If you don't get that reference, you're probably white. Hahaha.

OH MY GOD, FLIST I AM SO WORN OUT HOLY SMOKES. I am going on a vacation on Saturday, and I NEEDS IT, PRECIOUS, I need it so badly.

But while my head is up, allow me to put some links in your face for current things on HDJM like
Walking Dead - Too Far Gone
Buffy The Vampire Slayer - The Puppet Show (ahahaha)
Supernatural - Rock and a Hard Place (check out that 1200+ likes!! DAMN, VINNIE!)

You know, every time you click on a FB Like, you're helping spread our little site around the globe. We really appreciate that. Or Tumblr! Or Twitter! That's super nice and we like you when you do that. :)

ION, my awesome sister, [livejournal.com profile] dampersnspoons has developed an organic skin care line that is AMAZING. No, really. I know she's my sister, but you don't hear about my other sister's business, do you? This shizz is AWESOME, is organic, is reasonably priced, and lasts. And smells GREAT. And did I mention it works? And she ships, like, the same day? HIGHLY HIGHLY RECOMMEND.

HEY GUYS. Here's to hoping this week flies the hell by.
So my sister (many of y'all know her as [livejournal.com profile] dampersnspoons) has been crafting a skin care line made of purely organic materials and beta testing them on me and a few other folks. And they are AMAZING. She's finally opening her Etsy shop with a few of the items on her product line, with more coming.

Organic. Hand made. Smells FREAKING AMAZING (and not overly perfumey or flowery). And I have baby-soft skin, let me tell you. I love the serum most of all, and can't say enough good things about it. (Gorl, I put that bidness on my chest bidness to keep the ladies at attention, and seriously, this stuff is wonderful.)

Reasonably priced, comparable to Origins Plantscriptions (of which I was a 7 year devotee) without the high price. Holidays are coming up and these would make amazing stocking stuffers/gifts/bribes/IDK your life, you decide.

This post brought to you by the miracle of me having a 20 minute break while someone takes a nap. :)
Happy Birthday to [livejournal.com profile] a2zmom, who has been absent of late, but hopefully she'll see this. Hope you're well, R.

Pimp, the first: A very dear friend of mine, Yen Tan, is a director and movie producer who wrote and directed the very moving Ciao. It's about two friends finding love when one's lover dies. It won all sorts of awards, not just in the LGBT community, but in festivals around the globe. He's working on a new movie, and it's another quiet and lovely film about two parallel lives of two gay men in Texas. He says it's the story he's been wanting to tell for years, and he's looking for donations of any size to get it made. This is one that can go to Sundance and Cannes, and it's an important story. Maybe consider supporting it? At least go check out Ciao, you won't regret it. (Note: all funds are going to the production costs. I'm almost 100% that the actors are doing this for free. it means a lot to the people involved.)

Pimp, the second: my personal drug dealer [livejournal.com profile] flaming_muse (drug of choice: Klaine, and I'm not ashamed to admit it) has written another FitB story explaining the ending to the most recent episode, so heads up for spoilers to 3.3 if you've not seen it yet. I love how she writes them, and i have a sneaky suspicion that RIB follow her fics. No, really. Celebrations, PG. Read, feed.

Pimp the third, and it's self serving: Jersey Shore recap is up, and guys, THEY BROKE A DOUBLE MAGNUM OF CHIANTI. I wept, won't lie.

Pimp, the fourth, also self serving, I wrote fic yesterday! (Glee, Kurt-centric, general rating) And it's serious and sad and sweet and I love it, even if no one else does. *cry* How a boy grows up and keeps the memory of his deceased mother with him. So, yeah. Little sad in places. I cleared out the blood sweat and tears and hopefully left you with something sweet.
1) I was a crazy person last night, stressing about the bill, and then it passed and there were word parties on people's FB page and I drank waaaay too much wine and my husband just laughed and laughed at me. Good times. I'm so happy for my friends in NY that can be married and not have sex like the rest of us. (Lol.)

