Book of Mormon had to go up first, come on.

Still can't stop singing the songs. Not that it's a problem. :D The How to Succeed In Business Without Really Trying and Sleep No More reviews will go up tomorrow, then I can start writing this next 100K frickin' story that's crowding my brain....

Have a great weekend, errbody!
And that a bunch of land-locked Jews made submarines and sailed to America where there were bees, horses, and they made roads with re bar and wrote on golden plates. Yes, I'm mocking myself for having been Mormon, good times.

You can read my reviews of the Book of Mormon: The Musical's soundtrack here. You'll never hear a more beautiful voice sing about how "soon life won't be so... shitty!" than in this soundtrack. GOOD TIMES.


Yesterday saw our biggest spike in hits yet, 1400 in one day - not too shabby for not advertising, right? Most popular links are the Game of Thrones recaps and Sam's Thor review, because we're awesome and hilarious and Sam uses pictures.

OK. Yesterday, in between running like a chicken sans head, I finally sat and read the Sweet Valley Confidential book. WOW, IS IT SHITTY! Like, Francine Pascal has MASSIVE contempt for her own characters. I'm totally going to recap the book because it's delightful in a bad-fic sort of way. Character assassination like gang busters.

I have an audition today that I'm really wishing I'd not agreed to do, because I'm just not feeling it any more. Auditions blow, in case you didn't know that. Also, I'm getting too old for this shit - trying to disguise crow's feet and my own tiredness is exhausting. First World problems, waaaah. Hahaha.

OH! The end of the world is this Saturday! [ profile] dovil, because of GST, you'll be taken out first, so I expect some Ace reporting to give me an idea of when my last 18 hours will start. I plan on eating all the foods ever and shooting random people in their butts. I mean, why not?
That episode of Friends where Ross makes everyone listen to his crappy synthesizer music makes me LOL every time. That was my junior high, yo, everyone had Casios and tried to recreate the sounds of Depeche Mode and Siouxie & the Banshees. And honestly, most of the dubstep/80s inspired music that's out right now sounds so terrible to me. It's like the point of the music is to have the tinniest, thinnest, crappiest sounding electronica playing and then ridiculously earnest (and embarrassingly navel-gazing) lyrics whined in a nasal, breathy tone. No me gusta. Also, I think I used up all of the adverbs and adjectives, sorry.

And then there was this mix of a song by a band [who's very picture makes me want to punch them in the Bert and Ernie sweaters. Oh, you're so hip and fresh! Bleh.] BUT THE SONG. All remixed by Matthew Dear, and let me tell you, if you see his name attached to anything, it's going to be golden. Honest. [The other mix on that page, not so much.]

I have very strong opinions on music, let me show you them, lol. OOOOH, the biggest BIGGEST BIGGEST pet peeve is when you can hear someone's damn fingers sliding up the guitar strings. NO. GAH, and I heard one song where that was like... on purpose. EVERY. DAMN. NOTE. "Skreeeeee! C SSKREEEEEE! E-flat." But that diminished 9TH? That's a man's chord. Ahahaha.

When you [general you] do that god awful sliding you have just told me that 1) you don't take your "art" seriously, 2) you are a hack, and 3) you don't practice strengthening your fingers like all stringed instrument players should. Before you try and tell me why it's okay (or why you don't notice it, etc.) let me stop you right there. My father and sisters are honest-to-god virtuosos on the guitar, both classical and acoustic. Dad trained with THE classical guitarists of the 20th century. You wouldn't be allowed to take your guitar out of the CASE if they knew you did that, esp. if you did that on purpose.

So. If you think you're a guitarist and still make that back-tooth pain skreeee! noise as you slide your fingers around, you've got a long way to go, dudebro. Get those fingers crisp and clean. Doesn't matter what style of music you're into, the best of all genres know that.

That was nice and random, huh? Nuh uh, this is. I made 15 foot long curtains this weekend. With grommet/rings to hang them by. They are GORGEOUS. I've only had the fabric in my craft closet for... a year? Well, it's because I have a crappy sewing machine (a Brother, aka "so you want to learn to sew!" machine.) I had to borrow my s-mom's bad ass Pfaff to get through the heavy material and was so sad to give it back to her that I decided to go hunt around and see if I could find a used one for a reasonable price. (Um, they are pricey. As in 2 - 3 GRAND. Damn.) I happened on a store that really needed to break even before the year was out and got an ABSOLUTE SCORE on a top of the line machine. I'm talking 60% off the retail price, just over his cost for the machine. Oh my god, I wriggled my tush all the way home. Like, I might make my own towels, or some shit. That's how happy I am. (Lol, no I won't. I think.)

