I miss having a fandom. :(
Aug. 17th, 2012 09:49 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
Which might sound strange, because I am still fannish about some shows. This post pretty much sums up how I feel about current fannish trends, aka - rolling around in spoilers and speculations and red herrings and becoming UNBELIEVABLY ANGRY about things and then spending the season bitching about how those spoilers and speculations and red herrings weren't accurate. (Oh, you don't say?)
I have not one single fannish Tumblr on my feed now. No one can be trusted (aside from my Miss Muse), I have painfully found out. I took K_B off my feed last night because someone put in their g.d. author's notes to a fic post "now that we all need a little..." blah blah - which means that they are hinting about a spoiler/speculation/red herring and now I AM INFECTED WITH IT. :(
Everyone can have the fannish experience they want. Which seems to be that they want to be angry and hate a show they continue to watch (oh my god, don't even get me started on the BZUH?-ness of that). So why can't I have the fannish experience I want? Which is to watch the show when it airs, and then talk - BEHIND A CUT - about what I liked, etc? Because people are selfish, that's why. I'm sorry if that makes you angry with me. (People who don't care about my wishes and wants make ME angry.) As
flaming_muse said: spoilers should be OPT IN, not OPT OUT.
I've had four different fics on my hard drive that I've essentially deleted. I can't even consider moving forward with any of them, because my joy in the show and sharing it are pretty much gone - not to mention the whole "feeling paralyzed about writing the future with hints of what's to come having been carelessly posted."
I'm just tired of selfish behavior. It's like the majority of the people on the internet exhibit ADD behavior: complete lack of impulse control and thinking things through, or having empathy for others. /killjoy.
There are a handful of people that I enjoy in this fandom, and I'll continue to read them (and I'm talking, like six people), but man - the rest of the fandom has pretty much killed it for me. I've been in one fandom or another since I was, hmm. 11? I'm 40. I've never had such a negative experience. I say this not to be a whiner, but to stress how UNUSUAL this behavior is. This is not how fandoms typically behave, n00bs. As I tell my kids and their friends: Manners are free, so there's no excuse for you to not have any.
Not that it's a hardship to other fan-types in Glee that I'm not really wanting to play ball anymore, I'm not trying to prop myself up in importance (because let's face it - I'm not.) I'm just expressing myself in my personal fannish space.
ION, I bought my son skinny jeans and they bag on him. O_O The child eats almost $200 in groceries A WEEK. If I could bottle his metabolism...
[ETA]: Just to clear the record: I'm not trying to be all sniffy/flouncing. I'm expressing my frustration, is all. (And it should go without saying that there should be NO MENTIONS OF SPOILERS OF ANY KIND in comments here. Or speculation. Or red herrings. Or mention of Brussels sprouts. Because those are gross and make you fart.)
I have not one single fannish Tumblr on my feed now. No one can be trusted (aside from my Miss Muse), I have painfully found out. I took K_B off my feed last night because someone put in their g.d. author's notes to a fic post "now that we all need a little..." blah blah - which means that they are hinting about a spoiler/speculation/red herring and now I AM INFECTED WITH IT. :(
Everyone can have the fannish experience they want. Which seems to be that they want to be angry and hate a show they continue to watch (oh my god, don't even get me started on the BZUH?-ness of that). So why can't I have the fannish experience I want? Which is to watch the show when it airs, and then talk - BEHIND A CUT - about what I liked, etc? Because people are selfish, that's why. I'm sorry if that makes you angry with me. (People who don't care about my wishes and wants make ME angry.) As
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I've had four different fics on my hard drive that I've essentially deleted. I can't even consider moving forward with any of them, because my joy in the show and sharing it are pretty much gone - not to mention the whole "feeling paralyzed about writing the future with hints of what's to come having been carelessly posted."
I'm just tired of selfish behavior. It's like the majority of the people on the internet exhibit ADD behavior: complete lack of impulse control and thinking things through, or having empathy for others. /killjoy.
There are a handful of people that I enjoy in this fandom, and I'll continue to read them (and I'm talking, like six people), but man - the rest of the fandom has pretty much killed it for me. I've been in one fandom or another since I was, hmm. 11? I'm 40. I've never had such a negative experience. I say this not to be a whiner, but to stress how UNUSUAL this behavior is. This is not how fandoms typically behave, n00bs. As I tell my kids and their friends: Manners are free, so there's no excuse for you to not have any.