2) We have a new writer at Hey Don't Judge Me, and it's [livejournal.com profile] crazydiamondsue! Um, if you've been around these parts for a while you should know how funny she is. If you don't, I'll put it like this:

However, in a bit of misdirection so obvious that it’s biting (but not sucking), the first vampire on screen is actually a rotund feller in camo with his 4-pack of TruBlood tucked under his arm. He is, in fact, so trucker hat redneck that [the good ol' southern frat boy she's calling] Puka Shells (Puka Shells! Who’s so “Yee-haw, motherfucker!” that he might as well have “All right, all right, all right” tattooed on his bare chest) dubs him Billy Bob.

I mean, come on. She worked in a Matthew McConnegheyghey joke! (I have no idea how to spell his name.)

GO HERE. Put liquids out of reach. Read. Laugh. Then tell her how funny she is. Oh, and check back w/ her (or follow our twitter account @hey_dontjudgeme or the NEW TUMBLR!) later tonight as Season 2 and 3 will be recapped, then every Monday you'll have your episodic recap to make your day all betters.

I just drank all the apple juice in the world to rid myself of this hangover. I mean, YAY NEW YORK! *woozy*
Comics! Who here reads DC comics? Kassie is discussing Batman: Year 1 and Robin: Year 1 at Hey, Don't Judge Me and we're hoping to make it like a read-along feature. Nothing public, but if you need help finding those particular tomes, PM me and we'll get you going. Girls who know their stuff talking comics = awesome.

Comical! I posted my review of Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi's Mary Sue YA novel, "A Shore Thing" last night, and also won't say anything public but I would love to help you get a copy of that, as well. PM me for more information on where to find it.

Comingle! Those of you in the DFW area, the Dallas International Film Festival (formally an AFI festival, but they're branching out to reach more indie fish) starts tonight! Why should you care? Because two films I'm in are showing there, one of them is a world premiere! It's very exciting. WUSS got loads of acclaim at SXSW where it debuted a few weeks ago, and is already sold out online and has rush seats available for both, so get there early and get tickets. It's dark and funny and I'm in it for a few scenes! Narcissism & Me is a short that is also dark and hilarious and my brother in law wrote it and stars in it (and I play his Dream Girl, lol.) That's on Wednesday, and I'm super excited to finally see it on the big screen. You can still get tickets for both showings, and the shorts are promising to be fabulous.

And tonight is the Jersey Shore reunion, so tune in (I'm not kidding when I tell y'all I love this show. It's inexplicable. But there it is. Also, the reviews I've been posting all season long are meant for people who are disdainful, in case you didn't know.) What am I going to do until they hit Italy? OH RIGHT, REAL HOUSEWIVES. Lol. I'm actually a smart, educated person. I just love trashy tv.
Yen Tan is a film director that I've worked with several times. His latest movie, Ciao, is finally available for pre-ordering on US Amazon. Because Australia and NZ are totally boss, it's already available for purchase Down Under. (There's a German release on January 21, as well.) It's a quiet, beautiful (and very sexy) movie about two men finding love after a mutual friend dies. (This is not the typical gay film festival movie where someone dies BECAUSE they're gay. This is a lovely movie. *g*) It's won all sorts of awards on the film festival circuit.

Support the GLBT and independent film community and help make this a big seller!

Have a happy holiday for those that are starting your celebrations, and have a happy backside of the celebration you just wrapped up for those that celebrated Solstice and Hanukkah. And for atheists like me, happy Wednesday thru Friday! :D

(And now I go back to sewing the rest of these damned birds. Oh my god, my hands are cramped into claws. CLAWS!)
(I know he's crazy, but I still love Tom Cruise. It's inexplicable. Actually, no... that explains it. *G*)

I got an OUTSTANDING comment (that was promptly deleted because that person is a chicken, evidently. Note to anyone reading this: stand by your words. Or get new words.) that explained that they were an expert on all things Mormon by virtue of living in Utah (you see how they're not actually LDS, yes?) and that got me to laughing thinking of a convo I had with [livejournal.com profile] marenfic a while ago about people who become experts on [_insert subject here_] by virtue of knowing someone that has said experience. (my icon is from said convo, incidentally. I don't ACTUALLY think I'm Nabakov. I'm Proust. Ahahaha. Ahem.)