AM I A PARTY ANIMAL, OR WHAT? Sewing and complaining, I'm almost your Nana. Wait, let me finish up making gingersnaps today and buy some hard candies. And can't you stand up straight?

OH. AND LASTLY, FOR LONGTIME LJ BUDS. Remember how I had a favorite aunt (Mormon) who wrote me off because I got mad about the totally repugnant racist crap she and her husband were mailing out while they were on their mission from God? GUESS WHO I HAD LUNCH WITH YESTERDAY. (And had no idea she would be there.) Oh, and guess who didn't bring up past ugliness? Neither of us. And guess who had a decent (if awkward and slightly nerve-wracking) lunch? She has two thumbs and wrote this post, that's who. GUYS I EVEN SAID GOOD THINGS ABOUT MISSIONARIES. I deserve my redonk sewing machine just for that angelic act, yo. LOL.
Meet Hi Dolla. Hi Dolla looks like the love child of Kendra Wilkinson and Anna Nicole Smith. It follows that I therefore am strangely attracted to her persona. I don't know if I should laugh at or marvel with this chick. I mean, let's face it, this chick has FLOW. No, she does. [It's disheartening to see the negative comments because she's a) overweight and b) white and c) has blinged toofs. Eh, it's the look, yo, and big girls are hot.]

I do wish she would take those stupid red and blue extensions out of her hair. (And now I keep singing "Lady Ess Oh Veeeeeeeeee!" for some inexplicable reason.) One thing is for certain, I ain't never seen a girl like that before. Lol.

Okay. *hand clap* I have fabric for the kimono, I have sushi for my lunch, and I have a soundtrack in the background. Time to knock out some bidness. (And I'm taking pictures of the costume process like last time, for those interested. Wheee!) (And Oprah doesn't air until 4pm here, so I won't know about the Sister Wives interview until later. NO SPOILERS OMG! )
1. Do you number the pages on your manuscript? (Believe it or not, Writer's Market doesn't say!)
2. For non-fiction, should I include a Table of Contents? Should I put it in there before the prologue, just like a typical book? *head desk* I feel so stupid...
Have been told 1= Yes, 2 = Yes, Yes. If you know otherwise, feel free to chime in. :)
3. Would someone write my query letter to an agent for me for a plate of nachos? ;)

For those wondering what the hell I'm talking about, I think I've finally finished my book, Oh My Heck! An Insider's Guide To Identifying (and avoiding) Mormons.

(so people don't want electronic submissions typically, huh? Damn. It's so much faster.)

OT: happy birthday, Snow!
OT #2: I had a crap bottle of wine last night that tasted like apple juice with a dirty sock soaking in it. GROSS. Fortunately I had a bottle of bordeaux on hand to get the stink out. If you like overly sweet wine, or really fruity (to the point of being tropical) Reisling, that's your wine. you can have all of it.
OT #3: You can still play the music meme from yesterday! READ THE RULES. There's some fun music for downloading over there, too. Big thanks to those of you that shared your lists and the links to go with it.
So today started off rotten and I'm trying to find some inner zen. I have some go-to songs that I listen to which led me to thinking of making out in high school. What? It's a process. And I thought to myself, why don't I make a high school make out mix? And then I thought to myself, why don't I upload that and encourage my flist to make their own make out lists? And then I thought, and why not make a meme out of it? Can't we all use some imagination and toe curling and all that? The short answer: heck yeah! So this is the High School Make Out Music Mix Meme!

While I try and breathe deep and get this rassle-frassle book finished, and quit opening emails from rude people that insist on sending me pictures of spiders, and get around to banning trolls that think I'm the most horrible person ever for not realizing that Bella and Edward are the most romantic people EVAR (haha, that one made me laugh, actually, because the person was clearly unhinged) ...while all that is going on in the background, have some music on me. (If you don't want to state when you graduated, that's cool. Just be sure to pick songs that you would have listened to while in high school.)

