Karma Laundrette

Note: I didn't. I've had sick children all weekend. #2 had the stomach bug, The Boy and Em had little colds, and today I had to pick up The Boy who now has the stomach bug. I am using a lot of Lysol. No me gusta tummy troubles. I helped my sister start moving into her new place on Saturday and I am so excited for her! I also have some pretty sweet bruises on my biceps from moving a sofa, so I feel tough. (Ha.) Which reminds me that I've yet to do P90X today.

Got the recap to the season finale of Real Housewives of New Jersey up, and man, this was a long-ass season. I thought they would have the normal 8 eps, but they stretched it to NINETEEN. Burned the hell out on that cray cray, ngl.

Because I was on sick watch, I actually got a lot of reading in, which I haven't been able to do in a long time. My current obsession (Glee, Klaine specifically) is a tough fandom, because there's not a lot of consideration for composition and grammar, one, and everyone wants porn. And... well. I've been in fandom a long time, and I have longtime friends that are PROFESSIONAL PORN WRITERS. So I'm a little spoiled. It's hard to find quality, is what I'm getting at (R/NC-17 or not.) I back out of the crying woobie-fied, fics that are everywhere, the repetitive borrowed phrases (holy crap, enough with "blown pupils" and "lay there wrecked." It's in EVERYTHING. Stop. Find a new way to say it, folks)

I did find two stories last night that I thought were nice, both by the same author. Not a lot of comments on them, which is sad, so if you do read, give her some attention. :) desirousof wrote a nice tie in to Merlin (even though I don't watch that show and would have like more about their reaction to it, than them talking about Merlin, because again: I don't watch it) and how someone that loves you can help you love something more when its shared. Take All The Courage You Have Left, PG. If you're looking for something naughtier, her Hard R As Soon As You Go is an easily- digested, first-love, sneaking off to have sexy times story. (Same author, name change, I believe.)

Wine Recs! Both Napa Cabs, the first is Oberon 2008. Oooh, this one was lovely. Not overly okay (which I don't care for) and a clean finish. Had it with a cheese board and salamis, would be awesome with any red meat. (Or nutty, spicy cheeses and veggies.)

#2 Atlas Peak, 2005 and this one was OUTSTANDING. Open it up, give it 15 minutes, then start drinking. Spicy, almost like a quality Spanish wine, but not overpowering. Had this with some blue cheese and bacon on crostinis, and it was a most delicious dinner for me. :) This one doesn't have a sweet finish, so I really enjoyed it. (No me gusta "vanilla" in wine.)

So what's up, chicken butts? Link me to fabulous things as it appears I'm going to be on continued sick duty for a bit. *chinfists*

It's only Monday, so I feel good about that. What work, you might ask this stay at home mom? DUH.

Glee: SEXY. Oh my god, the love I have for so much in this episode. I do get onto Holly Holiday, though. (Not like that!! My sweet lady kisses are for Santana.)

Will writes on the whiteboard in class the next day: “SEXY.” He starts talking about when a man and a woman, or whatever combination you happen to be, he’s not there to judge, when you and someone else love each other very much, sometimes you want to try and make your puzzle pieces fit together in a dark room. Afterward, you’ll probably cry a lot. This is natural.

RHoNJ: holy crap, Gay Greg is my new favorite housewife. Also, Milania makes me think of that kid from the Twilight Zone, the one who would put you in the cornfield.

Juicy tries once again to end the headache that is her voice and says, “Yeah. Whatever. It's not us, it's them. I don't start nothing.” OH OKAY CLEARLY WE'RE ALL BLIND AND DUMB NOW. Here, let me Anne Sullivan things for you, Juicy, and waterboard you until you get that I'm signing “eff you!” into your palm.

From our other writers:
True Blood! GUYS THIS SHOW, I DON'T EVEN.

It’s Halloween and everyone at Merlotte’s is in costume, because despite living amongst vampires, witches, werewolves and maenads, they haven’t lost their sense of whimsy. Terry and Arlene are dressed as zombies, and Arlene tells Sookie that zombies are the new vamps (someone made the closeout sale at Borders, apparently).

Spartacus: OH MY GOD, IT IS SO SAD ABOUT ANDY WHITFIELD DYING. :( Too young, too young.

Alone in his cell, Spartacus is daydreaming in his tiny gladiator panties about his many recent sweaty and blood-spattered exertions in the arena, to the delighted screams of the crowd. Hm, is he starting to enjoy his fame? The tiny smile on his face at the end of the very next day’s games says OH YES INDEED.

I have dl'd a ridiculous amount of fanfic to my Kindle and plan on sitting with my feet in the pool, reading, as my reward for being so virtuous. (And tonight is RHoBH!! Everyone needs some Lisa Vanderpump in their life. Everyone.)