Anyhoodle.... that led to a list of all of the qualifications we didn't know we had! SEE! The qualifications! MARVEL! At the stupidity! THINK! Of the opportunities you've misses out on! )

I've been meaning to post a bunch of recs, so I'll do that now before I forget again. Multi-fandom, including one that might surprise you sparkle related! Recs a-go-go! )

In conclusion: FRIDAY!!!! I have a bottle of wine, crusty bread, good fruits and cheese in my future this evening with the Mr. when he finally gets back from his trip. Life's mighty fine.
In Sparkle-News, I made up a drinking game. Now, this is the kind of game that will get you seriously hammered, if not dead from alcohol poisoning. Smeyers: She really, really needs a Thesaurus, stat.

Get out your lady drinks, take a charcoal pill, and let's read the books! )

You'll notice that I've included the leaked book, Midnight Sun, and keep in mind it's only a handful of chapters, so the count tally for the possibly finished version will be way, WAY higher. And talk about laziness... It's Twilight, all the same dialogue, but from a different POV. And oh! I forgot all the stalker moments! i started counting every time Edward was really creepy/stalkerish (he even refers to himself as a stalker. UM, WHAT.)

Total count for the 12 chapters? 15. And that's a conservative number, because I counted all the stuff that happened IN ONE NIGHT as one. Dude, he reminds himself to buy OIL so he can make it so her bedroom window won't squeak. You know, because he doesn't want to WAKE HER UP while he's watching her. THAT IS FREAKY, SMEYERS.

Someone needs to record how many times Bella's heart stops beating/she stops breathing due to the nearness and perfectness of Edward. That's a double digit, for sure.

Okay, back to photoshopping "Jacob's" head on Professor Lupin. Hahahaha.
Yes, all three bambinos are in school today. It is a most glorious day, for my house will not be swarming with sweaty, arguing, hungry bodies. And those are just the neighborhood kids. [/rim shot] We ordered pizza last night, and the pizza man and I shared a stanza of "It's The Most Wonderful Time Of The Year" which made me laugh. (Side note: I've had THREE older women look wistfully at me and the kids and inform me that I need to enjoy this time. This morning as I walked The Boy and #2 to the bus stop, both very nervous, this stranger kept telling me how I need to enjoy this time, her son's at A&M, blah blah, and I wanted to tell her to shut up so I COULD enjoy this time. Possibly I needed to drink my coffee before heading to the bus stop at the end of the block...)

I will spend the day with my sister on the nearest patio serving fajita nachos and margaritas.

I will spend the night, however, finishing up my picture book explanation of the Twilight series. I am very excited about it.

Last, before I drag my liver to the nearest cantina, Chapter Five of "And It Came To Pass" is up, for those reading. Two more to go.

Don't act like you're too mature to laugh at a hump day joke. I just witness (audibly) baby Jonah's first poopy diaper. (Crazydiamondsue's baby boy.) You know what the best thing about that is? I'm here with three potty trained children. :D

  • Speaking of three (segues are for kids. And PacWest dweebs) I just posted Chapter Three of And It Came To Pass, the LDS missionary fic.

  • Master Bootsie "McLovin" Collins of the Funkadelic is the noisiest damn cat. He would NOT shut up all last night, just chattering away to anyone. (I think he's looking around for Mr. S, who is traveling. Aww. Our old cat Scrappy used to call out for him when he was gone, too. I <3 Kitties.)

  • I will neither confirm nor deny that a close relative of mine wished that her husband would STAY MENTALLY ILL so she could leave him without guilt, because if he "got all better and became who I wanted him to be and married someone else, that would suck." Uh...

  • My family, ladies and gentlemen. (And it's not my awesome sister, Beth, for the record.)

