Okay, this may just be an exercise in futility. But. I did say that I was serious about improving as a writer, and yeah, this is just porn. And yeah I wrote this a year ago. And yeah I'm feeling seriously beaten down and thick and dumb about anything and everything I produce, so... let's see if this old dog can't learn a few new tricks. Can I sell myself or WHAT??!
And here's the concrit I got
- all valid. An aside: um, I FINALLY figured out what I'm doing with the POV thing. Yeah, I seriously need this level of pointing out. I'm using "feeling words" for each person. OOOoooooh. That's what- Ah. (Now if I can only figure out what to do about the "speech, action, speech" thing I apparently do... Argh!) ON TO THE GIRL SEX.Untitled Doctor Kink Girl-Slash!!Spoilers
: Season 5 (mid-way) of Angel, slightly AU, I prefer to call it hopeful.Characters
: R-ish - is PWP!Concept
: Faith drops in on her old Watcher, and Fred thinks Faith should be looked over in the lab - Willow's spell could have adverse effects, you know - and it's after hours. In the labs of Wolfram and Hart.( Warning: Sex in a Lab. With instruments. )and next time I'll pick one of the participants for the POV, because I don't want all the NAMES in the fic.