Rules and my list are under the cut. High School Make Out Music Mix Meme! )
I've had a couple of people ask for this, and I'm sorry it's taken so long to get up. It's uh... big. Currently I'm walking about 2 1/2 hours 6 days a week with that bumping up to 3 1/2 hours five times a week, so I need a lot of music. This is the newest mix I've made. I replace it every two weeks, or sooner, depending. (If you're wondering why I walk so much, it's because I'm raising money for women with breast cancer - I'm walking 60 miles in one weekend. Feel free to make a donation, should you feel so inspired. It's an amazing organization with every single penny going directly to someone's care, not an administrator.)

music downloads under the cut )
I've been rocking out to the Sixteen Candles soundtrack, but because it bugged me that so many of the songs that were in the movie weren't on the soundtrack (Young Guns by Wham! for example) I've found most of them and have them here to share. I've got a request list at the bottom, if anyone could help out with a few rare tracks...

If they were me, if they were me, if I was you, if I was you... )

Have a great weekend!
[ profile] moosesal gave me a prompt for a music meme, songs with the letter "P" in them. You're only supposed to do 5, but I can never just do 5 songs. They're after the jump.

I made a joke yesterday about having disappeared, and realized there were several more references I could have made, after a thread with [ profile] tabaqui.

  • Marshall, Will, and Holly (on a great expedition.) They survived the greatest earthquake ever known, high on a mountain, where their raft started to toss. Resulting in their being plunged down, deep below. They were [dramatic pause] in the Land of the Lost [insert echo]. The Land [dramatic pause] of the Lost. [echo] This has been Chaca NoGo, reporting live. Well, if you lived millions of years ago. On our 11 o'clock news, we'll hear the "real story" about these crystal thieves from the locals, the Sleestaks.

    [recorded interview] "Hiiiiiiiiiisssssssssssssssss!" [translation at bottom of screen: we had these teleporters set up all over our side of town so moms could zip off to the store, you know? And they'd come in, grab the "pretty rocks" And there you have the Mrs. stuck with an arm full of groceries, and the babies without dinner. I mean, come on!]

  • 1.2 jiggawatts. Except I TOTALLY would not have dated my mom, even to get back online.

Okay, I'll quit now before I embarrass myself. (Too late!) La musica! Don't stop, (can't stop!) won't stop the beat! )

I'm curious to know what you're taking, just because I find music fun to talk about.
I'm the 1% fool, for those doing the math. UGH, we have wind gusts to 40mph here today, which means I am firmly planted indoors, as the wind is my enemy. Sorry, Sally Dog, you can play "chase the laser pointer" inside for your exercise. Every April Fools joke I've had played on me today has been me getting RickRolled, which, hey. I love me some Rick Astley. (Did you know he's Mormon?) Anyway, I've decided that David Archaleta on American Idol is a Rick Astley wannabe. Except I like Rick. (Never gonna give you up, Rick!!)

I've been meaning to post about a movie for WEEKS and keep forgetting. "Once," that beautiful, wonderful, heart-breaking movie that came out... in 2006. I know, I'm always behind on this stuff. (I can raise a family, or I can stay current. I can't do both.) I've got the soundtrack under the cut and LOTS OF SPOILERS. If you've not seen it, DO NOT READ. It's such a lovely, quiet movie, you should go in fresh. Falling Slowly )

And because I laughed at it, this is a clip from the AFI festival, it's the director and writer (my bro-in-law) dressed as vampires protesting Blood on the Highway for "misrepresentation of vampires." "Dangit, Clark! You just set us back 1000 years! Go call your sponsor!" Vampires having regular guy names is always funny to me. (On my honor, it's not an April Fool's joke. It's also work safe.)

Has anyone read "A Final Solution" by Michael Chabon? Hmmm. Overall I was pretty "meh" about it. I did like the chapter from the parrot's perspective. I'm reading Phillip Roth and "World War Z" right now. To say those are polar opposites is not stretching the truth.... Alright, enough random stuff from me. Tell me stories, talk to me about books, keep me from having to do laundry and mop!!
You know what makes me fire up my get up and go? Good music. Want some? ETA: New songs, 10 in total at 11:05am :)

Lodi dodi, we love to party, we don't hang around and we don't bother nobody - songs from hip hop, blues, rock, and Bhangra genres )

