL (beyond the normal creative process). It is distressing to watch people whose writing I've grown to adore be driven away by wank or rudeness. And only partly for my selfish (reading) reasons, but mostly for the way it brings something negative into what should be such a positive space, to the place that is MY escape, too.

I'm not as dedicated to avoiding spoilers as you are, but I do not like them, and I've found myself having to pull away from one corner after another of this fandom as they've spread. It just makes me sad, because I kinda need this happy little place in my world right now.

*Hugs you*

(And I'm all for bottling my son's metabolism, as long as it doesn't barrage my brain with nothing but video games and SpongeBob.)

[heresluck]

Just -- seriously, co-fucking-signed. Disrespecting spoiler avoidance, generating spoiler-related hysteria, continuing to watch a show despite hating it -- WTF is this. I've been reluctant to assume that it was a new development or specific to Glee, because my involvement in my fandoms since Buffy has been decidedly tangential to the mainstream of fannish activity, but you and flaming_muse convince me that it's not just me being a grumpy cane-shaking oldster remembering Ye Good Olde Days with inappropriate nostalgia. So, uh, thanks for that, even though I'm sorry we have to commiserate about it at all. Alas.

[kouredios.livejournal.com]

I'm sad for the deletion of those unfinished projects, but I totally understand not wanting to look at them after the joy's been sucked out. I'm so sorry. I'm not active enough to have to worry about spoilers--I just read you and F_M and chatter with my friends, and that's about it. I can't imagine having bunches of strangers accost me with spoilers. :(

[whisperyvoices.livejournal.com]

:'( Sigh. I'm so sorry. Every time someone in fandom does something stupid, I feel the need to take some responsibility - because we're in a community together, and that sorta feels like we should be responsible for each other? The flip side of feeling so Proud and Happy when a fellow fan does something good and kind...? Anyway, I'm terribly sorry. I've given up [for now] going on Tumblr - it was short lived and lovely while it lasted [and I may venture back on if feeling brave and able to unfollow all these folks], but for now, I'm staying away because too many people are posting spoilers w/o tagging them.

I just don't get it ...they are called "spoilers" - that has to be the most obvious, self-explanatory name ever. What about that says "this is good, let's share this with the world"? NOTHING!

I'm just going to offer you a hug now - and a wish that maybe you'll find a part of this community to come back to, that is respectful and manners-filled, so that you'll have a fandom to roll around in again. (((big.hug)))

p.s: When you figure out how to bottle your son's metabolism, I demand [with painful, but polite, urgency] that you share it with me! PLEASE!

p.p.s: ....these people made Stoney delete fics? FOUR FICS THAT SHOULD HAVE BEEN OUT HERE IN THE WORLD, making us smile and cry and think and feel? *I'm gritting my teeth so hard now in anger* *^#(*^#(*!(&#)