We're staying in tonight because it's rainy and my husband is looking especially cuddly tonight. If you are home and looking for things to read that are entertaining, OH DO I HAVE THINGS FOR YOU.

1. We have a new recapper, an old friend of mine that is quite funny, Sophie, who is recapping the new season of Sherlock. Link is to her debut to HDJM. :)

2. Touch is also humming along, building new readers as people realize just how funny (and insightful) our lovely Janey Ford is.

3. Apparently The Vampire Diaries was intense last night? That's what I'm gathering - and the recap is live, and waiting for your thoughts.

4. We still have the Glee recap hanging out, as well as my love for 80/90s rom com proms. :D

5. And what is quickly becoming the most popular post we've ever had in HDJM history (and we've had some big ones), The Avengers - the avengening! (And The Borgias, and Mad Men and... We can keep you laughing tonight/this weekend, is what I'm saying.)

Other recs: searing a square of mozzarella on a non-stick pan, cutting it into cubes, topping each cube with a piece of roasted red pepper and consuming alongside a delicious bottle of red. Which reminds me of a line from an earlier episode of Cougar Town where Ellie is sitting with two empty bottles of wine. Travis asks her how she's standing (she drank both) and she said, "Pfft. It's only white wine." AHAHA.
I love Leslie Knope, in case that wasn't clear. Also, sure, jogging is good for you, but at what cost? LOL. It' you're not watching Parks and Rec, then you are seriously missing out. It's not The Office-lite. At all. (The Office is kinda...meh.)

It's still hunting season, so the Mr. and 2/3 of my chirrens are gone most weekends, #2 is now heavily involved with volunteering in the community (which is lovely) so she's gone this weekend, which leaves me and Sally Derg. Wait. Even Sally Derg is going away - to the deer lease. Hmm, I shall use this as a chance to dance naked and plot my eventual take over of the world catch up on laundry, reading, and writing.

Also, remind me to not post introspective/navel gazing shit on my LJ anymore, would ya? Apparently it's really gross and irritating to a lot of people. =/ Then I feel like I'm walking around with the internet equivalent of TP on my shoe. I am the girl that WANTS YOU TO POINT OUT WHEN I HAVE SPINACH IN MY TEETH. Please. :)

The Weekly Wrap Up on HDJM: (Supernatural comes in the AM, btw.)
American Horror Story (Piggy Piggy)
X-Factor - Top 11 + The Results Vampire Diaries - Homecoming
Top Chef - Final 16
Ringer - Maybe We Should..
Glee - The First Time
RHoBH - Your Face Or Mine?
Hoarders - Judy, Jerry
Boardwalk Empire - Peg of Old
Walking Dead - Cherokee Rose
Supernatural - Mentalists

OH HAI. Sam, of "Captain America, The Eagle, and Thor" recapping fame will be doing THE IMMORTALS, So you know you'll have something else hilarious to read by Monday. (And then. THEN. Breaking Dawn. I need closure, you guys. Also, a lot of laughing. NEED.)

AND DON'T FORGET TO PICK UP SOME COOL MERCH. (Zoom in to see the great details on each design)
First, those pumpkin spice cupcakes with cinnamon cream cheese frosting: I believe the kids call it Om Nom Nom )

We're having carrot soup and homemade bread today to prepare our bellehs for tomorrow's feastings. Sally dog knows she's going to be getting a bone tomorrow, and she's all a'quiver with excitement.

I have so much cleaning to do today, plus sewing, plus napping, and avoiding the first two things. I think that fourth item is going to keep me the busiest. I need everyone reading this to tell me how much I suck for not getting a LICK of writing done all week, and how that is going to make the rest of my life miserable.

Since this is going to be a weird day online for most U.S. peeps, I leave you with things to read and laugh at, courtesy of 30 Rock's Tracy Jordan and Dr. Spaceman (spuh-CHEE-man:)
  • I believe there are 31 letters in the white people's alphabet!
  • I love you so much I'm going to take you behind the middle school and get you pregnant!
  • That's racist! I'm not on crack! I'm straight up mentally ill!
  • Affirmative action was designed to keep women and minorities in competition with each other to distract us while white dudes inject AIDS into our chicken nuggets.
  • So, here's some advice I wish I woulda got when I was your age: Live every week like it's Shark Week.
  • Stop eating people's old French fries, pigeon; have some self respect! Don't you know you can fly?

