Karma Laundrette

Look, I make no apologies for my Coreys love, never have. And I won't lie, I totally cried this morning when I heard that Corey Haim had been found dead of an overdose. We all kinda knew, but still. He had absolutely destroyed his brain with drugs, could barely get a sentence out with any coherency, but still. He really was a good actor back in his day. He's my age. He was one of the group of actors that I dreamed about working with when I was young and starting out.

But it's freaky how my friend Steve turned back up in my life last night because he's the Haim to my Feldman [I'm cuter than Feldspar, I'd like to think.] ( A trip in the Wayback Machine and how it's come full circle, but hopefully with a different ending than Corey's. )

Story Slam! My New Favorite Thing

I did my first ever StorySlam last night, and I needn't have been worried. I was tres nervous as I hadn't been on a stage in 16 years. Yow. I'm old. Or rather, I've been busy for the past decade and change. What a great way to ease back into it. ( My story, others, and THE OUTCOME OF THE COMPETITION. Did Stoney win? Bum bum buuuuum! )

And of course, an older woman (in her 60s, wearing a kitty cat appliqué sweater) approached me and said, "You said you were single and Mormon, and there's a lovely single Mormon man at my table, I want to introduce you!" And I replied politely, "No, ma'am, I never mentioned being single," I showed my ring, "I'm married with children and I'm also no longer Mormon." Smile. She huffed at me, then stormed off. LOL. A note to anyone curious: a Mormon dude in his late 30s that isn't married? He's probably gay. :D

A great experience, I couldn't sleep hardly at all last night, my mind was whirling so much. And I'm looking forward to next month, and really hope to see Steve there, sober.

Yay, new week! I'm raring to go. Got a huge project list for the week, a spineful of determination, and a heart filled with song. Or in other words, I've had a lot of coffee this morning. \o/

It's important you know that this is SHARK WEEK. Which means it's all sharks, all the time in my house. (New readers: my 5 yr old is obsessed with them. She can identify sharks by their profiles. It's a little creepy, I won't lie to you.) Last night was the Air Jaws show which, on my ridiculously ginormous HDtv had me leaping back against the couch. HOLY LEAPING SHARK! I swear to the god of your choice, if I saw that coming out of the water, I would swallow my tongue and die. No. See, that is why I don't like swimming beyond the sand bar in the ocean, kids. GAAAAH! (my old LJ banner) Good lord. (that last one makes my chest hurt - total primal fear. If I had a tail, it would be covering my nethers.) I need an icon with Kenneth the Page (30 Rock) where he reminds Tracy that "You should live every week like it's Shark Week!" Ahaha. I love that show.

SPEAKING OF THE BEST SHOW ON TV EVER: Who watched The Two Coreys last night aside from me and grammar_glamour (who made a drinking game, hee!) Okay, they are SO GAY for each other, it's all right there on screen!!! *cough* I totally got it right, y'all. Haim mentioned how he had to wear knee pads during the shooting of Lost Boys and Feldman piped in with: and that would mark a requirement for the rest of his career. Ahahaha! They were CLUTCHING at each other. Feldman couldn't decide who he wanted more, his hot (but high-maintenance) wife or his longtime love, Haim. :D ..and when did Feldman become attractive? This is disturbing. Sunday nights, 10/9pm E/C, A&E.

OH MY GOD HOT MALE NANNY JUST RAN BY MY HOUSE!!!!!!! Today is going to be a fiiine day. In conclusion, have a meta-post about Ronald Bilius Weasley. HAPPY MONDAY, EVERYONE!

But I'll try. Except for how I'm currently writing Sacha Baron Cohen/Will Ferrell fic, because come on. In the words of a Hungarian Tourist with an incorrect translation guide, "My nipples explode with delight!" [/random Monty Python reference]

moosesal tagged me for a 10 things meme, which I will lovingly jam under a cut, because YOU PEOPLE MATTER. And I don't want you getting carpal tunnel from all the scrolling, omg. ( me me me nom nom nom )

In addition to this Will/Sacha fic I'm writing, I'm wanting to create this whole 80s 'verse with the Coreys and Rob Lowe and Jason Bateman from his teen years and Ricky Schroeder and Elizabeth Shue and Molly Ringwald and I realize this means I'm trying to relive my youth and I should just turn off the Go Gos and Cure music and MOVE FORWARD. Hahahahaha. I get to meet with the pool designer later today and find out if my idea is doable. *bites nails* Today is a GOOD DAY! There should be cookies. Anyone have cookies? Oooh, or brownies! Brownies! Brownies are good, too.

SO. *clasp hands* Where's the Johnny Depp/River Phoenix slash? Because it's practically canon. ALSO: River Phoenix/Michael Stipe IS canon, I've learned. !! Any ideas? Any links? ilu, if you have some.

omg I have so much to do and yet I've been reading old magazines for info on late 80s stars and thinking of ways to make an entire universe of sleaze and rock and sex with Johnny Depp, Winona, River, Ed Furlong, The Coreys, Scott Baio, Samantha Morton, Keifer Sutherland, Jason Patric, Charlie Sheen etc. WHAT THE HELL, ME? I don't have TIME for this. *does anyway*

Finally, and this is coming from someone who wrote Anna Nicole Smith and her SON, this Coreys fic for the Kinkathon I'm writing is like... the sleaziest thing I've ever written. Remind me to never sign up for any ficathons ever again. All I want is to sleep and I can't!! *cries* I'm waiting for the laptop to be free so I can rip a bunch of images and upload here. Yes, they're Haim's. And yes, he has a GLORIOUS ass. (Let's not think of him now with his teeth on eBay, okay? Or how he agreed to have sex with a fan so he could EAT. Oh, Corey.)

Note to moosesal: can you still beta this weekend-Monday, and do you want a copy of "Dream a Little Dream?" Ahahaha. But seriously?

OMG. Did everyone BUT me know that Corey Haim was in a homoerotic/soft core porn? Wait. Weren't ALL of his films homoerotic?

Dude. It's called BLOWN AWAY. Are you KIDDING ME with this?

NOT WORK SAFE. READ THESE WORDS BEFORE YOU CLICK.

WOW. In other news, it's RAINING!! It's in the upper 70s!! IN TEXAS!! Woot. Also, if you don't have celeb_letters2u friended, well you are making the baby Satan cry. Which is MUCH harder to accomplish than making the baby Jesus cry, because he cries over EVERYTHING. Pimp it, yo!

I'm writing today - rain is happy writing day making. Er something. COREY HAIM!! Naked bum! Ha ha ha. The only way that could be better was if Ricky Schroeder was in it with him. It would make my 14 year old heart EXPLODE.