Not that it's a hardship to other fan-types in Glee that I'm not really wanting to play ball anymore, I'm not trying to prop myself up in importance (because let's face it - I'm not.) I'm just expressing myself in my personal fannish space.
ION, I bought my son skinny jeans and they bag on him. O_O The child eats almost $200 in groceries A WEEK. If I could bottle his metabolism...
[ETA]: Just to clear the record: I'm not trying to be all sniffy/flouncing. I'm expressing my frustration, is all. (And it should go without saying that there should be NO MENTIONS OF SPOILERS OF ANY KIND in comments here. Or speculation. Or red herrings. Or mention of Brussels sprouts. Because those are gross and make you fart.)
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Date: 2012-08-17 02:54 pm (UTC)which means I am so far behind on Near Misses :() as a good reason to work on other things (work, college). I'm hoping the situation will improve when the season starts again.no subject
Date: 2012-08-17 02:58 pm (UTC)But yes - being responsible in other areas of your life is always a good thing. (I do think you should reward yourself with a catch up read, though. :D)
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Date: 2012-08-17 03:13 pm (UTC)I hope that when the season starts, you can enjoy it again.
*hugs*
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Date: 2012-08-17 03:18 pm (UTC)I'm genuinely curious (because I haven't ever had a negative experience with you, so I'm just interested) about what your differences are with my approach to fandom?
Also, thank you for being sweet about my few contributions. :)
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Date: 2012-08-17 03:18 pm (UTC)Put on your mad scientist pants and get to work on that metabolism juice! I am in dire need of a boost.
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Date: 2012-08-17 03:22 pm (UTC)I just ignore the other parts.
Man, I would really like a boost of that Metabolism, too. IT DID NOT COME FROM MY SIDE OF THE FAMILY, let me just put that out there.
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Date: 2012-08-17 03:22 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-08-17 03:25 pm (UTC)And you're right on the money with the people that seem to want to complain the loudest are always the first to comment! Or are the most prolific, etc.
Which...knock yourselves out (those people). I'm just not hanging on those corners any more. I concede the territory and have retreated to my own space. =/
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Date: 2012-08-17 03:24 pm (UTC)In other words, if you love writing it, please continue because plenty of us love reading it!
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Date: 2012-08-17 03:29 pm (UTC)It just ruins the whole experience for me. I don't flip to the back of the book; I don't want to know what's going to happen in a movie or TV show. I like sitting down, a blank slate, and letting all of the hard work that the cast and crew put into their project wow me as they intended it to. *shrug*
I know that's a different thing in this particular fandom; I'm just not built the same way.
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Date: 2012-08-17 03:54 pm (UTC)Can I ask if this is a pairing-specific problem? I've never noticed a problem with my preferred pairing's comm -- but then I'll freely admit I'm only here for the fic, and that the way I enjoy my fandom pretty much only by reading story communities and by talking to my little circle of friends through chat/chain mails/text messages. I'm a very introverted fangirl and I'm happy with that. :D
Is it possible for you to move more towards something like that -- just hanging out with other fans that have the same views/ideals?
Barring that, I know it sounds bad, but you could look for other shows to get into? Anything whose median age isn't 12? :(
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Date: 2012-08-17 04:08 pm (UTC)But people didn't set out with determination to destroy the source material/destroy the experience for others. I feel that's how it is in Glee. People want to tear the whole show down and make it the [Insert One pairing, remove all other characters] Show.
I'm a fan of ALL of the characters. Yes, even Sebastian. I love to hate Sebastian, but I like him on my screen, when he's there. Having said that, I'm predominately a Klaine writer, and like reading Klaine stories. (I'll read any well written Gen fic, too.) I don't hate Finchel, Britanna, etc.
So now I'm faced with the fact that I cannot participate in fandom like I'd want to, because it makes me miserable. I have a very small group of people that I can talk to about the show, and do. I just want to write fanfic. I want to READ fanfic.
But not in Glee, not anymore. Barring the very few people that I know are reasonable (and respectful) fans. *shrug*
I have other fannish outlets, I mean, I run a website dedicated to joyful squeeing of various shows. Glee was my main fandom after Jossverse closed and I was adrift, looking for something to sink into.
And you know... there's that whole raising three kids, writing my own stories, being a Master Gardener stuff keeping me busy. I just am an old school fangirl, and wish I had a place to set my hat, is all.