Just thought I'd get that out of the way. :D It's been a nice one, quiet, had a good lunch with my dad, dinner tonight with the Mr. and not a stitch of cleaning will be done by me. Miss Emily turned 10 yesterday and I am officially out of babies. I even had to buy training bras this weekend. WAH, STOP GROWING.

The kids are having grandparent time starting Wednesday, so I have my house all to myself until SATURDAY. I might just pass out from excitement, I'm not even joking. I am going to be getting up to all sorts of shenanigans, just you watch. I might not even make my bed you guys, I just don't know how this fun fest is going to play itself out. Start saving bail money.

I'm going to take a break (I've been working all morning on the site, etc., because I'm a good do-bee) and shoot some Orcs in the face with bows and arrows for a bit because it's too hot to be outside. Again. Eh, that's August. Also, there is nothing more banal than someone dithering on about the weather, so I'll shaddup.

MEANWHILE, if you need something to read, we've got Planet of the Apes, Spartacus Blood and Sand 1.5, True Blood 4.7, and RHoNJ 3.12 for you! Tomorrow is Hoarders & Breaking Bad. Good stuff, folks, good stuff. (I'm most excited for Jersey Shore, won't lie. OH, and the Glee recaps will start back up this week, I def. needed last week off what with the site crashing every five minutes. Oy.)

ALSO I THINK I SHALL EATS SOME CAKES. I like making a cake for my daughter the day before - leftover cake is just enough. :)

OH!! AND I HAVE NOT WATCHED TRUE BLOOD. Please, no spoilers. 10-Q!

Because that's what I've been eating almost all weekend. Mmmm, avocados. Fresh tomatoes, garlic from the garden... And I made some baked taquitos that are so good, oh man. We were celebrating the Mr's promotion this weekend by being lazy slugs and eating. <-- THE AMERICAN DREAM.

crazydiamondsue had some problems last night (nothing to worry about, just time consuming, etc.) that is going to keep her from putting up her True Blood recap until this evening. But trust me when I say you're going to want to read it, if only for her take on the ridiculous Hot Shot happenings. Not to mention Vienna Sausage appe-teasers.

BUT! Fear not, those of you with the Mondays. elizardbits is back with Spartacus! Read the Blood & Sand recap here.

And the Real Housewives of New Jersey recap is now online, here you are. (Oh my god, the sparkle suit on that gorilla.) Kim G returns. She is SO AWFUL. I love watching her awfulness, I won't lie.

Tonight is Hoarders, and I've already begun my home cleanse in preparation.

For those that might want to try my baked taquitos, the recipe is under the cut. ( This way to OmNomVille. )

I still have some leftovers, so instead of teaching the kids how to cook tonight, we're going to make cookies. Tomorrow we're making Indian food, because I want some palak paneer (paneer is fun to make) and some naan and dal. YUM.

It is a million degrees out, so I'm waiting for it to be a reasonable hour for me to have a margarita and float in the pool with it. I say 4 is a good time. Right? Hmm. (Hahaha, I sound like a lush.)

Speaking of being a lush, those of you that have been following my Glee recaps have gotten some pretty boss cocktail recipes. I made the Friday cocktail (The Dirty Hippie) a few times this weekend. Tie dyed cocktails that taste good? OK. I changed up the way you can search on the main page - the shows/movies/books are clearly listed at the top with hyperlinks. Hopefully that looks far less cluttered.

CAPERS! Love 'em. Eat 'em. Put 'em on shit. Then... eat them. I highly recommend their salty, sour goodness.
SLEEPING! At least 7 hours a night! Which I did not get last night because I was up too late reading
THIS FIC! skintightsocks A Kurt/Blaine NC-17 first time, first summer with a boyfriend, trying to sneak around your parents tale. So good. So funny. So ridiculously hot. What is happening to me!? Complete, 3 parts, all linked (thank you, authors!)
MALAPROPISM RAPS! Okay, that's a shameless pimp, but I am having a lot of fun with the Real Housewives of New Jersey and their horrendous vocabulary. Worth ethnic, people. Worth ethnic.
mary_flanner has another fabulous fic in the works, but there are three parts left to go, so once it's all posted I'll share to keep you from the pain I'm feeling. (Really, everything she writes is excellent. One of the best fanfic writers I've come across, ever. <-- high praise, given who I've read over the years. I do wish she had a better homynym beta reader, though. I notice them - like, two in five stories, it's not a big deal - because I do that a lot. Alot. <-- not actually a homynym)
CAMPS! Put your kids in them! Wear them out! Watch them excell! Pay through the nose! Wait, that last part sucks.
CHOCOLATE! I need some right this minute, preferably in the form of chocolate chip cookies. To the kitchen I fly!

( Wait, a quick poll for you! )