GOOD MORNING, EVERYONE! Unless you live elsewhere, then GOOD EVENING, FRIENDS. Also, [ profile] anelith? YOU ARE A STINKER. A wonderful, wonderful stinker. Got your package, and thank you so much. I LOVE them. And you!
I've had a complaint/worry about not showing up under the cut - if you're using Firefox, you'll have to make an exception to allow their interactive widgets. I'm very happy with them, so it's worth the exception, if you're worried. If you want to check out any other songs I've put up there (granted, it's not a ton) you can check out My Box here (snerk - I'm 12). I'm "Stoney" on their site. Also, if you liked the song I linked yesterday, "Sea Lion Woman" by Feist, you might like her latest album under the cut to spare your scroll )

I have literally a gazillion things to do today (literally.) Later today is Gingerbread House making day - I'm very excited as I've not had one since I was a kid. (Marshmallow snowmen!!) Even though I'm not Christian, I sure do love all the hoo-ha that comes with Santamas. Tomorrow is fudge! If I can get all of my stuff done, I have GOT to make another bad!fic post. Hoe. Lee. Crap dogs. I so love the weird, y'all. LOVE it. In the meantime, may I offer you some Kung Fu Pr0n? AHAHAHA. Um, not work safe. Not even remotely. (You'll have to verify your age before you can see it. IT IS WORTH IT for the LULZ.) WHAT. I ask you.

The sound effects alone... STAY UNTIL THE END. Trust me. *crying from laughter*
Aww, Marcel Marceau died. A legion of men in black and white striped shirts are miming tears. Also: METALOCALYPSE HAS BEGUN. For those of you not in the know, it is only the greatest cartoon about the greatest fake metal band in history. It's ridiculously violent, the music is awesome, and it's HILARIOUS. You can catch up on episodes at Doodley Ding Dong Tick Tock. \m/ -- _ -- \m/

I have learned that has a firefox add-on so you can manage your account from your browser. COOL. (It took me a second to realize that I could click on "Flickr" on the manage screen to get to I'm not the sharpest knife in the drawer.) I've got a massive To Do list today including a trip to the DMV, I'm behind on some comments, reading, etc. As penance, I bring you happy making music for a Monday: film music from 60s Italian erotic movies!

Have a great day! (And happy birthday to [ profile] wolfling!)
Yay for this week zooming by, holy smokes. I'm worn out, and still have loads to get done today. Something that is making me VERY happy is that I found (like how Born Agains find Jesus - he wasn't missing, you just didn't know about it) Elizabeth Fraser. Who is Elizabeth Fraser you might be asking? She's the lead singer of The Cocteau Twins, one of my most favorite "unplug from life and float on a cloud" bands of all time. She sounds like she's singing in another language - my sister and I used to think/speculate that they were Finnish, or something. She just mangles her words on purpose, and it's amazing how you can CARE about what she's saying without having a damn clue as to what she's saying. :D

She has done some songs with Massive Attack, with Peter Gabriel (!!) and was the UNCREDITED SINGER on the Lord Of The Rings soundtracks, esp. Isengard Unleashed. AWESOME! (I'm listening to the song with Peter Gabriel and... it doesn't sound like him, but it's from his CD. Huh. It's pleasant, if not a bit too twee/folk festival for me.) Have at it, if you like it. And if someone could send over some lunch, that would be great. I'm starving! (Not literally. Figuratively. Hee!)

Cherry Coloured Funk - Cocteau Twins
Pitch The Baby - Cocteau Twins
Silent Spring - Massive Attack w/ Elizabeth Fraser
Downside Up - Peter Gabriel (?) and Elizabeth Fraser
Claire de Lune - Debussy (I put this in because when my cousin was here last week, she was approving the piano my father made her - you read that right *is proud* and she sat down after touching the beautiful rosewood and played this song flawlessly. Not only is this a beautiful piece of music, it was wonderful to hear it played so well on an instrument my father made with his hands.)

HAVE EXCELLENT WEEKENDS. I'm off in search of FOOD, zomg. (And I'll have to zip up Isengard Unleashed for those wanting it, as it's too large for's free account size.)
  • Gossip Girl is my new guilty pleasure. I just-. Well. *points to guilty* The first ep is re-airing this Sunday night on the CW channel, for those that get it. (It's like a SUPER NAUGHTY Sweet Valley High/Caitlin. But you know, not mind-numbingly written.)

  • I wrote Office Fic yesterday that is "funny!" and "hilarious!" and "so true to character it's like I'm reading an episode!" You can be the judge. :D [/shameless and shameful.]