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Date: 2012-08-17 03:55 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-08-17 04:09 pm (UTC)I guess I'm just old and lame.
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Date: 2012-08-17 04:01 pm (UTC)And I can't read the comments in this entry because god knows what people might hint about spoilers IT'S THAT BAD AROUND THE INTERNET.
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Date: 2012-08-17 04:10 pm (UTC)SO FAR ALL COMMENTS ARE SAFE. (Girlfriend, I would delete/screen those so fast...) but I get your point. :(
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From:get offa my fucking lawn you younguns with your hula hoops and spoilers
Date: 2012-08-17 04:02 pm (UTC)Re: get offa my fucking lawn you younguns with your hula hoops and spoilers
Date: 2012-08-17 04:11 pm (UTC)I pretty much only follow architecture blogs, gardening blogs, and Liz. Which means pictures of macaroni and cheese, the ocean, and hot bitches. And Teen Wolf. :D
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Date: 2012-08-17 05:55 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-08-17 06:14 pm (UTC)And re-reading some greats like Being Kurt Hummel and Not The Boy Next Door. :)
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Date: 2012-08-17 06:05 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-08-17 06:18 pm (UTC)OH MY GOD I AM SO SO SORRY ABOUT THE SPOILERS!!! That's essentially what happened to me just scrolling by fic posts and seeing spoilers referred to in the A/Ns, like it was common knowledge. SAD FACE.
I heard a spoiler a month ago and it just destroyed my ability to keep writing the story I had begun. (That and my own crippling sense of self-doubt, lol.)
But yes. You can count on Miss Muse and myself to be deathly allergic to spoilers. It's one of the many reasons why I love her so. :)
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Date: 2012-08-17 08:17 pm (UTC)I worry that social media is changing tv so that spoilers, rumours, alternate plot lines are almost a shadow version of shows. TV insiders seem to fuel it as advertising and marketing. Maybe we're heading down a Choose Your Own Adventure style of tv production?
*shudder*
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Date: 2012-08-17 08:20 pm (UTC)I hate to say it, but you're not wrong with your speculation that spoilers are the new TV experience. I see more activity over spoilers than I do the actual show. It's...weird.
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Date: 2012-08-17 10:49 pm (UTC)Spoilers suck. I was following a show for ages and a workmate, who knew I was a spoilerphobe, casually suddently mentioned that I'd enjoy the last episode because it had a twist that you could never see coming. Which meant I now knew that all the threads that were pointing certain ways were red herrings and meant that it would be the most unlikely person - and it was. I'm unleashing my pain on to you so that I might one day walk into the sun and smile again. Lovely person, but what a fuckwit.
My last fandom - had nothing to do with any communities whatsoever (aside from the occassional link to a story on the newsletter space, with plenty of warnings beforehand what the subject matter was about) and ruthlessly cut people out left, right and centre until I got the fannish experience that I wanted. I even told a couple of people to unfriend me because they were apparently very upset with what I was writing but weren't prepared not to read it (not that you can avoid that when it's in a shared community space, but that was the point, it was my own personal journal).
People want their own individual expectations to be satisfied by the fanish hivemind, but unfortunately that's never going to happen because people's individual expectations of what life should be like isn't satisfied by the behaviour of others, so why should online be any different. What I'm saying is that people are jerks and we should hate everyone and twitch our front window curtains aside and scowl at the neighbours kids and write angry letters to the council.
I'm going to live in a cave. Rocks will be my friends.
I am sorry that fandom is being a dick. Have you thought about drinking heavily? I find that helps most things. Except my chronic alcoholism, but I have meth for that.
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Date: 2012-08-18 01:38 am (UTC)I'll need to apply 750L of vodka to make sure, though. Thanks, Doctor D!
(And of course - I agree with everything you've said. I remember how unhappy you got in your fandom. :( Stupid spoilers...)
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Date: 2012-08-17 11:31 pm (UTC)And I went like this "AHHH AVERT THE EYES SCROLL SCROLL SCROLLLLLL!!!"
oh and edited to add I don't care HOW old the thing is, try to be thoughtful. I don't even spoil opera plots. Even the 400 year old ones.