  • There's no real way to know just exactly where the human heart is.
  • Science is whatever we want it to be.
  • I am very serious about doctor-patient confidentiality, so I am gonna have to ask that all four of us keep this to ourselves.
  • Boy, it's crazy to think we used to settle questions of paternity by dunking a woman in water until she admitted she made it all up. Different time, the '60s.

(If you aren't watching that show, I just don't know what to do with you.) Have a GREAT holiday for those that celebrate! Have a GREAT Thursday for those that don't! ;)

[eta] because it's just too funny. Dennis' (pager man) letter to Liz [pre-emptive guffaw here]:
Dear Liz Lemon:

While other women have bigger boobs than you, no woman has as big a heart. When I saw you getting ready to go out and get nailed by a bunch of guys last night, I knew for sure it was over between us. And for the first time since the '86 World Series, I cried. I cried like a big dumb homo. And if it was up to me, we would be together forever. But there's a new thing called "women's liberation" which gives you women the right to choose and you have chosen to abort me, and that I must live with it. So tonight when you arrive home, I will be gone. I officially renounce my squatter's rights. I'll always love you. Goodbye and good luck. I'll never forget you.
"Lead Paint: Delicious, But Deadly" and "Dig Your Own Grave And Save!" So, I got an audition call for later today for an industry film, and I'm very excited to become a Troy McClure, if you will. And you will. Which means that I'm thinking of all the hilarious Troy McClure moments on the Simpsons, and that makes me happy.

Troy: Nothing beats a stroll in cattle country. Hi, I'm Troy McClure. You may remember me from such educational films as "Two Minus Three Equals Negative Fun" and "Firecrackers: The Silent Killer".
Jimmy: Mr. McClure?
Troy: Oh! Hello Bobby.
Jimmy: Jimmy. I'm curious as to how meat gets from the ranch to my stomach.
Troy: Whoa, whoa, whoa! Slow down Jimmy. You just asked a mouthful. It all starts here, in the high density feed lot. Then, when the cattle are just right [swipes his finger along the top of a cow and licks it] Yum...it's time for them to graduate from Bovine University.
A klaxon blares out a siren and the cattle begin moving up a conveyor belt into the meat packing plant.
Troy: Come on Jimmy, let's take a peek at the killing floor.
Jimmy: Ohhh!
Troy: Don't let the name throw you Jimmy. It's not really a floor, it's more of a steel grating that allows material to sluice through so it can be collected and exported.

Good times, good times. "I have a crazy friend who says its wrong to eat meat. Is he crazy?" "No, just ignorant! You see, your crazy friend never heard of the food chain." <-- if anyone has a clip of that moment with all the random animals eating each other, that needs to be an icon. I'm just saying.

I smirked through most of Palin's speech last night. Wow, if you believed everything she said, she's a real hero of the American People! Except for how she actually did the opposite of a lot of what she said, like taking the LARGEST CHUNK OF FEDERAL MONEY for her state in its HISTORY. Yeah, the "liberals" are really into raising taxes and spending. I believe that's some fib on your upper lip, ma'am. This drum beating all the GOP is doing about "getting the big spending liberals out of Washington" is CRACKING ME UP, esp. from Mitt "Your Money is MY Money!" Romney. Um, the Dems haven't spent any money because the GOP spent it all. And then some!

[eta] hahah, I just read a comment that claims that all Palin cares about is zygotes and invisible friends. That's a good one.

Whoooo. Okay, that'll just get me in a bad mood for the day, and I need to be perky and "polished" in a few hours. Twinklecrest will have to wait until tomorrow.

"Locker Room Towel Fights : The Blinding of Larry Driscoll!" Hahahaha. I <3 Troy.

June 2017

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