  • I was tagged for a music meme by Beans with the letter L: Comment and I'll give you a letter. In your journal, list ten of your favorite songs that begin with that letter.

List and links under the cut )
Speaking of entitlement, (hee) the Warren Jeffs trial was underway yesterday, and they FINALLY convinced the Key Witness to get back in the game. (She was terrified and went underground for a bit.) I'm following this like it's the '69 Moon Landing. Um... that may be a bit of an exaggeration. (That link is for the Mormon owned paper in SLC. They've... got an interesting "I didn't do it!" stance. Which is laughable.)
Can I play witcho panty line?" Those lyrics never fail to crack me up. AWESOME HAPPY WONDERFUL MOOD TODAY, PEEPS. I have links for you, I have music for you, and I have a joy joy joy joy down in my heart (where?) Down in my heart! Lynne, those Rod/Tod Flanders moments were just for you. I will bullet point and under-cut things to be organized:
  • I have re-initiated my crush on Tim Gunn with his new show on Bravo. I am also equipped with a positive attitude towards clothes shopping today and will look to follow his rules. Also, for those of you on my flist with difficult to fit busts, he had three FANTASTIC online shops that cater to LARGE breasts (and show you how to get the right fit/support.) Bigger Bras, Lingerie Mart, and Ehow
  • I was runner up for the Sotha Awards for Best Andrew Fic, and since I came in second to [ profile] entrenous88 I consider that high praise indeed! (What I Did On My Summer Vacation, By Andrew Wells) Thank you so much to whoever nominated me and those that voted! I NEVER win awards, so I'm very grateful for the kind thoughts!
  • I have been listening to happy-making music. Rules for happy music: makes me move, makes me sing, makes me do a shimmy in my pants. Music under the cut for dl'ding.
  • I would like to dare each of you to do something ridiculous today. You may choose from my suggestions, or pick your own and lemme know what you did! You can A) do a dance move from Michael Jackson's Thriller video (I personally will be doing the squat, head shimmy, overhead hand clap) or B) your impression of John Cleese's silly walk or C) something goofy of your own choosing, perhaps chair dancing while rolling up the hallway in your office? *G*

Now, on to the music! )

Also: what?! I like the line "we know you have many options for portable stripper poles, and are grateful for your choosing Lil' Mynx Poles." There are MANY options for this?! Ahahaha! "...having personally owned a pole for years..." That's what he said! :D
The definition of cruelty: telling a patient to drink 46 oz. of water (FOUR POUNDS OF LIQUID PEOPLE) before having an ultrasound, then making them wait before beginning. Um, note: I had the ultrasound to rule out something as my doctor and I try and figure out what's been wrong with me lately. (Once I know more, I can share more. No sense in speculating, imo.) The definition of inappropriate humor: my doctor coughing deeply for a full minute (he has lung cancer: STOP SMOKING, PEOPLE <3) then saying, "Pardon me. That's just my TB." Ahahahahaha.

So because I do NOT have the "C word" I am feeling light and full of vim! Possibly a dash of vigor in there, as well. And so I bring music that is making me beam with happiness:

Lily Allen - various songs. Be sure to snag "Smile." and Andres Segovia playing Bach, Suite No. 3 and him playing Bach's Suite No. 1, Minuetto with John Williams (not the movie score composer, this is the Australian classical guitar master.)

*happy siiiiigh* I've been listening to Segovia, Williams and Julian Bream for days, and I could keep on listening to nothing else. That's the sound of my childhood, man.

I may need to set dishes of food and water on the kitchen floor for the kids and sneak off to see HP. GAH. Why won't they read faster? (We have a rule: you can't see the movie unless you've read the book. We are cruel, I know.) Finally, made this last night, without having the scallions and cilantro in the avocado salsa (subbed with diced tomatoes and garlic salt) and HOLY CRAPOLA. So delicious. Thanks, Brandi for that recipe. I'm having fun cooking again, mostly because The Boy does the clean up. :D

Hi everyone! Are you having a great day? Tell me why!! *hugs you all* [ETA!] Forgot to mention The Two Coreys starts soon, eeeeee!
Up there in my Top 5 Concerts, no lie. The Police! Complete with music downloads, because I was taught to share. )

Okay, I need to gear up, get laundry finished, start packing, and pick up juice boxes and travel games (Connect 4! Merlin! um... Sorry!) because we're heading to the beach in the AM. If I don't get to chat with anyone, have a wonderful weekend!!!

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