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Date: 2012-08-18 01:38 am (UTC)(no subject)
From:Fanfic vs. fandom
Date: 2012-08-17 11:45 pm (UTC)I hope the abandonment of fic isn't a permanent thing - for me, personally, writing fic tends to be utterly separate from fandom, more of an escape than anything else. So when I'm most emotionally distrustful/detached from the show is usually my most productive time. :)
Re: Fanfic vs. fandom
Date: 2012-08-18 01:36 am (UTC)I can't think about what I want to do with any fic I've got mapped out, because I'm paralyzed by the "Well, if in canon it goes THIS way..."
:(
But thanks for the virtual support. <3
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Date: 2012-08-18 01:18 am (UTC)I choose not to engage in the bitching and wank, and enjoy the beautiful fic that comes through my dash, fic like yours and Miss Muse's beautiful stories. The Bones of You continues to be at the top of my list, but Near Misses is a close second!
Re: spoilers suck
Date: 2012-08-18 01:42 am (UTC)I'm still on Tumblr, but only for pretty pictures that make me happy - nothing fannish. It's a way I can continue to follow certain blogs but not have any further enjoyment in something (here I mean Glee) squashed by speculation. It's not even the negativity (which is absolutely baffling to me) - it's just having the excitement of discovery taken away.
And it means a LOT to hear that you enjoy TBoY that much. Oh, did the hate for that story start the ball rolling on my unhappiness with the fandom... But Near Misses? That right there is perfection. <3
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Date: 2012-08-18 02:14 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-08-18 02:43 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-08-18 02:18 am (UTC)What I don't understand about 'kids these days' is the HATE. Don't like it? Don't watch it. You don't have to rant about it and ruin it for the rest of us. Even the couple of people on my FB who watch Glee would comment "I am so done with this show - it gets worse and worse all the time". So then what? Those of us who still like it are stupid? I don't know.
I do know that I work full time and have 2 kids and a husband. I like the songs of Glee. I think Darren is about the most beautiful man I've seen for a long time and I love what he's done to make Blaine such an endearing character. I started reading tumblr about a year ago, kinda hoping to find people who felt the same way. Don't have my own tumblr - just read them through Google reader. Found lots of interesting people but lots of bullshit too.
I'm not really sure what my point is here other than to say I've always loved the things you've written. I'm reading Near Misses and just loving what flaming_muse is doing. It is fantastic. I'd hate to see anyone drive the two of you out of Fandom. Maybe we need a If You Weren't Born in the 70s, Get Off My Lawn tumblr where those of us who can play nice with others can go :)
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Date: 2012-08-18 02:48 am (UTC)I stayed off the internet and TV for the Olympics, too. I just want to be surprised, is that too much to ask? (In some circles, it seems so.)
Laws, I am right there with you on the hate. Why...aren't they watching something else? The other thing that gets me is when they hate the writers of the show, but love the characters. Um...the writers are MAKING THE CHARACTERS? I just don't get it. Different strokes, I suppose. (Ugh, the supposition that if I still enjoy it, if I'm still happy - that somehow makes me a moron? Um...)
Boy, am I not going to argue with your definition of Darren. What an amazing person, both inside and out. *fans self* I feel the same about Chris, too. (And Lea, and Corey, and Naya, and...)
I'm glad you piped up - I think those of us that are seeking out a similar fannish experience ought to stick together. That way we can have someone to bounce our joy off of (which to me is the point of fandom) and also have intelligent and NON-HATEFUL discussions about plot, story, etc.
(And really, how freaking amazing is
agree with both of you
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Date: 2012-08-18 03:41 am (UTC)It breaks my heart that you've abandoned (I cannot bear to type "deleted") any story you were previously excited about, or that anyone would dampen your joy in any way.
((((hugs you))))
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Date: 2012-08-18 03:23 pm (UTC)Gah, I sat in front of my computer for almost two solid weeks, staring at this one story and almost sobbing with the inability to go forward with it, the spoilers lurking in the back of my mind. I've tried and tried to write things all summer (since July, when the first leak happened) and just can't. It's been utter misery. :(
*hugs you*
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Date: 2012-08-18 05:11 am (UTC)Sorry, I just turned that into a bit of a rant, but I just meant to say that I TOTALLY get where you're coming from and think you're right to take the steps you need to keep the show fun for you. I wish random could be as good to you as the show is!
(And I'm a little sad to hear that you're tossing your fics; I love your vision of the Glee characters.)
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Date: 2012-08-18 03:27 pm (UTC)So there goes me sending thank you's to readers, if they happened to have been kind enough to post/rec about anything I've written. (That has happened TWICE. One with my username!)