  • I do not want any judgment (I buried this one) but if there is Edward/Bella wedding night fic, I want it. I cannot BELIEVE that Smeyers faded to black on that one when she's going full out graphic in the violence department. (But that's par for the course for Utah. No boobies, but blow shit up, whoo!) And the moment that leads up to me thinking she was Going To Go There was... actually decent. She can turn a phrase, after all. Huh. The rest is utter shite, however.

  • For ATLANTA area peeps who love Nick Brendon, the ATLANTA FILM FESTIVAL is showing Blood on the Highwaytonight at 10 PM (ticket info on their page)

  • it's a small festival, so I can't vouch for the quality of the theater/sound, etc., but if you can watch The Aristocrats and laugh, this is the movie for you. (NB shows up towards the end.) And don't forget: Italians love my sleaze. :D

Two fic posts in as many days? And there will be more all week. I don't know, either. Aaaaaaaaaaanyway, this is the Mormon Missionary fic I've been yammering on about for months. Where the characters are based on the MormonsExposed.com calendar dudes? (But only the cute ones?) And they're gay? And they come out? That one? [crickets] I had beta help from [livejournal.com profile] ely_jan and some serious butt kicking in the writing department from [livejournal.com profile] germaine_pet, so I'm feeling pretty good about how it's turning out.

Well, chapter one is up. (I'm posting that over on my IJ account since it's "mature" [read: will have smex throughout] and because I refuse to log this journal as adults only, because I don't like jumping through other people's hoops. *shrug*)

I *do * think the world is coming to an end because for the FOURTH STRAIGHt day, we have not hit 90 degrees or warmer, and we have had rain every day. This is insane! And wonderful. Yesterday, actually, stayed in the 70s. I have never, in all my life of living in Texas, seen an August like this before. I. Love. It. It's usually 100+ and so hot and miserable that people just flop around, grumpy and unhappy until the fall rains kick in during the last half of September. I have a garden that is growing so fast (side note: when the soil temp hit 90 degrees, everything shuts down. It's too hot for roots to get food.) that I can practically hear it creaking. <3

While it continues to rain today, there will be soup! <-- a complete novelty in summer time. HOT soup, that is. There will be cleaning done by my rugrats! I will get some more writing done! HUZZAH! Caloo calay! (And then watch more track and field events. Dude. Jamaica is spanking the world! So awesome.)

[/end ramble] FOR NOW. :) Hey, go read my story. Yes, I'm pathetic. What of it? ;)
Up too early today, to bed too late last night. There may not be enough coffee in the world to wake me up...

1. I posted my Lynnevitational fic yesterday, and I'm pretty pleased with how it turned out. Drusilla and Spike from 1953 - NFA bumping into poets and musicians and unwittingly inspiring them, for those interested. Lots of musical references, but you don't have to know them to enjoy, hopefully. [/shameless self pimp - it won't pimp itself, people!]

2. Saw Tropic Thunder yesterday. I will be going back to see it when the kids start school next week. Holy crap, did I laugh my butt off. mild spoilers )

3. I'm almost ready to start Breaking Dawn. Fortunately I have a cabinet full of liquor to numb the pain. Good GOD are these such fluffy wanna be fanfic stories. The way she has them talk! The complete lack of anything attractive about the lead girl!! The shameless borrowing of tropes from the Book of Mormon and Harlequin romance novels!! *tears out hair*

Aw, well, it's rainy, I'll climb back in bed, and mock the stupid. Pretty good for a Monday, all in all. (And I really need some Tropic Thunder icons...)
Turns out I wrote quite a bit, huh. Mostly for self-pimping because who doesn't want new comments on old fics? record keeping purposes.

from crack to creative to crud, an alliterative list of fics, except the list in in order )

Goodness, I ended up writing a lot! Let's see if I can't do that in 2008... *rubs chin* I'd love links to your "year in fic" posts for bookmarking, if you're so inclined! I already have [livejournal.com profile] viciouswishes and [livejournal.com profile] marenfic tagged, ftr. (And finally, happy birthday to [livejournal.com profile] samson!)

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