Oh, that wasn't a rant, that was a shared worry imb! I'm the same. And now I can't even look for new pictures of the actors anywhere off set for fear that I'll stumble on something about filming. So no more fangirling for me. *shrug* It's just a new experience for me, since I've been a fangirl in some fashion since - gosh, since Star Wars originally came out!
SIGH. (Also, thank you for the support.) <3
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Date: 2012-08-18 11:08 am (UTC)Also, if you're looking for a new, possibly better fandom, I highly recommend Teen Wolf. A lot of people on my f-list have recently gotten into it. =)
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Date: 2012-08-18 03:31 pm (UTC)The youth (at heart, or in actuality - both can apply) factor is definitely a problem. Not that there's anything wrong with learning how to participate in a fandom, we've all been there at some point, but it's the entitlement - as you've said - that absolutely baffles me.
No, the writers do NOT owe you a particular story. The actors do NOT owe you an explanation for why something is how it is. Etc. I find a lot of that behavior embarrassing, truth be told.
Oh, Teen Wolf is about to debut on my fan-media-site so I'm well aware of that juggernaut! But I think there is going to be the exact same issue there - it's targeted at high school-aged girls. (I should know, my daughter has watching parties each week!) I'm glad that people are happy with it - I just don't feel fannish about that show. I love many shows, but there are few where I want to explore character and story in a fannish way.
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Date: 2012-08-18 06:37 pm (UTC)I'm not as dedicated to avoiding spoilers as you are, but I do not like them, and I've found myself having to pull away from one corner after another of this fandom as they've spread. It just makes me sad, because I kinda need this happy little place in my world right now.
*Hugs you*
(And I'm all for bottling my son's metabolism, as long as it doesn't barrage my brain with nothing but video games and SpongeBob.)
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Date: 2012-08-18 10:30 pm (UTC)I need this happy place, too. Fortunately, I'm still maintaining HDJM as a place to discuss episodes after they've aired in a positive and fannish way, so that won't change for me - which is a relief. And flaming_muse is still my girl (let's face it, she's a Real Life best friend, in addition to being my fandom BFF) so I'll always have her fic to read.
Maybe if those few of us that crave a specific fannish experience continue to hang with each other and block out the negativity, we can get a little corner of our world back? I'm hoping so, because i really need this happy little place, too.
*hugs you back*
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Date: 2012-08-19 01:50 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-08-19 05:14 am (UTC)Poor, poor FM - she had someone comment to an older fic in the past few days with a spoiler! Just... who the does that?! I've had people drop me anon messages (one person actually CREATED A FAKE ACCOUNT to drop me a line with a spoiler in it) and I...what? I have never experienced anything like it in my life.
The nice thing about this post is how many people are coming out of the woodwork to say that they're on our side of this debate - we're not alone! :)
It's just...baffling.
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Date: 2012-08-20 12:58 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-08-20 01:33 am (UTC)BAH.
One good thing to come out of this (aside from your hilarious icon, ha!) is that I'm meeting more adults in the fandom who share my anti-spoiler/behave, girls! mindset, so that's a huge bonus.
<3 You're such a sweetheart, I should add. Thanks.
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Date: 2012-08-20 02:47 am (UTC)I just don't get it ...they are called "spoilers" - that has to be the most obvious, self-explanatory name ever. What about that says "this is good, let's share this with the world"? NOTHING!
I'm just going to offer you a hug now - and a wish that maybe you'll find a part of this community to come back to, that is respectful and manners-filled, so that you'll have a fandom to roll around in again. (((big.hug)))
p.s: When you figure out how to bottle your son's metabolism, I demand [with painful, but polite, urgency] that you share it with me! PLEASE!
p.p.s: ....these people made Stoney delete fics? FOUR FICS THAT SHOULD HAVE BEEN OUT HERE IN THE WORLD, making us smile and cry and think and feel? *I'm gritting my teeth so hard now in anger* *^#(*^#(*!()
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Date: 2012-08-20 02:09 pm (UTC)And THANK YOU: SPOILERS. The name says it all! It spoils it. Mold. Rotten. Ruined. Trash. No wonder they're all angry all the time! Pfft.
(You know, the stories I deleted had just turned into utter bunk and weren't worth saving. No big loss to the world. Not to mention that the reminder that they were sitting on my computer made me feel miserable. So. Practicing self-care! <3)